A Typical Day At The Pearly Gates.
While doing my rounds the other day, I happened to be passing by the pearly gates and stood around for a while to watch the proceedings.
I wonder what sin Peter had committed to have gotten the job of gate keeper in heaven? While most people are taken straight to heaven or hell, some border cases end up in a long queue at the gates of heaven for a revue. It is a full time job.
First man arrives.
Peter: What did you do to deserve heaven?
1st man: I was married to a difficult woman for 55 years. It was hell.
Peter: Come in brother. Plenty of place for the likes of you. Next!
2nd man: Peter, I was married twice. Even worse.
Peter: Go to hell. This is no place here for bloody fools. Next!
3rd man: My only daughter died with me. She is here with me
Peter: What is her name?
3rd man: Penny
Peter: Go to hell. You held money to high in esteem.
4th man: My daughter also died with me. Here she is.
Peter: And what is her name?
4th man: Cherie.
Peter: Go to hell. You though too much about alcohol. Next!
5th man looking at his daughter:
Come on Fanny, let’s go. We did not come here to be insulted.
6th man: I died jumping off a building in Johannesburg.
Peter: Why did you do it?
6th Man: Two angels from heaven told me that the exhaust gases from the cars will support me floating down gently.
Peter: Come in Brother, plenty of place here for you.
Peter on the internal phone: Gabriel, find Vorster and Verwoerd, Now!
7th man: I was a tailor; a hard working and God fearing man.
Peter: Ok, come in. And who is that woman with you?
7th man: But Peter, I told you I’m a tailor. This is my scissors.
8th man: I sold used cars.
Peter: Go to hell. How did you get here in the first place? Next!
9th man: I came home unexpectedly and found the bed unmade, 2 empty glasses on the pedestals and a necktie on the floor. I rushed to the window and saw a man without a necktie walking out the building. I dropped the fridge on top of him but my foot got tangled in the wire and it took me with the fridge.
Peter: Go to hell: That was murderous intent. Next!
10th man: I took my tie off because I messed coffee on it and when I went out my shop to buy another tie, a fridge fell out of a window; right on top of me.
Peter: Come in brother, come in. That was undeserved. Next!
11th man.: I kept lonely ladies happy; can I come in?
Peter: How did you die?
11th man: Not sure. I was just sitting inside a fridge minding my own business.
I could not stay longer but this is how it goes on every day. It is a never ending flow of people. He has to eat his meals at his counter while helping the people. Peter must have done something seriously wrong to have gotten this dreadful job.
Vasbyt! Tomorrow is Friday.
Comments (31)
Hi Stringman,
No man. I'm still laughing.
I think he gave up to easy. The Bible does not say that that is a sin.
And I cannot even blame the auto correct here, Sorry!
It should read Miclee.
This cat gets around a bit. I went to see my friend Michael. He is then security man at the gate.
He let me in by the Judas door. We had some tea and cookies before I left again.
I'm glad you liked it. I am expecting some flak about one of the cracks there. We'll have to see.
Yes we do, but have you seen the size of this creature. One smack of those wings will send any cat flying as well. I can just sit there and drool. Hoping to grow large enough to eat him.
....
I have reloaded this pic several times now. cannot see it.
I happens with me some times.
You may just have a point there.
Oh no, I did not forget. Purgatory is strictly for Catholics only. It is all Protestants inn the queue for a review.
Btw. Purgatory was one of the reasons for Protestant reform. I don't know if it is still like that today but the surviving family had to pay to get the deceased through Purgatory. Apparently the family was milked for whatever they could afford.
Hmm, not a lot of people will get that one.
At last I got that pic to show. At first I though the cat was crazy and then I realized that it was a Photoshop job.
Quite so indeed but he still got a raw deal.
Am still laughing
I hope you have a wonderful day.
Don't be too sure about every in heaven being free. I hear Bill Gates is negotiating to buy the place out and who knows what it will be like once he has Windows in there. Some will pirate it and the rest will have to pay up.
Climb in now before the word gets out.
Don't buy Microsoft. Buy shares in heaven. They are much cheaper, in good supply and will exchange 2 for 1 on take over.