So, You Have Been Had
I said it before and I say it again, not all women are angels and not all men are devils. The opposite is also true, not all men are saints, and not all women are demons. For every man walking around acting like a pig there is a b*tch lurking somewhere else. They deserve to end up together but sadly, it seldom works out that way.
Men, in general, cannot be blamed for the behavior of some men; just like women, in general, cannot be held accountable for the actions of some women. Men love no less intense than women. Men are hurt as easily as women are; we just don’t walk around with our hearts on our sleeves. We are too proud to show our hurt.
But, back to the point, you've been had and you are now blaming your ex for you miseries. Why not put yourself on trail to see if some of the blame can be placed on you.
So tell us, who selected this nasty, unfaithful and violent lover as a partner? Whose mistake was that? Or were you forced into it
And who allowed this nasty, unfaithful, and violent lover to abuse (or cheat) you? You again? Oops, this is getting embarrassing.
And finally, what took you so long to put a stop to it? Don’t bother to answer this. You see, people can only do to you what you allow them to do. The first time you are abused by somebody, it is a shame. The second time it is an outrage but the third time, it is utter stupidity. Or maybe you liked it, some people do.
So, unblemished as you may believe you are, you must carry the bulk of the blame. You could have prevented all of it if only you had chosen a better lover. And even after that, you had plenty of opportunity to end it before it got out of hand but you did not.
We are all in control of our own lives. Take hold of it and don’t allow false hearted lovers to control it. If you allow it, is your own fault.
A great day to you all and be in control of your own life.
Comments (57)
my former girlfriend don't want me back
cause I like to do disappearance acts
Most of men, demand from women of advantage which don't own, and on a turn.
If you found the woman of the dream, you can say goodbye to other dreams.
Yes I have been had and am still suffering for it.
And no I did not ask for it.
I think women have not reached the same level of liberation all over. What goes for one goes for both.
No, you did not ask for it. Nobody ask for it but when it comes our way (whatever life throws at us), we have to deal with. We have the option of what to allow people and what not to allow. Being naive and gullible only points back to yourself and cannot really be seen as mitigation. You have to love with your eyes open, even if it is just one eye.
But why do you still suffer? Rejoice, you are rid of him; are you?
That was the best way out. To crop up just build hatred. The easiest way out (on yourself) is to put it behind you and never to look back. Forgive those that did you short and think about them no more. Remember the lessons of the past but don't dote on the sorrows.
I did a double take on what she said.
If being abusive towards someone is showing love then I would dread to see what disliking someone would be.
I used to hear my parents say a lot that love isn't suppose to hurt.
We aren't angels with you and not gods,
Time of soul won't cure of separation …
In this life wings are sent the little,
Our shoulders are too weak for flight …
Sure, it is natural to feel some guilt but there is no need for it if you are convinced that you did the right thing at the time.
Yes I have been rejoicing to be rid of him for a long time. Every time I c one of his characteristics in another person they r rejected. Thus noone else for 22 years. I'm am not mitigating anything. I have no excuses for him or me. It is the past. A terrible past that I do not wish on anyone. I am not looking for sympathy. Men like that deserve to be hated and no he does not hold me for ransom.
Good riddance to bad rubbish. That is why I am not interested in men. You get a decent few. They r all married happily as it should be.
An interesting comment. Do I derive from that that I'm not decent? Luckily that is only (a very biased) opinion so I won't lose much sleep because of it. But I find your tendency to crack down on men disturbing. You have told us a lot about your ex husband (your view) but we don't know what he says about you (his view). Every story has two sides. Perhaps you should be less judgmental on men and look for the more pleasant things in life. It can be beautiful if you look at it without those gloomy specs.
everything in your Blog is exactly how I think too and all the women I have been with,was my own choice,it is my own mistakes and nobody else to blame.
Also I am of the opinion,that even these all women was not good for me,they can sure be good for somebody else....the matter is,that similar children play together best and to normal people that are very different from each other,can grow very quickly devils!
Rolf
I can only b judgemental of someone that give me very good reason to b so not so if u think about it logically that is.
I too had a few spots of bother with women but as you so aptly confirmed, it was my own fault. I could have prevented it if I kept my eyes open. There is no use blaming them for I created the opportunities for them.
That is what I have been doing the last few years but I sorry that I got wise so late. I could have saved myself a lot of bother.
But how do you justify this?
The way I read it, your 'decent few' exclude myself and everybody else who are single.
The more appropriate way of putting it I guess would b.
In the last 22 yrs I have found noone suitable as a partner that would fit comfortably into my life allowing for the fact that it takes a very long time for two people to get to know each other and then find the suitable attraction necessary to form an acceptable partnership.
I hope that suffice.
Not really. You said this plenty of times and I don't have a problem with that; it is your prerogative. It is the part that I lifted out of your other comment that bothers me but it is not that important. As long as the record stands that single guys are not necessarily bad.
If I had to imply that single women essentially are bad, I would have had the ladies in my head as quick as you can say six.
I think you might be confusing what you mean when you say all good men are married. Some men are single because they have been hurt... Some because mutually they decided that their relationship was no longer what they wanted.
Your heart needs to heal... You have been badly hurt. Take time out of relationships till you feel you are ready to be able to trust again as you won't find that good man till you do.
Big hugs to you
Please check my updated profile and give feedback.
R u referring to my comments on this log and being dragged to their level
Don't worry it would never happen as I have never been interested in south african guys.
Been there have the t shirt. Boring.
I can tell u a lot about their mentality as u r currently displaying for the world to c. U don't look good I'm afraid.
I don't mind the world cing me as I am.
I do not change as the pe wind blows and all know that's a lot.
Don't mind me, I'm just teasing Snooky a bit.
Regarding your second comment:
DO YOU THINK I'M CRAZY?
It is fore a professional to decide don't u agree.
Come on guys, lets not fight in the open. Let's show a united front to the world. We are not about to start a civil war.
After my second marriage failed I sort of complained (not really- just felt miserable) to my father about the way I was treated and he just pulled up his shoulders and said, You made your bed, now you can sleep in it the way it is, or remake the bed. It was good advice.
Two good people just different opinions.. We all have them...
Much nicer to be kind
but professionals need help by them self and you can not send cat there,nobody survive their pills....thats why my Son try to find out cure,lol.
Rolf
This blog was not dedicated to anybody. You know me by now. I just speak my mind.
last time I received counseling, I had the shrink on the couch talking and I was taking notes. He was never the same again.