Dear Abby...

Dear Abby

Please help me.

My father and I lived together in a flat and we had a TV and a radio. He was a widower and I was never married. In the flat just below ours, there lived a widow and her daughter. They are both beautiful and they didn’t have a TV or radio. They thus visited us a lot and I fell in love with the widow. We soon married.

Not long after, my father fell in love with the widow’s daughter and they also married.

It was about here that my problems started.

Because my father married my wife’s daughter, his wife is now my daughter and also my mother. At the same time I am also her father because I’m married to her mother. In addition, my father is now my wife’s son in law and therefore I am also his father in law because I’m married to the mother of his wife.

Then my wife gave birth to our son. This boy is also my son and the brother of my stepdaughter, because she is the daughter of my wife. The boy is also my father’s as well as my own brother in law. I am therefore my own son’s cousin and also the cousin of my daughter in law, because she is my son’s sister but also my stepmother and my aunt.

Then my father’s wife also got a boy and so that boy became my brother. My son was now the uncle of my grandchild, because he is the brother of my daughter. My wife is his great grandmother, because he is the child of her daughter. I am therefore his great grandfather. And since the great grandfather of my brother must also be my great grandfather, I am now my own great grandfather!

Dear Abby. Please, you must help me!

Who the hell am I?!

Yours truly

Johnny