The "Thunderbolt"

Something both very exciting and terrifying has happened to me over the past weekend. I got hit by the "Thunderbolt". No, I didn't get struck by lightning. Here's the story:

Utilizing my online levels of dating, I made contact with a woman, exchanged messages and phone calls, and we met for the first time on Saturday. She came to my karate class' rank testing. I don't know exactly when she entered the gym, but when I first saw her, I got hit by the "Thunderbolt".

I'll try and describe the "Thunderbolt" as best as I can. I took the term from Mario Puzo's famous novel "The Godfather". He used it to describe the Michael Corleone's intense emotions upon meeting an Italian village girl named Apollonia.

To me, the "Thunderbolt" is a cross between getting punched in the stomach and having someone gently stroke your hair. It simply takes your breath away. There's a sort of breathless shock and then an overwhelming feeling of panic like getting hit hard in the gut, but at the same time you sort of like it and you don't want it to stop. After a second you realize that unlike a punch to the stomach, you're not fighting to breathe; you're just refusing to breathe in an attempt to slow down time because you know with each passing breath precious moments are flying by you.

As I mentioned before it is a wonderful yet horrifying experience. Wonderful in the sense that it's good to feel this sort of intense positive emotion, and horrifying in the sense that I'm scared that she may never feel the same way about me. I've only had this feeling once before for a woman and it was for my soon to be ex-wife, so you can imagine that I'm feeling really conflicted right now. The Thunderbolt is not just raw s*xual energy either. It's a sense of permanence. My heart leaps at the thought of us having a future together but it simultaneously breaks at the thought of future without her. I'll do my best to take things in stride and try to make her happy while protecting myself. I guess Love is a gamble just like everything else.


THAT IS ALL