What To Treat The Ladies On.
When I was young my dad told me never try to impress a woman on a first date. He said if she really liked you, she would be happy walk to with you to a take-way stand and eat whatever you gave her.In view of the international nature of CD I thought I would compile a guide on what to treat your long distance lover when you finally get to meet her.
An English Miss –
Fish and chips wrapped in newspaper.
A French Mademoiselle –
Take her for a walk on a rainy day, she will get the snails, take you to her maisonette, prepare them, cook them and by the time they are ready, you will be already full up with the hors-d´oeuvres. (Minerva)
A German Fräulein –
A doner kebab - whatever that is. I hope it is cheaper than sauerkraut. (KNenagh)
An Australian Sheila –
A Vegemite Sandwich .
An African Maiden –
Pap and Wors (thick maize porridge and sausage). Pap is optional!
An US Chick –
Hotdogs from a pavement stand.
An Irish Lassie -
A small helping of Black Pudding. (Hans4711)
An Afrikaans Madam –
A Boerewors (sausage) roll. The roll is optional!
An Indonesian Bird –
Raw oysters. Just take her to the sea. She will take them out for you too.
A Barbadian Queen –
Hot Bajan Fish Cakes.
A China Doll –
A generous helping of rice served on a bed of rice.
A Japanese Lady –
Sashimi - Raw fish. Just take her to the fresh fish market.
An Italian Signorina –
Chinese quick noodles. She will love the superior quality.
A Portuguese Senorita –
Dried fish. No need to take her anywhere, she will have a good supply.
A Canadian Miss -
Clubbed baby seals. Plenty of frozen carcasses abandoned in the ice fields.
A Spanish Señorita -
Take her to the nearest Tapa Bar and buy the cheapest drink. (Zman)
A Ugandan Beauty in Nigerian refugee camp -
An UN ration pack bought on the black market.
But now I’m stuck. Maybe with some suggestions we can complete this manual for overseas dating.
Comments (97)
Nooo, that is too expensive. It is a first test to see if she really likes you. Maybe a peace of dried moose meat to chew on.
Simply wonderful and 100 percent on the ball.
A bit on the expensive side but is that what it will take to impress a Kiwi lassie?
I keep on forgetting how expensive meat is overseas. Meat is relatively cheap here and being able to hunt for free, venison is free to me.
Zman just suggested it. I will add it to the list
And the still won't trade with you?
That is a great suggestion. I'd settle for snails above frog legs any day.
For just one drink? Such a place will be packed here.
How do they make a profit?
I think you are in trouble. Once those guys latch onto you, the are worse than the tax man. The never let go. Maybe they think you are a Muslim radical.
What do we treat a US Queen on?
A raw Tilapia for her to fry?
Got confused with a local product. Will amend immediately.
Been hunting treasures lately?
I cannot hunt for free all the time. It is just once a year that I can shoot a large antelope and maybe one or two smaller types, but then I have to jump in and help on the farm as well. So it is not really free.
We complain such a lot here in SA but our food and booze prices is really good compared to overseas.
You see the whole idea is not to spend money on her during the first date. To see if she really likes you. So no restaurants.
A Barbadian Queen –
Hot Bajan Fish Cakes.
Is that a clue?
Congrats!
I have amended the menu accordingly but if your a doner kebab is too expensive I will refer to complaints to you.
So the Mafia have a branch in Spain now too?
Nothing implied my dear. Bajan is the name of the tribe that lives on the island.
But thanks just the same.