Any suggestion for my best friend?
I want to ask a question for a friend who met a guy. Well, my friend is fairly well off lady, the guy knows it. The only thing my friend worries is that he often likes to look at other good looking girls, especially at the first several months. He is not very generous when they went out dinner. But my friend is very welleducated and capable lady, so that they do have a lot of topic to talk about. My friend does have possibilities cos she can invest abroad.Right now, my friend would not contact him when he does not send her messages. Cos she thinks it is better to give the guy time to think it over, instead of being pushy.
Comments (21)
about yourself, but listen, everybody looks others men/women
so nothing new about this, you are educated/not him, look for an educated guy, maybe things could change.
I'm just sayin'
although he does contact first!
you can talk to me or Incubus your decision
I wish everyone find happiness!
From what you have mentioned in your blog, it sounds like your "friend" is not completely satisfied with this man. Sure, she loves that he is educated and they can both sit down and have intellectually stimulating conversations, but he is not "everything" she dreamed she would be with. I bring this up because you mention that she can invest in a man abroad. Perhaps the guy she is currently with fulfills most of her requirements but he is not Western? If this is the case, then she needs to determine if she can be "truly" happy with the guy she is with or not. She should not make this decision based on any external pressures. If she decides to stay with him and is not truly happy, why would she want to make both people in the relationship suffer because of that?
As far as the guy checking out other beautiful women. It is human nature...not just a man but both women and men....to look at things of beauty just a little longer. How long has this man been single? Maybe he has not been "trained" or "informed" by the woman that it makes her uncomfortable when he checks out other beautiful women. Now, if he is sitting there staring at other women while he is in front of your friend, that would be a little awkward. But, if it is just quick glances out of instincts, I think that would be somewhat normal....especially if the guy has been single for a long time. A simple mature conversation between the man and your friend should help things.
As far as the emailing part....your friend not initiating emails with him. You know, men also "test" women to see what level the woman is attracted to the man. There is really no advice I can offer here. Because, if your friend is not fully attracted to the man, I cannot say she should message him. Only she will know, based on her feeling for him, how she should handle the communication portion of this relationship.
MY 2 PENNIES
It seems like your friend has this man figured out. She is doing right in not contacting him first. The reason I say these things is that by looking at other women he is in fact advertising himself as "available to other women". It also appears that he is interested more in her money and because of that he is a cheap skate.
Tell your friend to stay in it for the friendship only and to get away if he starts pressing her "for more"!!!! But not more than that. She would be able to find someone who is also educated and a man when it comes to doing his part in a relationship.
being a friend might be a good choice. It is good to share. Sometimes if the ladies don't think it over, it can really ruin the future.
I think the reason why my friend is uneasy is also the same sort of fear that the guy wants to show he is available.
In brief, it is always good if you can take care of yourself
Regardless, the lady has expressed her interest. The man has to decide which is more fun, days and nights with the intelligent educated older woman, or days and nights spent with younger, perhaps not so bright, other women. The lady should give it a decent interval, then if the man has not followed up, she should move on to the next man however long that takes.
To everyone,to find someone you like and love, you are lucky!
Has she not asked him yet? So, there is not much trust between them. Has she at least cleared with him if he is only a good friend or if he wants to be her boyfriend?
When he looks at other women, I agree with what Johnny has said. It depends how is looking at them. If he only takes short glances this is certainly nothing serious.
Elsewise, if also his short glances at women take over, then there must be something missing on your friend what he seems to desire. But, then she shouldn't care.
I might be better looking than her. She is more capable at work! I would not say I am bad.