Forrest Gump Dies

The day finally arrived.Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.



He is at the
Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the
gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the
gatekeeper.


St. Peter said,
'Well,Forrest, it is certainly good to see
you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you,
though, that the place is filling up fast, and we
have been administering an entrance examination for
everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it
before you can get into Heaven.'



Forrest responds, 'It sure is good to be
here, St. Peter, sir.
But nobody ever told me about any
entrance exam. I sure hope the test ain't too hard. Life was a big
enough test as it was.'


St. Peter continued,
'Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.



First:


What two days
of the week begin, with the letter T?



Second:


How many seconds are there in a year?


Third:


What is God's first name?


Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the
next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and
says, 'Now that you have had a chance to think the
questions over, tell me your
answers.'




Forrest replied,
'Well, the first one -- which two days in
the week begins with the letter 'T'? Shucks, that one is
easy. That would be.... Today and Tomorrow .'



The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, 'Forrest,
that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a
point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give
you credit for that answer. How about the next one?'

asked St. Peter.


'How many
seconds in a
year?



Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, 'but I thunk and thunk
about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'


Astounded, St. Peter said,
'Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in
Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?



Forrest
replied, 'Shucks, there's got to be
twelve:


January 2nd,
February 2nd, March 2nd...
'



'Hold it,
interrupts St. Peter. 'I see where you are going
with this, and I see your point, though that was not
quite what I had in mind... but I will have to give
you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the
third and final
question.




Can you tell
me God's first
name'?


'Sure,'
Forrest replied, it's Andy. '



'Andy?'

exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter. Ok, I can
understand how you came up with your answers to my
first two questions, but just how in the world did
you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?'






You are
going to love this
....






'Shucks,
that was the easiest one of all,' Forrest replied.
'I learnt it from the
song,









ANDY WALKS WITH
ME,





ANDY TALKS WITH
ME,





ANDY TELLS ME I
AM HIS OWN.'









St. Peter
opened the Pearly Gates, and said:
"Run, Forrest,
run!"




Lord, Give
me a sense of
humor,


Give
me the ability to understand a clean
joke,


To get
some humor out of
life.


And to
pass it
on.