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Being 40s re: Romance

I'm single in my 40s. Has kid and live with me. Seeing my situation, sometime I hate to be single, loneliness is killing me softly. But most of the time I'm grateful being single. Marriage was giving me a chance to know the feeling of being wife. Separation is giving me chance to know my qualities, my strength and to know who I really am. I'm grateful for being single till lonelyness attack me, I start think of "looking" man again. But then I wonder, what actually I am looking for? What I need? I have enough sources to gain what people call "good life". So what then? Sex? Companion? Or what?

There is always risk to start life with new person. It's like buying something in a bag... No wonder more people stay single than those who find their second or third chance being with someone.

Some 40s are still excited to search their mrs/mr right. Will this spirit of wanting to find someone would stay till their 50s?

Comments (24)

well sis... age just a number... the most important is spirit... applause
Hi dear ,, life begin from 40 when the time person and moment correct everything will settle in a way of certain! Till enjoy your time with your kids that is what I do.teddybear teddybear
Hi sis smarta how are you today?heart wings heart wings
I am fine Zeurich, just reached home... handshake
Hi Twinkle,

I think the first thing a person needs to do is be in touch with themselves and decide how you want to spend the rest of your life. Do you like being alone more than having a loving companion? Once you decide what is best, then choose that path!

Could add a lot more to this but will wait.wave
Hi, Twinkle;
How have you been, besides being singles?moping
Well! so you attained the most romantic point of age! wow! The wonderful youth without blunder's pride....
What I need?....simply "sex" but with renewed meaning?
Don't think of life to be started...but you be started...just don't let the strangeness get died....and then the every person you interact or encounter is new...a novelty.
The idea I am promoting is as fresh and radicalized as the may attract criticism and spam.
To answer your last is the classical example....'cause the stuff in the market is as junk as my age....
guys and gals.... do you believe if I said that Twinkle42 is my twin? grin
snooty ...No!
Before going into a relationship we have demands

With these demands we can make a wall around our-slefes this wall becomes our jail

Being in jail one becomes lonely.

When your mister right is standing before try to look at him with out the demands to see him as he is

Let him see you as you are, not your demands.

Just the real you

and who knows maybe a second love....peace peace
hahahahah.... Angel..doh dancing
Hi all, I'm blogging using mobile. Forgive me if I could not mention your names...

I have been busy rebuilding my life. It's like a link, if you open www. it would say "under construction" :)

Men is easier to say about "simple sex" and fortunately my dream is not complicated about having sex, it can be also simple sex or normal sex I would say. But then we are talking about "friend with benefit". As for me, when it is called "companion" or even "good companion", sex is only 25% from the whole situation. Since I have kid in which I enjoy very much of being mother, new element is added on. We can't put aside kid's view when we come to "having companion" as he would also in touch with our kid.
Does any of you do a kinda "back street" from your kids when you think to have a companion till you are sure that your "friend" would be OK to be introduced to the kids? This question is mostly for women....
To me it was the hardest to be single in my 40ties. Your kids don't need you that much anymore so you have time to go out and do things with someone except there is not someone to do things with. Think it gets better as you grow older mainly because you know all you can get are grumpy old men/women so you make peace with being alone. laugh
Hi Jim, I absolutely agree with you. Yes, I should be able to identify what I want then I would what I should do and what would it be.... Excellent !!!:)
Smartassss.... NO! :)
It is hard being single, but I am so used to being alone that I wonder,,, how will my life be with a man againsigh
Do not ask me if it is true or not but in Jamaica the saying is life begins at 40. That makes you a toddler and you have the rest of your life before you so put on your dancing shoes.
Fly... If you advise me not to put demand to a man mean I loose my security, my fire wall, my anti virus. I could date scammer or scumbag. Yes list demand is needed not to put me into the jail of loneliness but to protecting of being cheated. I would rather than in the jail because of my demand than getting robbed :)
Val, I agree with you!! When women become so independent, we don't even know what kind of men could fit us hahaha....
are you talking about me Twin?

ngarokok bari ngopi jeung nonton bola, asa ngeunaaaaahhh pisan banana banana banana
Youre situation sounds somewhat similar to mine,,i decided personally that i wasnt gonna try too hard and make anything happen relationship wise,,if something does happen then it does,if it doesnt then it doesnt,im quite happy to carry on living like that,and i have a young son and lot of other things keeping me busy....Id rather be single and happy than in a relationship just for the sake of being in one...Tiz only my view though,,adios...dunno professor wine
Hi Twinkle wave having read the comments it appears you have been given some really good and sound advice professor
For me personally, and of course I am much older than you..I enjoy being single and finding a new lease in live.. though I did love being married and sharing my live. It is what ever you are happy with. I think it better to be on your own than with someone who you are not truly happy with.
Being happy with who you are is first and foremost then you can look to being happy with someone when the time is right.
Good luck with your search for love and happiness heart wings hug teddybear
Hi Twinkle, wave I haven't been married but I have been in (happy) long-term relationships for most of my adult life.

It is the first time that I actually don't want to meet anyone after being single for a while. I have built myself a life I enjoy very much and it will be hard to find someone who "fits" in - I was willing to built up a life with someone in the last 20 years and now I am building something up all by myself.

My life is busy and exciting at the moment and I don't want to change a thing in the next while, but I do hope that eventually there will be someone who I just want to be with. flower

Just do what feels right for you and what makes you and your kids happy. handshake
but twinkle,,,,,nobody has ever gained anything at all,,without taking a chance,,,,,,

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