What are the many ways that can kill a relationshi
by lindsyjonesunknown, California, USA
Jul 2014 624 Views 32 Comments
Having lived happily alone for over five years, it is not easy to jump into a relationship and expect that the adjustment is short to a pathway to a hellish road sometimes.
First of all, changing this complex life is not a walk in the park. Ever. If anything any changes that we initiate requires a great deal of introspection, weighing the pros and cons, or even whether, do we really need or want it?
But falling in love and be swept by its indomitable current is another thing. We become slave of our emotions. At least to me. We seem to be vulnerable to all the pitfalls of our grand and exceptionally infatuating feelings. We lost our minds. We live second by second with not a trace of logical implementations of our actions. Explosive and euphoric state of being is more like trigger to keep the excitement going. Beautiful and remarkably unique from the banality of a simple alone life.
I think there is nothing wrong with that, after all we all deserve to experience life to the limit, no holds barred attitude. We welcome this rare and once in a lifetime adventure. But then comes the unsettling feelings of becoming enmeshed to all that you both do as a couple. Eventually our individual eccentricities and inherent characteristics surface and most of the time you feel that there is a minor sense of differences on how you both do things. Even the sleeping habits, like leaving the television, blabbing about endless negative news is so irritating if not outright annoying. And more.
Slowly but surely you feel the encroachment to your sublime aloneness. And wonder if this union after all is worth taking it to the nines? Let alone for the rest of your life? I am sure I can answer this myself with nobody's help. But I am learning, and to me sharing it is such a very enlightening journey so thank you all for your reads and contributions.
The purpose of this blog is to share and or find out what are the most irritating and annoying experience you ever experience while in the process of enjoying and or adapting to a whole new life?
Thank you all for your reads and comments and sharing this silly life..
First of all, changing this complex life is not a walk in the park. Ever. If anything any changes that we initiate requires a great deal of introspection, weighing the pros and cons, or even whether, do we really need or want it?
But falling in love and be swept by its indomitable current is another thing. We become slave of our emotions. At least to me. We seem to be vulnerable to all the pitfalls of our grand and exceptionally infatuating feelings. We lost our minds. We live second by second with not a trace of logical implementations of our actions. Explosive and euphoric state of being is more like trigger to keep the excitement going. Beautiful and remarkably unique from the banality of a simple alone life.
I think there is nothing wrong with that, after all we all deserve to experience life to the limit, no holds barred attitude. We welcome this rare and once in a lifetime adventure. But then comes the unsettling feelings of becoming enmeshed to all that you both do as a couple. Eventually our individual eccentricities and inherent characteristics surface and most of the time you feel that there is a minor sense of differences on how you both do things. Even the sleeping habits, like leaving the television, blabbing about endless negative news is so irritating if not outright annoying. And more.
Slowly but surely you feel the encroachment to your sublime aloneness. And wonder if this union after all is worth taking it to the nines? Let alone for the rest of your life? I am sure I can answer this myself with nobody's help. But I am learning, and to me sharing it is such a very enlightening journey so thank you all for your reads and contributions.
The purpose of this blog is to share and or find out what are the most irritating and annoying experience you ever experience while in the process of enjoying and or adapting to a whole new life?
Thank you all for your reads and comments and sharing this silly life..
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This is very complex topic to explain, well for me it is.
Why some couple met, got married, and last together till
the end? No one can't answer. Why some people lived over
a 100 years? who knows, there is no magic trick for that.
BTW: sexy shirt you have on this pic.
Thanks Manny and how is Florida these days? We are scheduled to come for a vacation in Orlando next month.
pouring down.
lindsy, I live about an hour from Orlando.
That would be nice..
Sound good to me.
See you then Manny, and how is July fourth for you? First time I miss the San Francisco show which is one of the grandest in the world, apart from the New Year Celebration of Sydney, Australia.
today July 4th, I'm taking it easy, not too much
of celebration.
hey, Orland has a big mall too, I was there once
and I got lost
I find that the simple need to think about the other's wishes and wants, instead of just your own, can be difficult in itself.
Being single is to be inherently selfish. You only have to think of you.
Whether it is planning what to eat for dinner or where to go on holidays, you don't have to consult, or think about anybody else but yourself.
Then suddenly as part of a couple, all that changes, and life becomes more complicated.
It may be better in some ways, worse in others, but definitely more complicated!!
you just pushed the real button here.
Thanks my friend. How are you?
LJ, all good here thanks. Ireland is having a nice summer generally.
Just a little warm rain today. But that just means I won't have to water the garden
You know those skeptical moments when all you know is doubts upon layers of doubts and then comes all these ideas and it does lead you to a better perspectives?
Thanks my dear and USA us celebrating our freedom today and it is nice in the midwest although heavy storms are pounding the east coast..
Happy Fourth of July!!!
How are you?
Fourth of July is always a big deal here in my country and celebration is in full swing..
I don't know if it helped that I was in long relationships in my 20's or if I am just getting old and fond of peace and quiet - I can't imagine that someone will just fit in my life that easy anymore.
The thought of having someone hanging around the place
Well, I hope that eventually changes again.
But I do miss my being so alone, and my travel all to my own.
He is still working and that is the conflict, but eventually we will be able to adjust as we are planning on going places.
I am a very difficult person to change and that is the problem KN.
But once I am settled, then I am easy to get along the way.
Thanks KN
I travel home to see my family fairly often and did that most of the time on my own when I was with someone (he couldn't and wouldn't have wanted to come).
Hope you will be able to do more travelling together in the future.
Honestly that is the one thing I miss so much. When I was with my ex of 28 years, that is one thing he never questioned and or having any issues with. He worked of course and hate flying but went with me at least twice a year going anywhere I fancied.
Would have been in Australia and New Zealand and Ireland this year, but looks like on hold..
Philippines is cancelled because of the the heat in politics but I am hoping, yes we will do it together.
I am having a break from my school and I am passing time reading and blogging.
Thanks my friend
There is only passion enmity,worship love but
No friendship
OW.
Thanks.
The road to discovery my friend is full of surprises.
Than Calleis
OW.
Thanks Fly
Eg...
Its about wanting him to Go and play golf with his old pals because he enjoys it...not being resentful because he prefers the company of someone else sometimes.
Its about showing him you want to make him happy and respecting his company by offering help him paint the fence.
Its little reminders you are thinking of him, always. How you remember to iron his shirt, make his favorite sandwiches, bake a cake. Its all about giving.
Listening, not interrupting, waiting , respecting the other.
If hes not interesting to listen to and a bore, or not so interested in listening. To you then he is never Going to be' a giving person. If you can recognise that in yourself , then niether are you...... To that person. Best leave it and not get involved.
I thInk a good relationship can only be' had with someone you are attracted enough to that you want to give to. If there is any idea that its about what you can get from the other person , the relationship will never succeed.
If hot sex is the reward for being "good" there is a flaw.
If there is submission by one party there is a flaw.
If you are the giver and not been given to ....there is a flaw.
Trick is to recognise quickly when you meet someone , and dont Go there.
Giving is not a weakness, it is a strength, its allowing yourself to be' taken advantage of that is the weakness.
A good relationship requires a good balance.
Highly intelligent women will often have a more challenging time at achieving this ideal in a relationship merely because by default the balance of nature is not being met.
And basically because there are insufficient non ego driven intelligent enough men in the world available for them.
Hi phylis how is it Going dear, long time no chatty.?
Thanks my friend.
Thanks my friend
"The purpose of this blog is to share and or find out what are the most irritating and annoying experience you ever experience while in the process of enjoying and or adapting to a whole new life?"
Living with someone who likes to straighten up. You put a tool you know you will need in two days near the front door so you will have it. Two days later it is gone. You ask your partner and are told, oh I put it away. You ask where. You are told she doesn't remember. OR You get a bill in the mail and put it on your desk so when you write out your checks on payday it will be handled. On payday your desk top is clean, so you don't remember the bill and the water gets cut off a week later. You confront your partner (after taking the day off from work to go to the stupid water dept. office that doesn't open until 10am) and are told, oh, I straightened up your office and put the papers I found loose in a folder in my filing cabinet in my office. Hold on while I look for them. OR my favorite. The time i went away for a week and while I was gone she 'straightened up' MY filing cabinets and filed stuff I hadn't filed yet and refiled what was filed, creating new categories for the file jackets in the process and discarding the old file folder labels. So Ameritrade letters went under A instead of Stocks, Master Card bills left credit cards and went to Master, etc. That took a decade to unravel.
Living alone. No one else does the laundry now. Cooking for self again. Only I can let the cats back in. No one wakes me anymore when I sleep through the alarm clocks. My T-shirts are no longer ironed and folded. No one to talk with but the cats.
Etc.
Thanks
Yeah an inability to stand messes or things being left in plain view was an annoyance, but it paled compared to everything good about that relationship.