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Have a GREAT Week Folks

I had a really funny joke, but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime.

I've just won 8 straight games of Paper, Scissors, Rock, against that predictable loser Edward Scissorhands.

A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue. . . .
"What happened?"
"Doctor, I don't know what to do.
Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp...."
"I have a real good medicine against that:
When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of chamomile tea and start gargling with it.
Just gargle and gargle".
2 weeks later she comes back to the doctor and looks reborn and fresh again.
"Doc, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk
I gargled with chamomile’s-tea and gargled and nothing happened.
The doc said
"You see how keeping your mouth shut helps!!!"

Lost the pub quiz last night by 1 point.
The last question was
"Where do most women have curly hair?"
Apparently the correct answer is: Africa!!

The weather is very predictable in Iraq.
It's either Sunni or Shiite.

Scientists who were against genetic engineering have managed to cross a seagull with a sheep, which is a massive ewe tern.


During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
"Michael if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell Her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said,
'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
The teacher responded by saying,
'That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman said,
'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.'
That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.
And you, Little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?
I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to 'after dinner.


Comments (3)

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laugh laugh wine wine yay
Very good, that last one just took the cakerolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

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