Are You Jealous?

Yes, I am jealous, though just a little and outsiders will never know it. A little jealousy is good for a relationship and it should be shown sometimes. Just to let your partner know that you still care. Methinks that the one who claims not to be jealous, is either lying or simply does not care.

However, jealousy is often confused with a monster called possessiveness. This emotion drives people to violence. When you see it - unless if you like it when your life is controlled by somebody else - run for the hills! This is the guy or doll that is going to tell you who you may not be friends with, what you may not do, who you may not talk to, where you may not go to, what you may not wear, and even when you may not laugh. In fact, this person will try to take over your entire life and smother your personality.

Quite unlike a bit of healthy jealousy that is good for a relationship, possessiveness will kill it and trap you in a cocoon of fear or frustration. This person is obsessed with you, and may easily threaten murder or suicide if you should leave. And some will be capable of it. They are sick people.

There is another related emotion called ‘envy’. This is when you are ‘jealous’ of the achievements and possessions of other people and it drives people to inferiority, dishonesty and/or nastiness. I’m not going to dwell on that today. We see enough of it every day.

So when do I get jealous? I don’t mind a bit of light flirting, I‘m a shameless flirt myself but I always try to give my girlfriend or date more attention than all the others together. I expect more or less the same from her. I think that is only reasonable.

I don’t get jealous when a guy gives a lot of attention to my girlfriend or date. I rather like the idea if she is popular. It only underlines my good taste in women. However, if he is obviously irritating her, forcing him up to her, or if she ask me to, I will tell him off very politely the first time and if he does not respond accordingly, I’ll do it again but more to the point second time around.

If I feel that my girlfriend is paying too much attention to somebody, I’ll let it sleep for a few days before I tell her so. If she was just a date, I won’t tell her anything and if it continues after a second or third date, I simply won’t date her again.

So, in my opinion, it perfectly normal to be jealous and there is nothing wrong with it. It is the other two members of the family that we must guard against.


I wish you a wonderful day.