Will The Right One Ever Show Up?
I think most of us here are waiting for the right one to show up; some actively searching and some passively waiting; even though our profiles may indicate the opposite.
CS is not going to provide a shortcut to instant happiness. We will still have to go through the normal process of getting to know each other and discarding those that we don’t see as fit. CS will only give us more opportunities and with the increased opportunities, there will unfortunately be more failures. The main thing is to remain patient. Look things over and correspond for as long as possible before meeting. No matter how good the front, with enough conversation, the true colors will surface sooner than later.
No, don’t lower your standards if they are realistic because that is what you stand for. However, if they put you out of your league, you cannot expect other to lower their standards to accommodate you if you are not prepared to do it. To reach a compromise does not need to be an unconditional surrender. You will never find that perfect partner. He or she only exists in your imagination.
It is more important that the two of you share the same values and that you are reaching towards the same goals. The details of how to get there can be worked out along the way.
Also, remember that your new partner had a life before you came along. He/she will come to you with a history and possibly some baggage. It is very much like buying a used car. The body may have a few dents, the engine may have a knock, and there may be some things in the trunk, left by the previous owner. But all of that can be fixed. After all, you also have a past with a flaw here and there. You are not perfect either. Nobody is!
Most importantly, consider that your new partner may have the same fears that you have and maybe even one or two additional fears. You don’t know how love treated him/her before and you too may not be exactly what he/she envisaged in his/her mind.
And don’t be blind for his or her shortcomings. If there is anything that you cannot live with, break it off immediately. You cannot change the other person. On the other hand, if you decide that you can live with it, you have to close your eyes to that flaw and live with it.
So, will the right one ever come? Yes but you may only get one chance. Don't squander it.
I hope you enjoy this Friday and the weekend that comes with it!
Comments (72)
That driver looks so
Have a really great evening and a lovely weekend
Yes, it can be tough. I'm almost sure that one dates from the time before self starters. Have to use a crank handle can be physically exhausting if the engine is not in tip top condition.
Yep, they call it experience and no money can buy it.
You have a great weekend too!
Now that you mentioned 'cranking' ..... something just does not look right...
Naw, it is just you. Nothing funny here. It is a fire engine and the guy is attaching the hose to it.
Great blog
I met someone I like
We both had experience of long emailing and liking someone but being disappointed when met.
Four dates and sparks are still there
we will see
So...there is always a hope but it happens when least expected for sure
Lots of love and good luck!
thanks..
It is a rich man's hobby. We have a rather large club here in Capetown and once a month they take a drive in convoy along the N1 North. Quite a spectacle to watch!
I was divorced for 18 years before I remarried and I have been divorced for 12 years again. Too old to do it again? Not likely but I'm not sure if I have the inclination to repeat it all again.
After all, 2 women cannot be wrong, can they?
Thank you, and I'm glad you met somebody. I hope it works for you.
Thank you too and I'm pleased that I could have been of assistance. But don't take everything I say as gospel. Secretbox did it slightly different and it worked for her. You have to follow your instincts some times.
That Cape Town sight must be brilliant.
I thought it was the Mad Magazine doing a satire on the Car Magazine.
Yes it is. I have always wondered why they do it only once a month but now I know. They cannot afford the drive more often. Those cars were build at a time when petrol was 7c per liter. Fuel economy was not a factor then. Petrol now goes for R10.83 per liter; and it just went down by more than R1:00 per liter.
I left the first one and the second ran off with one of my friends. Hell, I miss him. Anyway, it did not work for them. They parted a few months later.
Very true in your writings about 'Will The Right One Ever Show Up?'
CS is a great place to meet, chat, share - as for meeting The One!???? - Here's my take on this!!!
The chances of it happening here are as good as 'anywhere' - Cos it's that One Chance Meeting - That May Change Everything / & If successful 'Changes Everything'!!!
I will add too - that besides those actively searching and some passively waiting - I would think cos 'Finding The One' Doesn't Just Happen / Doesn't Happen If At All & Doesn't Happen Easily,,,,
CS becomes a comfortable Space/Place to meet, share, be, search, wait - & also mainly a 'good time consuming Habit'!!!
Most of US, Many of US and possibly the Majority accept this Status Quo of actually becoming 'comfortably numb' to the prospect of REALLY FINDING/CONNECTING & MEETING THAT ELUSIVE VERY SPECIAL PERSON!!!
Every One remains on here for days that turn into weeks,,,then into months & possibly longer,,,these turn into years!!! - And All they do - is still continue to be on here/CS and yet NEVER meet any one of great or any consequence /// & the cycle of being On CS /Online just continues....
This becomes 'acceptable' cos everyone is doing this / caught up in this process of finding The One - which is actually a 'Process of Going Nowhere Slowly!!!'
Should this habit of being online and on CS miraculously change and Some One does find The One!! It will be such a shock; so unbelievable - that possibly the Some One will not believe that The One IS THE ONE!!? They will have doubt and question everything cos the chances of this really happen are a million to one!!!
Sadly they will not handle this well & will lose The One!!! & Then the search continues and they resume with this struggle as before - something that they know too well and are so familiar with!!! (& have become comfortable with,,,).
Of Course I get it that CS is a means to an end and if one does find The One - this is only the beginning of making a success of blending two lives together to compliment one another,,,
I end off with your wise words -
"So, will the right one ever come? Yes but you may only get one chance. Don't squander it."
& With this, Best of Luck to ALL the great friends on CS!!!
Thank you for the compliment.
There are a lot of us here not shopping and, for reasons that I don't wish to disclose, I'm one of that group.
I know of a lot of people who found their love here. People from different continents who would never met if not for CS, are now together and happy. We have lost quite a few good bloggers after they found their other halves here. I will say that CS is a success story and LDRs can work.
But it is also fact (as I mentioned in the blog) that CS is not a matchmaker. You have to do the work yourself. They only provide the opportunities. A person who cannot get it right in the real world, will not get it right here either. There is no shortcut.
Then, what am I doing here if I'm not in the market? I enjoy the blogs and chatting with all the friends I made here.
Life is all about changing, growing and mostly improving!!!
Hmm, it is all part of the learning cycle. As people communicate they both teach and learn.
Right, and what is not worth waiting for, is not worth it at all.
I'm not a perfectionist but I do expect those around me to be near perfect.