In a relationship, does marriage make any better?
My friend got married last month, June, the season of well planned tying of the knots. There is something special in this one though, it is her fourth marriage. As I was contemplating on her reasons, I can't help but ask myself, why would anyone wants to tie themselves in the same institution when all of those that took place ended up in bitter divorce?I myself was offered a proposal to get engaged and eventually to get married, but after two divorces, I don't think I would ever want to be married again. Specially at my age, I'd rather just get along with the flow than becoming a property of anyone's.
Question is: Why do we get married? (Raising children is no longer an issue) Apart from economic benefits, does love and or a relationship function better just because we do get married?
Thanks all for your responses.
Comments (59)
But yes, I don't get it either. I made a commitment that I will not get married again, ever. Besides changing my name just isn't easy. So thanks my friend.
I do feel that if there is so much love and so much pride in being called the Mr. And Mrs. impact, can perhaps cause me to say yes,.
Thanks Velsix.
It is a thing no married men
Knowss any thing about
QW.
Woolgathering of the Fly...
To answer your question NO" it doesn't make it any better...
infact it makes the relationship boring as for life itself being married makes you and it boring, life that is and yes i guess, that too if you know what i mean
I was 26 when i got married, how i felt afterwards was the worst feeling for the longest time ever and i would never ever risk feeling like that again...unless of course he was kevin costner, mindya, i think now thats abit of a fib, i'd gladly be that mans property
I think Ms Jones when people keep repeating their mistakes over and over again its more about feeling secure than it is anything else... besides some people are glutens for punishments
Just my thoughts but i
but nevermind, what i really meant don't matter atall...
so i shan't correct it
Will not a better and easy exit if contract wasn't in the deal?
But knowing what I am capable and what makes me happy now, I wouldn't need to be tied up, again. But I am in a very volatile moment of will or not will to that question.
Thanks Ms.
witch.
I will order a look alike of Kevin Costner comes your way..
Glad to see you my friend.
Thanks..then why do people do it for the third, fourth, even fifth and more? Like the late Elizabeth Taylor? I wonder..
Why do we get married?
There are many benefits – physical, emotional as well as spiritual.
Very important is support in various acts if the marriage is successful. Perhaps, that's why people get married.
You are asking this question in CS. Here I hope most are single. Most of us may have not very positive experience. However, there are many successful marriages, too. They did not get married two times. Or after second times, there is no need to marry.
People are getting married second, third, even forth times. Why? They might find happiness in marriage. This is not applied to every one. Everyone have different understanding and choices.
But you mentioned on the "desirability" due to your age? Meaning, does the sound become more conducive to stability maybe?
Thanks Love
I am more disagreeing on this but I will let other say what they think.
I think cultural is one thing, but being in the physical aspect, would it make me less?
i'm not meaning my marriage or any disapointments that may of followed.. but as young girls its all we ever dream of, the white dress, the big wedding and marrying Mr Right..once that dreams being fullfilled after its being dreamth for so many years.. what to say but for some of us and for sometime our dreams remain empty till we learn how to dream up new dreams for ourself
D.I.V.O.R.C.E. too is a dream come true
The truth is, according to Google, there are more divorces today than there ever was. Specially in the first and second world.
Only reason for me to get married would be kids and that is not on the agenda anymore. If it would be important for someone else, I would only ever get married once and with a pre-nup.
Unheard of prior to the beginning of this century, it is perhaps one of the strongest reasons why people do dive into it, considering all their assets are not at disadvantage and work both ways. The case of the late Anna Nicole Smith is one such a sensational story that scoped the world as to what marriage is without the power of money, between a very young woman to someone who is old enough to be a great grand dad.
Regarding me. I WAS happy being married. I believe my wife was too. Like elsewhere written, I would do it again with her in a second. So saying "why would anyone wants to tie themselves in the same institution when all of those that took place ended up in bitter divorce?" just isn't true. Some did, but millions today would never end a partnership they are happy in and which has no bitterness.
Of course marriage leads to a stronger bond between the two, but if they really decide to be together for a longer time, they will also succeed without the marriage procedure.
I think I was the only one saying anything positive and it makes me wary to see how many people have picked a very bad partner for themselves.
Even if I wasn't married I had good relationships and I think that there are very happy marriages and an outer sign of commitment is just important to some people.
My ex had built up a business himself and I wouldn't have wanted to take that away from him when things didn't work out. When things go wrong, often all decency goes out of the window and people try to hurt each other every way possible. I wouldn't want to take off someone what they built up for themselves and I am simply expecting the same and would take precautions.
In the absence of such a contract, I feel, still the effect on the course of the relationship remains the same. Why would my value diminish just because there is no binding legal papers to carry it with?
I am the same, I will remain so within that relationship married or not..
Thanks Calleis. Right now, I am more cautious and more independently inclined and I believe this builds up even a more careful conduct, just my opinion..
Love grows whether married or not just as love dies married or not.
It isn't the power of the paper that directs the conduct of two in a committed relationship. My rules on honesty and openness don't change just because I am not a marriage material.
Thanks my friend.
I think I´ll give it a miss on this one and will leave a comment with no comment.
I could actually write a book about this topic but not for tonight. Going to bed - alone, happy, without having to put up with somebody snoring and whatever by the side of me.
So sans contract, he is happy, I am happy, at the moment, then when troubles begin and out the door we go, why get married.
Perhaps, it is better to be just alone? Maybe? I am not really discrediting the fact that there are more blessings, and more thrills and excitement on being with someone my friend, and decidedly so that I will be on this relationship for a very long time if I can. It is just that the shadow of doubts come lurking like a dark and sinister weather and when that happens, then I will take cover, all alone.. then again, he can cover me up and protect me in his arms. Yes he snores, too, but well...
Love you my friend..and good night. Do write the book later..
I think marriage is about committment. I wasn't able to have children so that has never figured in the equation. For me marriage says "I'll always love you and I am giving this effort 100%". (I might find I can't live with you but that's another issue.) If the right man came along, I'd marry just as I did the first two times: without worry or reservation. I have come close to marriage several times and the ones with which I did not follow through I backed away from because of doubt. It's like an inner alarm that says "Danger Will Robinson!"
Actually, I love love and marriage. Without them, it's just existence. Like being in a holding pattern over joy and unable to find a place to set down.
Thanks Ito.
Hope you'll find what you're looking for.
Anyways, I did at one time held the sanctuary and sanctity of marriage up to my heart, head and honored it big time.
When it does come and gets swept away, I'd submit to it.
Salamat kaibigan