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What are the many ways that can kill a relationshi

Having lived happily alone for over five years, it is not easy to jump into a relationship and expect that the adjustment is short to a pathway to a hellish road sometimes.

First of all, changing this complex life is not a walk in the park. Ever. If anything any changes that we initiate requires a great deal of introspection, weighing the pros and cons, or even whether, do we really need or want it?

But falling in love and be swept by its indomitable current is another thing. We become slave of our emotions. At least to me. We seem to be vulnerable to all the pitfalls of our grand and exceptionally infatuating feelings. We lost our minds. We live second by second with not a trace of logical implementations of our actions. Explosive and euphoric state of being is more like trigger to keep the excitement going. Beautiful and remarkably unique from the banality of a simple alone life.

I think there is nothing wrong with that, after all we all deserve to experience life to the limit, no holds barred attitude. We welcome this rare and once in a lifetime adventure. But then comes the unsettling feelings of becoming enmeshed to all that you both do as a couple. Eventually our individual eccentricities and inherent characteristics surface and most of the time you feel that there is a minor sense of differences on how you both do things. Even the sleeping habits, like leaving the television, blabbing about endless negative news is so irritating if not outright annoying. And more.

Slowly but surely you feel the encroachment to your sublime aloneness. And wonder if this union after all is worth taking it to the nines? Let alone for the rest of your life? I am sure I can answer this myself with nobody's help. But I am learning, and to me sharing it is such a very enlightening journey so thank you all for your reads and contributions.

The purpose of this blog is to share and or find out what are the most irritating and annoying experience you ever experience while in the process of enjoying and or adapting to a whole new life?

Thank you all for your reads and comments and sharing this silly life..

Comments (32)


This is very complex topic to explain, well for me it is.
Why some couple met, got married, and last together till
the end? No one can't answer. Why some people lived over
a 100 years? who knows, there is no magic trick for that.dunno

BTW: sexy shirt you have on this pic.grin
Thanks Manny, I am documenting my experience on every inch of this adventure and who knows I can come up with some good points to share.

Thanks Manny and how is Florida these days? We are scheduled to come for a vacation in Orlando next month.
Right now where I live there is a wonderful rain
pouring down.

lindsy, I live about an hour from Orlando.
Hmmm maybe we can get together for a cup of coffee Manny?

That would be nice..

Sound good to coffee
I will hold you to it Manny. I attended a conference one time in Miami and shopped at Burdines and boy that was one big mall, until I saw Mall of America here in Minnesota, the biggest in the world..

See you then Manny, and how is July fourth for you? First time I miss the San Francisco show which is one of the grandest in the world, apart from the New Year Celebration of Sydney, Australia.

today July 4th, I'm taking it easy, not too much
of celebration.

hey, Orland has a big mall too, I was there once
and I got lostgrin
Thanks Manny..
Hi LJ,

I find that the simple need to think about the other's wishes and wants, instead of just your own, can be difficult in itself.

Being single is to be inherently selfish. You only have to think of you.
Whether it is planning what to eat for dinner or where to go on holidays, you don't have to consult, or think about anybody else but yourself.

Then suddenly as part of a couple, all that changes, and life becomes more complicated.

It may be better in some ways, worse in others, but definitely more complicated!!

you just pushed the real button here.
Molly my dearest darling friend. Yes indeed, in fact I do welcome 70 percent more than not on this new life opened my way. I do feel it is not that I am negative and always thinking as to why should it go any further, but like you said, wow, the pleasure of knowing is happy because of you just being you and how they care to make you happy is such a very satisfying feelings.

Thanks my friend. How are you?
Bung, I am a master button-pusher!very happy

LJ, all good here thanks. Ireland is having a nice summer generally.
Just a little warm rain today. But that just means I won't have to water the garden cheers
Don't worry Molly dear friend, it is people like you that makes us think and enlightened which is exactly what I need at the moment.

You know those skeptical moments when all you know is doubts upon layers of doubts and then comes all these ideas and it does lead you to a better perspectives?

Thanks my dear and USA us celebrating our freedom today and it is nice in the midwest although heavy storms are pounding the east coast..
Happy Fourth of July!!!wine Hope things are good there and celebrating the day...I would have to agree with molly...being single means not having to consult anyone in regards to any decisions...maybe a hard adjustment to make!!
Hello my dearest friend, I am alright and I might add getting accustomed and used to being with someone. A very new part of my life my dear and I believe I am rather getting used to it in a better way.

How are you?

Fourth of July is always a big deal here in my country and celebration is in full swing..
Hi LJ, wave all I can say, when I met someone years ago who was the one for me, there was no adjustment period. We eventually got it together and that was just it. We spend as much time together as possible and just enjoyed being together (which was rare enough as he was a workaholic).

I don't know if it helped that I was in long relationships in my 20's or if I am just getting old and fond of peace and quiet - I can't imagine that someone will just fit in my life that easy anymore. dunno

The thought of having someone hanging around the place uh oh

Well, I hope that eventually changes again. laugh I don't know if it's just the lack of interesting enough company or me getting old and solitary.
KN my beautiful friend, what I notice most that stands out very prominently is the fact that when we are together there is so much to talk about and it makes time fly and boredom is never in the horizon.

But I do miss my being so alone, and my travel all to my own.

He is still working and that is the conflict, but eventually we will be able to adjust as we are planning on going places.

I am a very difficult person to change and that is the problem KN.

But once I am settled, then I am easy to get along the way.

Thanks KN
Can't you just spend as much time together as possible but still travel when he works LJ?

I travel home to see my family fairly often and did that most of the time on my own when I was with someone (he couldn't and wouldn't have wanted to come).

Hope you will be able to do more travelling together in the future.
Yes I probably can my friend but a little uneasy, and not want to upset me but I feel how uncomfortable the tone becomes when I mention it.

Honestly that is the one thing I miss so much. When I was with my ex of 28 years, that is one thing he never questioned and or having any issues with. He worked of course and hate flying but went with me at least twice a year going anywhere I fancied.

Would have been in Australia and New Zealand and Ireland this year, but looks like on hold..

Philippines is cancelled because of the the heat in politics but I am hoping, yes we will do it together.

I am having a break from my school and I am passing time reading and blogging.

Thanks my friend
Between men and women there is no friendship possible
There is only passion enmity,worship love but
No friendship
OW.peace peace
Hi Lindsy, life can be complicated. But this doesn't mean that it always necessarily has to be. We should never fear living a new life! Good luck! wink heart wings wine
Wow Fly, that seems like the extremes. I am sorting it and learning at the moment. Enjoying the newness of it all.

Yes Calleis, I should just enjoy the ride and get lost once in a while..

The road to discovery my friend is full of surprises.

Than Calleis
To love oneslef is the beginning of a lifelong romance
Yes indeed Fly. Loving oneself is the epitome of a good love for all.

Thanks Fly
Being sucessful in a relationship is all about giving. Thinking of the other one first. When you see that happening between two people there is sucess.
Its about wanting him to Go and play golf with his old pals because he enjoys it...not being resentful because he prefers the company of someone else sometimes.
Its about showing him you want to make him happy and respecting his company by offering help him paint the fence.
Its little reminders you are thinking of him, always. How you remember to iron his shirt, make his favorite sandwiches, bake a cake. Its all about giving.
Listening, not interrupting, waiting , respecting the other.
If hes not interesting to listen to and a bore, or not so interested in listening. To you then he is never Going to be' a giving person. If you can recognise that in yourself , then niether are you...... To that person. Best leave it and not get involved.
I thInk a good relationship can only be' had with someone you are attracted enough to that you want to give to. If there is any idea that its about what you can get from the other person , the relationship will never succeed.
If hot sex is the reward for being "good" there is a flaw.
If there is submission by one party there is a flaw.
If you are the giver and not been given to ....there is a flaw.
Trick is to recognise quickly when you meet someone , and dont Go there.
Giving is not a weakness, it is a strength, its allowing yourself to be' taken advantage of that is the weakness.
A good relationship requires a good balance.
Highly intelligent women will often have a more challenging time at achieving this ideal in a relationship merely because by default the balance of nature is not being met.
And basically because there are insufficient non ego driven intelligent enough men in the world available for them.
Hi phylis how is it Going dear, long time no chatty.?
Many ways that can kill a relationship, one word, MEN professor

rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

Your wisdom is amazing my friend. I'll treasure them and use your line of thinking as it makes sense without a doubt.

Thanks my friend.
Butterfly, I'm sure men would say the same thing.
Thanks my friend
Killing a relationship? Paul Simon said it best. 50 ways to leave your lover.

"The purpose of this blog is to share and or find out what are the most irritating and annoying experience you ever experience while in the process of enjoying and or adapting to a whole new life?"

Living with someone who likes to straighten up. You put a tool you know you will need in two days near the front door so you will have it. Two days later it is gone. You ask your partner and are told, oh I put it away. You ask where. You are told she doesn't remember. OR You get a bill in the mail and put it on your desk so when you write out your checks on payday it will be handled. On payday your desk top is clean, so you don't remember the bill and the water gets cut off a week later. You confront your partner (after taking the day off from work to go to the stupid water dept. office that doesn't open until 10am) and are told, oh, I straightened up your office and put the papers I found loose in a folder in my filing cabinet in my office. Hold on while I look for them. OR my favorite. The time i went away for a week and while I was gone she 'straightened up' MY filing cabinets and filed stuff I hadn't filed yet and refiled what was filed, creating new categories for the file jackets in the process and discarding the old file folder labels. So Ameritrade letters went under A instead of Stocks, Master Card bills left credit cards and went to Master, etc. That took a decade to unravel.

Living alone. No one else does the laundry now. Cooking for self again. Only I can let the cats back in. No one wakes me anymore when I sleep through the alarm clocks. My T-shirts are no longer ironed and folded. No one to talk with but the cats.
Ken I'm still laughing so loud my stomach is churning.

Sigh. I don't regret a day of it. She was a well-intentioned saint and a story book wife and I will probably never even meet another like that.
Yeah an inability to stand messes or things being left in plain view was an annoyance, but it paled compared to everything good about that relationship.

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