A Dog’s Life

Hi, I am Jack Russell but I respond to the name of Voertsek which means ‘scram’. I know I got the name to chase the other dogs away when my master calls me. He is sleeping now and that silly cat is walking around in the neighborhood. While the cat is away the dog can play. I know how much my master loves blogging so I decided to help him a bit. He does run out of ideas at times.

I have been in captivity for about four years now; ever since I was so cruelly snatched from my mother when I was just a puppy. I did run away a few times but so far I always came back. A dog gets hungry very quickly.

My master has ‘papers’ for me and he knows my ‘family tree’. It does make me feel important but otherwise it is of no help to me. I normally use any tree.

I am not the only animal here. There are two other dogs, a cat, a bird and a fish but I don’t think the cat is a prisoner for he can come and go as he likes. Except for the cat, who is just Cat – like my master, we all have human names. The cat also responds to the name of ‘Meneer’ which is funny because my master calls all male strangers ‘Meneer’.

I don’t know if the fish is an animal. His human name is Betta Splendens. They say he is a male but it sounds like a woman’s name to me. He is kept in a tank of water and he just swims around showing off. I heard he is a Siamese fighting fish but to me he does not look like much of a fighter. Not like me who kill the rats in the yard at night. I’m very good at it but I am going to stop it because the cat gets all the credit for it. Life is unfair.

I’m not sure about the status of the bird whose human name is African Grey. My master calls him Skollie, which means ‘scoundrel’, and he sits in a cage suspended from the ceiling. I think he is only in protective custody because the cat does not like him. He can speak human language and is often in conversation with my master. I wonder what they talk about when I’m not around. We dogs are not allowed in the house without our master calling us. I hope that stupid bird does not tell my master that I am here now for he is watching me all the time.

The other two dogs here are my best friends. Fluffy is very old and has no ‘papers’ but she has ‘arthritis’. My master once said that she is a ‘pavement special’, whatever that is. She is small like me; almost blind and battles to get up in the mornings. Somebody told my master the other day that he must have her ‘put out’ but my master was not happy with the idea. He said Fluffy has been with him for almost fifteen years.

The other dog – Bruno is his name – is big and strong. He also has ‘papers’ and is a bit of a bully but he does keep the place safe. We are fed separate from him because he eats our food as well. His human name is Bull Terrier and quite a few people said he looks like a pig. It is my job to wake Bruno up when there is trouble.

I like my master but I would like to get more of the food that he eats. Instead he feeds us, the cat included, on pellets that he says is good for us. What does he know about what is good for us? The cat gets leftover food much more often than us. The bird, who is fed on funny looking black seeds, gets a large thighbone every time my master has chicken on the table.

Sometimes, when I was naughty, my master hits me with a piece of rolled-up newspaper. Then I make a lot of noise and run away to make him believe that I am scared of him. He can be so silly sometimes.

I don’t like it when my master gets visitors because sometimes, when there are small children, we are locked up in the tool shed. I don’t know why because I like playing with children and I cannot help if they fall over when I jump against them. They can be such sissies.

Continued in the comments section.