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Drive-Through ATM Machines

With the growing popularity of drive-through ATMs I thought it wise to include the procedures to use such machines. As with toilets and everything else, the procedure to follow is different for males and females.laugh

We’ll start with the males. The ladies are welcome to read it as well.

*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.


Ok, then here is the female procedure. It is not recommended for men to read this in the company of women.doh
*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

Ok, so there you have it. No need to cause unnecessary delays at the ATM any more.rolling on the floor laughing

No, this is not my work. I received it from a lady friend not so long ago. Don't hunt me down, I'm just the messenger.help
cats meow cats meow

Have a great day out there.wave

Comments (60)

Angelpepper
Bob;
drinking ............
Mimi1973
Hi Bob wave

Thank god you're only the messenger!! giggle giggle giggle

Anyway, I'm only guilty of half of those! snooty snooty snooty

I'm a fairly good driver but I have to admit my handbag..tsk..tsk..tsk, it's always a mess inside there but my wallet is impeccably organized though! grin hug

Oh, one more thing, I'm very good in memorizing numbers!, especially those security codes or pin numbers! wine
Catfoot
Hi Angel
laugh doh wave
Catfoot
Hi Mimi
Highly exaggerated but very funny I thought.
hug wave
wallops1964
rolling on the floor laughing so flipping cheeky Cat!!!tongue
But have to say it does have elements of truth dunno us ladies just have so much going off in our lives we are entitled to moments like that.
What it is not saying is that..

1. The woman is having to drive over to husbands work because he FORGOT his wallet.
2. It is actually HIS card because he needs her to get some money out for him.
3. As it is HIS card she has to check for HIS PIN number.
4. Bag with make up thrown in as she hadn't time to put it on before hand ..but wants to look presentable when entering into her husbands work
5. She is still in her work clothes as she was busy baking pies for school fete+making a meal for dear old lady next door as she needs to make sure she gets 1 wholesome meal a day!
Call comes from husband who needs her down tools immediately to take wallet.
6. She has to wake 1 year old up to go with her.. Was having her morning nap!
7. Oh NO! Husband was going to fix the car window.. But forgot about it.. So lady has to get out of the car to go to machine!

What a WOMAN!!!!! angel angel angel
Gentlejim
Good one Cat....but I think you stepped in some stuff!doh
Gentlejim
Wallops, you are making excuses.rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing All of that doesn't happen in one morning.laugh laugh hug
Mimi1973
Ooohhhhh Wallops!!!! You're a SUPERSTAR!!!!!! thumbs up thumbs up

hug teddybear hug teddybear
bungallow55
Catfoot

I hope we followlaugh
Catfoot
Hi Wallops
Are you a practicing defense lawyer?
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
123butterflies
im thinking here drinking oh im drinking too to respond to this puppy rolling on the floor laughing
Catfoot
Hi Jim
I received this from a lady and she endorsed it. Besides, we have to hear all day and every day haw stupid we are. If they want to dish it out the will have to eat what is on their plate now and again as well.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
Catfoot
Wallops,
The reasons for being at the ATM has never justified the methods or the procedures.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
wallops1964
We also fit in painting our toe nails.. Eating chocolates while watching soap opera: MY we are AMAZiNG!!!! applause rolling on the floor laughing
Catfoot
Hi Bung
A don't know about following but I was the irate fella in the car behind who got the dirty look. Just because my hand slipped and accidentally jammed the horn butter for a few seconds.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
Catfoot
Ok Flutterby
Take your time thinking. Just don't do it while at the ATM.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
123butterflies
kitten scold no man tells me what to do, thus it shall be at the ATM and as men behind me honk their horns, I may just have beer or two while counting my money, and then leave slowly professor

rolling on the floor laughing
Catfoot
Wallops,
I can also multitask. For example, I can stand around, drink a brandy and talk crap; all at the same time and I do those three things exceptionally well.
laugh laugh
Catfoot
Butterfly,
This is exactly what we're talking about. You are undoing Wallops' good work and breaking her case down to nothing.
doh laugh rolling on the floor laughing
wallops1964
Butters they are honking their horns at you because they are trying to get your attention cause they think you are gorgeous shimmy
They suss out what time your going to be there and arrange their day around it heart wings yay
Catfoot
And your #7 does not hold water. In my household I'm the only thing not working.
laugh
123butterflies
well kitten if you talking about a case of beer drinking then I would definitely would recant my last post just for wallops drinking
Catfoot
There is no point in causing the delay at the ATM. It is all women in the Q behind. The men are all at work.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
123butterflies
Wallops rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing actually most honking are females confused frustrated
wallops1964
Will that do Cat.. In defence of Butters? dunno
She got confused about why they were honking confused

With that profile pics all heads will be turning cheering surely you would agreehead banger ( your nodding yes on here by the way) knew you would agree grin
Catfoot
Flutterby
Hmm, it is a case of beers. but she is a few cars behind you, wanting to draw money to buy the beer. Better hurry up or the off sales will close before she can get there.
rolling on the floor laughing doh
123butterflies
Yes totally agree kitten, men are at work where they should be, that's why theres no real men here to date rolling on the floor laughing tongue
Catfoot
Wallops
The only nodding I'd be doing here is nodding off while in the back of the Q waiting for Butterfly and you to conclude your business at the ATM.

rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
wallops1964
Butters confused you are making this case so much more difficult!! doh

They're probably honking because bless them... They too are receiving calls from their hubbies needing errand done NOW!!! But they also have to pick kids up at set times... bLESS EM!!!help think I may lose this case crying
Catfoot
Right ButterflyAnd all the real woman already have husbands. Men are not so stupid to let a good wife slip through their fingers.
laugh laugh laugh
Catfoot
Wallops,
You will have to select your witnesses more carefully. You started off with a reasonable case. Now you run the risk to be held in contempt of court.
laugh rolling on the floor laughing
Welela
Catfoot.. okay. After the women today. Thats fine by me, I do not have any energy to protest, it is way to hot!yay teddybear hug
123butterflies
Ouch kitten that one hurt rolling on the floor laughing apparently im not a real woman cuz I have no husband, now that's fuken funny rolling on the floor laughing and good women do not let stupid men leave, or slip through their fingers especially when its his money coming from the ATM.....professor

rolling on the floor laughing I love being woman yay
Catfoot
Hi Wel
After the recent cold weather we have a very pleasant sunny day. A slight breeze but very pleasant in all.
hug wave
123butterflies
Wallop im sorry I will refocus drinking promise drinking
Minerva88
Well Cat, the only thing I can say to support Wallop´s case here is that WE, Women are absolutely AMAZING!
We can multitask without losing our beauty and patience.thumbs up

Only I don´t really belong in any of the above mentioned categories as I don´t have any kids, not husband, don´t wear any make up, I know where to find my bank card and know the PIN by heart...
thumbs up head banger peace

Sometimes there maybe some people honking their horns but simply because they find me irresistable.wave lips
Catfoot
But flutterby,
You started it. You said the real men are at work. So what am I? Am I being punished for bring retired?
doh laugh rolling on the floor laughing
Catfoot
Hi Minerva,
I know my pin but not my phone number. People are amazed when I have to consult my phone to give them my number. What the heck, I never phone myself.

laugh laugh rolling on the floor laughing
Redex
cat rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing that's why I stopped driving and go into bank to get moneygrin
Minerva88
Cat. Never phoning yourself is no excuse for not knowing your number?dunno dunno dunno

Not only do I know my number, but also have to know it in several languages when being asked for it on the phone...
You see, we Women are amazing!kiss kiss kiss

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