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In a relationship, does marriage make any better?

My friend got married last month, June, the season of well planned tying of the knots. There is something special in this one though, it is her fourth marriage. As I was contemplating on her reasons, I can't help but ask myself, why would anyone wants to tie themselves in the same institution when all of those that took place ended up in bitter divorce?

I myself was offered a proposal to get engaged and eventually to get married, but after two divorces, I don't think I would ever want to be married again. Specially at my age, I'd rather just get along with the flow than becoming a property of anyone's.

Question is: Why do we get married? (Raising children is no longer an issue) Apart from economic benefits, does love and or a relationship function better just because we do get married?

Thanks all for your responses.

Comments (65)

lindsyjones
It applies here in California or the USA, too ito. So we'll explained. So it's making no difference.

Thanks Ito.
CailinCallaghan
I'm with Ken, who looks much better without a beard, I might add. Ken, you ought try a mustache (horseshoe) and goatee. batting
lindsyjones
Garyte, thanks for your comments.

Hope you'll find what you're looking for.
lindsyjones
Kaibigan, how nice of you to visit. Been a while. Moved yet?

Anyways, I did at one time held the sanctuary and sanctity of marriage up to my heart, head and honored it big time.

When it does come and gets swept away, I'd submit to it.

Salamat kaibigan
lindsyjones
Hmm yes, he does believe in marriage. Salamat kaibigan
CailinCallaghan
Salamat!! teddybear
CailinCallaghan
No move yet. When the time is right, I leap into action. super
lindsyjones
Well good luck kaibigan and maraming Pinoy, ditto. San Francisco kaibigan
CailinCallaghan
No, no. The world is shaky enough for me without going to where it's shaking and on fire as well... laugh But thank you and best of luck to you as well. When I next move I reckon it will be to Europe: Scotland or Ire or Gallicia...
lindsyjones
Okay kaibigan, Europe is a very desirable place that's for sure.

So much to do and interesting place specially for writers
loulou77
lind
How are you?...good blog...My opinion on marriage is that it is unnecessary...but if some need to be married...so be it...I was never one to conform to organised religion and its' rituals but some may need that "piece of paper" for security...so not sure if love/relationship functions better if married...never been married...lived common-law and it is recognised here in Canada.
lindsyjones
Same here my friend so yes it's designed primarily for social recognition and all the benefits are also regarded here in my country

Thanks my dear, how are you doing?
loulou77
lind
I am good...just woke up...worked night shift last night...having my coffee now...wine
lindsyjones
I'm glad my dear, and weather here in Minnesota is like tropical, very similar to Hawaii and Queensland in the far north
Simmo1
Maybe the reasons of marriage are "old hat" now so to speak, especially if one has been married before and have been divorced.
Marriage is what each person makes of it, In my opinion, it is a public statement made by the two people concerned that says, "i have devoted my life to us being together".
By getting married it says to society that i am in love and will follow the rules that govern marriage.
And that is a more powerful statement than just living together.
Not sure if i have explained it properly.
lindsyjones
Simmons what a pleasant surprise to see you.

Thanks for your input.

Indeed, it's the declaration and announcement to the world about a love and commitment to one another that makes the initial desire to be married, I guess.

When we hot married in a civil ceremony, it was more for just him and I cementing our love, but the family and relatives claimed, unless we do it in church, we're not truly blessed and fully married, so we did it in front of so many people.

At my age, though, I feel no more need of that.

My opinion at the moment but if I'm persuaded enough and makes him happy, I'd probably consider it. Hence I've to wait three years which is always what I've done.

Thanks again
lindsyjones
Sorry for the typo.

Should have been Simmo.

Thanks again Simmo
Gentlejim
I agree with Simmo, Ken and others of like mind. Marriage is sacred and should be a total commitment on both sides! Should never be entered into lightly! In a relationship without marriage, it is too easy to walk away from it. You see it every day.

Another thing that hasn't been mentioned here. As we grow older, we get set in our ways. So we enter a marriage or relationship thinking that the other person will change or adapt to our set ways. 99% of the time that will not happen. Consequently we end up getting divorce or leaving a relationship!

One last thing I will mention is, couples sometimes grow apart because of friends, other interests or the children are now grown so nothing to hold them in the marriage.

Just my two cents worth.laugh
lindsyjones
Jim, my pleasure to see you. What a great day and weather.

Yes, it is sacred and should always be so.

But when we do fall out of love and the inevitable separation comes, it truly can make us think further on the effort of saving or working on it instead of just pick up the key and run away.
Gentlejim
Phyllis, it is always great to see you and read your blogs!wave
You are so right about the running away. I have thought back on my my marriages and have asked myself: "did I work hard enough to save them"? First one no; second one yes but my wife wanted to be a professional and I was a drag on her. So she filed.

It seems like you are seeing things a lot clearer now! Good for you!yay
lindsyjones
I'm delighted jim, and thanks always.
Hi Cailin. Thank you. hug

I did do the goatee thing 25 years or so ago. Here is a scanned photo of me back then. I just found it such a pain to keep neatly trimmed. <LoL a year or two later I let it go all Taliban, looked like Snuffy Smith if you know that comic character. Ultimately fell back onto just a mustache for 15 years. Got bored with that last month.>

Embedded image from another site
Obstinance_Works
You're not going to make two self-interested individuals into a selfless union by getting married, and I think many get married expecting perfection with their Mr Right without realising that they are from being Mrs Right(and vice-versa).

However, marriage is a way that those genuinely more altruistic express commitment and devotion to another, and marriage acts as a barrier for bailing on a relationship when things get tough. But simple co-habitation offers the perk of being an agreement easy to back out of which is of prime importance to those looking out for #1.
lindsyjones
Ken, you do look like one of those in the bureaucrats? Or the other way around. Nevertheless your opinions and detailed contribution do open such a wide venue for the mind to get lost and or confused but even more so for my enlightenment.

Thanks Ken..
lindsyjones
Obs, you have no idea how fortunate I am to always get a piece of your bright and broad mind. An avenue that seems lacking to most these days.

WE have become so lubricated by the radical thoughts of the leftist and most of the the time we can't get hold of reality due to the convincing yet fraudulent direction of those we are supposed to believe in.

Anyhow, well expressed. I gather it serves well that suit the ambition and or goal of both conservative and the radical. The former being the once committed to be the everlasting ones while the latter that of those restless and never get to the admission that what they have NOW is the real thing anyways..

Thanks again my dear Obs.

You definitely inspire me to write such thought provoking blogs if only to get your attention..

I learn a lot, I might add, which is the prime purpose of my being here..

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