Why Are Some Men So Clumsy?
I once read somewhere that men were made to work and woman were made to love but I’m not so sure about some of my fellow men.
On Sunday, coming from my sister, some fella flagged me down along the way. It was in a very abandoned stretch of road but as he was dressed in suit and tie and the back of his car was jacked up sky high, I stopped. He had a flat tire, he explained.
So what is the problem, I asked. He said that he cannot get the wheel off. I looked under the car and found that the jack was precariously balanced on a round stone. He had the jack under the body of the car. Under heavy protest from him, I lowered the jack. He got quiet when I asked him if he wanted me to help him or not. I removed the trimming from the wheel and loosened the wheel nuts.
Then I took the spare wheel out the boot. Can you believe it? It was still secured in the boot.
When I tossed his round stone into the bush where it belonged, he almost croaked but when I looked at him he shut his trap. Then I moved the jack to under the axle and jacked it a few inches the get the wheel high enough off the ground so the spare would go on without problems. I removed the wheel nuts, pulled off the wheel, slipped the spare on, replaced the nuts and tightened the nuts just enough to seat the rim properly.
After lowering the car, I tightened the nuts properly and when I did the second nut across from the first he told me I skipped a nut. At first I wanted to ask him why he did not do the job himself but then I stood up and explained why the nuts should be tightened crosswise. Not that it made any impression on him.
Anyway, I tightened the nuts, replaced the wheel trimming and stowed the wheel, jack and spanner back in his boot. Seven minutes flat and if he was not talking so much shit, I could have done it in five.
And then he had to insult me by giving me R100.00 which, after a moment’s hesitation, I took for the insult; where a simple thank you would have been enough. Can it really be that he had never had to replace a flat wheel?
Both my daughters can replace a wheel in under ten minutes. I made sure they could do it long before they were 18.
Have a great day and don't get flat today.
Comments (52)
morning Cat,
Next time put a reminder on your phone about where you have left it. Then you won't have to phone.
That was really nice of you to stop and assist.
I have to admit I do not know how to change a flat tire
Have a great day!
I'd feel to stupid to call for assistance on a job that takes 5 minutes.
But assistance may not be at hand. It may be late at night, far out of town and you may have left you mobile at home or the battery could be flat.
If you live in a country like SA where we have very large uninhabited spaces where there is no signal at all, you are going to have a problem if you get a flat midway between nowhere and nothing.
I have a friend like that. He does not even know the names of the different tools. Whenever I go to him I have to help him fix a loose door handle or a leaking tap or something. He cannot even replace a light bulb.
But he sure knows how to make money!
I think parents are to blame in a big way. I was taught these things by my parents from a fairly young age. My mother even taught me how to sow on a button properly.
We had a similar guy here when I was a child. He was a farmer and he drove a wreck of a pick-up truck that would never have passed any roadworthy test. Because he was such a character everybody knew him and nobody bothered with him. Never put money in a parking meter and never got a ticket.
Then we got a new traffic cop in town and he decided to put an end to this business. He waited for Oom Japie at the bottom of a long steep hill outside town and when the old man came down the hill he stood in the middle of the road showing Oom Japie to pull over.
Needles to say that his brakes were almost non existent and he tried to show the traffic cop to get out the way but the man stood his ground until almost too late. He had to dive out the way and rolled down a little embankment.
For years after that we used to ask him to tell us about it, which he did with relish. And when you asked him what happened about it he used to laugh and say: "Nothing! I told the bloody fool I had no brakes."
When we were called to a similar situation back then, we just tied a rope around the climber to secure him and I went back to the rescue truck to get the 5 litre container of engine oil (that we always had on board along with coolant and brake fluid), soaked the climber front and back and had him out of there in 15 minutes....
10 hours, what a joke.....
.......
We also have attendants here.
But changing a tyre is no big deal and most women should manage with it. It is only with the bigger wheels where they will have a problem. The can get rather heavy.
No thanks dear, I prefer do do things above sea level.
I bet he was not very impressed when you soaked him in oil.
He may have thought you were going to sacrifice him to the stone gods.
Oh, I can swim alright.
And I like the sea but I don't fancy having to do it in the middle of the night in my fancy silk pajamas.
We left the ambulance guys to clean the oil of him, they were none to impressed....
......
... and let's face it, I love watching men work.
With a brass plate sign to say that he was sacrificed to the king of rock. Will make his family feel important too.
I'm sure you would like to see us work.
But this could happen at a remote place with no men passing by for the next six hours. Where you could have been on your way again in ten minutes.
But I'm not just talking about car tires here and not specifically about women. I'm talking about those menfolk who cannot even adjust the cistern water level when it overflows.
You also live in a sizable country where there are areas without cell coverage and it may be hours before the next car comes along. But never mind the flat tire. What about the little thing in and around the house? Can you fix a broken water pipe or replace the washer on a leaking tap?
Yes they do. Luckily only at the bottom. The top is normally still pumped. Pity they did not go flat on top iso at the bottom; then you could still drive on.
Thanks for helping out. I have such a slow connection lately I cannot read the comments ahead, but at least Luke has a second opinion now as well.
Then you might be pleasantly surprised to learn that I fix everything that breaks in or around my house. From the laptop and the microwave to the electricity, plumbing and the lawn mower.
In fact, I'm the only thing around here that does not work and that is only because I'm passed my 'use before date' and therefor retired.
Well, well, well! Just when I thought I was alone in my thoughts, I found somebody who shares my views. Need I say anything more?
hi baby.....
honey......if all men are as smart as you,
you will not be a special man darling...
Nothing special here. I come from a time and place where everybody was like this. Oh, where have all the flowers gone.
Fat chance of that happening now, I hear the moon had been colonized and is teeming with alternate life forms and that NASA had been warned never to return.
Maybe it is time we go there and start the first Alien-Boer War. We have fought against bigger odds before and this lot's supply lines will be even longer.
i hope this makes you happy sweetheart....
I can change a bicycle tire and repair it but I have yet to change a car tire...maybe I am lucky!!...
Six yellow roses. How sweet of you.