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Did I make a mistake, by starting to love.

I had this like girlfriend for 5 years.
She wasnt really a girlfriend, cause she only came a few days a week for 20 minutes or so for s.. and then everysingle time asked for money afterwards.

Later, well, lots of times she accussed me of being a user and that I was just using her for sex. We had huge fights.

But, ok, was using her for s.. sometimes, not all the time, and I did have feelings for her, but I played it, that I will never give my full heart to her in fear of it breaking.

We broke up eventually, then 2 months later, I saw her, and we walked back to my place.

she started talking about marriage again, I said, I cant marry you, cause you cant love.
Anyway that night, she stayed for the first time, about 5 hours.
we listened to music, watched video music, and made love.
Only this time it wasnt the same. The s.. wasnt so good for me, cause the lust was completely gone, and I was having deep feelings for her, as, I took it this time, that maybe she really wanted marriage.
It wasnt in my head, or hers, well, so I thought, that we are just going to have good s.. and we both wanted it.

but, since that night, she doesnt want to come here, she keep saying she is doing voluntary work.
when I go to her house, they say she went to the clinic or something.
but, I just know, she is covering her tracks.

that very next night, at 2AM, I saw a golf with dark windows up the road near the bushes.
I just happened to go outside, cause I was restless and needed fresh air.

The car must have seen me, as it started up, thats when I saw it.

I have a terrible feeling she was in that car, after partying.
the white car, came here once with 2 others to buy my car.
but, I declined on a very low offer.
she was with them that day, and brought these blokes to look at the car.

Is my girlfriend cheating on me, and is it because our lust, like of each other, and s.. part for 5 years, suddenly I gave my heart, which she wanted and promised not to sleep with other girls again.

Was that the mistake. Should we have just stayed s.. buddies.

Comments (11)

Whtwhb wave hmmmmmmm....

We can't go on together
With suspicious minds
And we can't build our dreams
On suspicious minds....

moping moping
Sadly, sometimes relationships are more fragile than we thought and any sea change risks destroying them.

Friend to s*xual partner can destroy a friendship.

Occasional sex partner to committed fiance can destroy everything.

Fiance to spouse can create an enemy.

Sometimes it is best (but occasionally really hard, especially with a drink or two) to just hold things at the friend you will never touch level.
I wonder why you felt less lust when the relationship became more emotionally intimate.

That was my intention, not to have sex with her when she came that night after Our break up 2 months ago.
but, then she started to take her clothes off after a few drinks and took the reigns.

I agree with 3rd paragraph. thats sounds spot on.
she might take everything now, that things are getting a bit ugly, when I start digging. and pushing about her intentions and affairs.


Its complexed. we both wanted s.. all the time, wasnt a one way thing, I proved it lots of times, when she took the reigns, when I wasnt interested at all in s..

In my mind and hers I think, lust means, a good f... if I may say.
Like in the car by the river, or on offramp of highway. where both parties only like and feel each others bodies.
lovemaking, all in the heart, seeing each other as a special human being, caressing each others bodies, not concentrating on how good it feels, if I may say.
laugh laugh wow rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing thumbs up
wht,,,,you always seem to amaze me with these stories you come up with
Do you have any stories Namaron.

or do you only know a few punch moves to get you by.
Or headbuts or whatever it is.
im learning from you,,,thats why im here,,,,to read all your truths,,,,and tribulations
Your love life seems in tatters...make a move or carry on...your inability to decide is creating your problems...jmo...
Maybe they came to steal your car rolling on the floor laughing

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