Part Time Lover
Hi friends, I'm in a confusion and would appreciate your opinions here.I have no desire to marry and have kids again, been there, done that...but wants someone special to share some parts of my life with. I'm not looking forward to sharing the same house with that special someone and cuddle everyday. All I want is to have a respectable relationship on part time basis, what I mean by this is that I want to have a separate life, have enough time and space for myself...spend time with that special someone whenever it's convenient for both of us, like seeing each other 3x times a week. A part time relationship but with set rules and with respect to each other. So far no one agrees with what I want.
Does what I want debase the value of a relationship?
Thanks and have a good night/day everyone!
Comments (64)
I would have thought that a good few people would be interested in that, I do think this is popular in Germany with the "older" generation.
I do like living with someone and sharing my life and want the whole shebang, but we all want something different, best of luck in finding what makes you happy.
I'm having some cappuccino here, there's a cup here for you, please come over here.
I want to have someone but he wants a "perfect relationship" . I don't think there's such thing. I'll be happy to share part of my life with him but not to totally change it for him. Now we've come to a point where I have to chose to give in to him or we go our separate ways which he is not willing to do also. I don't feel good being pressured but I don't like the feeling of losing him either.
I will take a part-time lover. BTW, wasn't there a song name "Part Time Lover." Wasn't it John Hall and Bob Hope that sang it? LOL
Yes....I have had a couple tonight. :)
Glad to know you understand what I want...
Yeah, there's that song and I like it...
Your profile states clearly the relationship you want. You could be more clear by putting the text from this blog in your profile.
If you look at women's profiles on CS, many say things very similar and STRONGLY recommend doing just this in their CS comments.
It's perfectly acceptable most places to have more than one friend. It's perfectly acceptable in many places to sleep with more than one person. You decide.
This is what you want now, and if what you want changes if the future, it changes. If it does, you can change your profile.
Some people can never say what it is that they want.
You are doing fine. Keep up the good work!
It's kinda difficult to sort things out when you and your partner want different things...But I have loyalty and honesty on my side that somehow help sort out the problems...hoping for the best here.
Have a good day there.
It is hard to walk away from someone you have feelings for, but if it leads to a life you are not happy with, move on.
If someone wants marriage and commitment and the other person doesn't in the same way, in my experience, it usually won't be going on for a lot longer.
Best of luck to you.
Hope you're having a nice day there.
With so many things going on with me, all at the same time , I'm in a dilemma.
I've tried to move on a year ago but he didn't accept it. I know how much he cares about me and did many things to make me happy so I feel guilty and somehow pressured to do my part to make the relationship work.
Few months back I simply didn't think about this complicated relationship, I do my thing and didn't let it bother me but now I've reached a point where I have to face it and make a decision...not an easy one,
Yep! Your this blog post impressed me to the extent that I add you in my favorite list so that I should have the knowledge, when you are online and it can facilitate me to follow your incoming posts.
But simultaneously I got a bit depressed to see the future of a promising hypothesis end into a pragmatic approach, to reform a relationship to work and thereby compromising the integrity of a virtue called love.
You, typically behaving like a studio scholar, are the same confused mass of protoplasm who serve well the purpose of smiling serpents. But you have the potential to stand up and come out of that vicious cycle, though the probability is one in hundred. Could you be that one?
You're one of the good ones I admire here on the blogland too...It wouldn't be complete without you and our other friends here.
Don't worry, I always come out of any vicious cycle...I'm kinda relentless when I badly want something. I have tremendous self respect, honesty and love for others that bring colors and spices in my life and guide me to where it is that I want to be.
Have a nice evening there
Please...I beg rather...please take my word truly in spirit. And I am pretty sure you would.
We claim or brag anything but life is such a wonderful laboratory which puts all and sundry, to a litmus test.
In the competitions of the world events, the results are displayed on the notice boards, sooner or later, in spite of the mighty covering up agencies.
But life, because it has to consistently maintain its mystery to keep up with its never fading glamor, never ever get the outcome of that litmus test, revealed. It comes forth, many times in the form of a person who is no less than an institution......and we say without any intention or hitch.....Oh! Beauty! Splendid!
....and once in thousand years....AN ENLIGHTENED SOUL.....and the vested interests turn it into a fiasco called religion.
I do know about the guilt having someone loving you and not reciprocating the feeling the same way. Is one person in love enough?
If you could live without him for a good length of time, it probably answers your question. I find delaying important decision doesn't make me feel good. I try to make a decision, move on and I usually can live with them.
Best of luck again.
I'm not sure that only one person in love is enough to make the relationship work..but maybe just maybe, I could give it try again but within my boundaries this time around.
Love should make us happy and everyone has to find a way how that works for them.
That's what I'm trying to do...find a way how to make it work but I'm only willing to go halfway. I really don't have the heart to make someone who's loving me that much unhappy. I feel quiet lucky but it's overwhelming and threatens my freedom and independence...the word marriage gives me goosebumps.
And this brings us to the crux of who we choose to have our relationships with. Any good long term partnership relationship involves both people yielding some control to the other. 1 Corinthians 7 calls it subjugating. Without both being willing to do this, nothing will work or last. Therefore the secret is to not use who sends the first email, or who smells or looks the best as the indicator of who your relationship should be with. Instead, ideally, we choose the one with whom a life together will require the least yielding of control simply because both of you already are in agreement about various topics before they even arise. You want it to last, you find one who thinks and believes just like you do and who has the same intersts. Many don't. Don't choose them.
Have a good one there