I'm so shallow

What the hell is love, anyway? I spent the best part of a year feeling more and more affectionate towards a guy and he was more and more affectionate towards me and everything was lovely. This was it, I thought. Love! Yay! I would have quite happily gone the distance.

Then he says bye.

And I say oh, okay.

I should be devastated. I do miss him, I miss the chatting and when things happen I think hmm, must remember to tell him that tonight before I remember no more tonights. But surely I should be weeping buckets and tearing my hair out.

I do wonder if I am in denial, convinced he will realize we had too much going for us to let it go. That would be handy, because by the time it sinks in that he ain't coming back, I'll be used to his absence.

Or I am really shallow. Scary thought.
Post Comment

Comments (29)

And to be honest I'm only really asking because I'm waiting for my bed to warm up. Yes, I know it is summer. But this is Scotland, we don't do hot summer nights until at least August. So long as the bed is warm, I can live with it being empty.

frustrated yup. Shallow.
do you think you're in bad shape?

you have no idea how I feel right now, Lady
1) Denial

2) Anger

3) Bargaining

4) Depression

5) Acceptance



5 stages of grief of course.


Could be denial, could be shock, might not have been that big of a deal, you might have just been through it too many times for it to put your world on tilt again, could be anything.
Aw, Harry teddybear
CH, could you eat? Not that I want to, particularly, although my slacks sliding down this afternoon while I was walking my dog was slightly embarrassing!
Viv,

Yeah, I did eat...but I didn't gain any wait tho...

I did cry and didn't sleep for 48 hours...but when I woke up, I put on loud disco music, cleaned my house, laughed at myself for being such a weakling, I pulled myself together and told myself I'm ok and I can do anything I want and can have any man I want...I did promised myself that I will be happy...and that promise and other things important in my life kept me going...thumbs up yay yay
Does it have to be housework? blues
thanks Viv, now everytime I see a woman walking her dog I will have this embedded vision in my mind....<although my slacks sliding down this afternoon while I was walking my dog was slightly embarrassing>wow wow
Viv, rule of thumb, healing time, one month for every year together, so now is the time to heal look at the things you did correct and look at the things that you believe need some improvement. And, by the time you figure those things out you will be on the road to a new and exciting relationship......wine
Sands - I'm perfect. snooty
CH - hmmm. I'll try it. It's just housework is so depressing ... moping

Anyway, not looking for anyone else. Good grief. I said years ago I'd never bother again, then I bothered, and look what I got. A kick in the teeth.

Ooh. I think I just moved on to anger! Yay!
Bed be warm. Catch you all later. I'm off to slap and punch my pillow a bit. boxing
Oh dear Ms Lee and heres me thinking you were on top of yourself.. no words of comfort are of no use to you now, but i do hope your bed is warm and comforting for you teddybear
You did anger on Tuesday, remember.

Besides, sometimes we can do a hefty chunk of grieving as the relationship unravels. Sometimes the end of the relationship happens when we accept it's over. dunno
Hmmm Ms Lee .. if you wanna da angry and because i like you... you may barrow my heartbroken ANGRY song... sing it out loud to the top of your voice as i often used to.. honestly" but actually it does help comfort



Ps, hope you give it back when next i need it wine
VivianLee, you sound perfectly healthy to me... not eating, talking to self... laugh Actually, I mean it.

Maybe you are also comparing now with remembered teenage distress of loss? ("Oh, woe is meeeeeeeeeeee". Well, I was like that anyway... pathetic really laugh )

Increasingly, we become more accustomed to those we love departing for one reason or another, and manage such times with more grace. Also with time, we learn that life is rarely written in cement like we used to think. Anything can still yet happen. Your heart know this.

Shallow you are clearly not.
Long ago, my experience.. I who decided to break up. I really prepared mentally to lost him. I did it, then I missed all of him. I killed all my time by working. I moved on, only time healed me.
And now I am fine as I met someone else and try to be happy with him now.
It's different for everyone - and with everyone. conversing

It was so bad once that I couldn't keep down food after a while. That's when I kicked myself in the bum and made me move on. Sometimes it simply isn't a big deal. dunno

Take care of yourself Vivian. hug teddybear bouquet
Ah, these things happen.sad flower
It's always saddening and difficult to cope with when something good falls apart, but then again people dont say "Bye" without having a reason to do so.

Despite this blog suggesting it was all this fella's fault, he may also be suffering at having to do what he did and for all you know he may be the one weeping buckets whilst getting into a cold bed himself.

Regardless of what happened, am sad to read things didnt work out for the two of you.
Go on give her a ring or a ring and say you like her books when you don't and Viv it really doesn't matter if he doesn't like your books. A bit of mystery doesn't do anyone any harm. Keep them to yourself.

Good luck!hug
There's always 3 sides to every story. His side, her side, and the truth.
Viv I had a poem printed once but I had to buy the book to see it.

I thought they were joking. I can see it anytime. I wrote it!

I had a poetry prize at school but was too embarrassed to collect the prize so they said I'd copied it.

No problem. I wrote it so I'll always have it.

Keep it in your heart and for those who truly appreciate it.


comfort teddybear
Viv

Re 'how's yer father?'

I think I know where that comes from.

All my friends mother's used to say that to me and never their father and they never asked how mum was.

I went on holiday to Spain with my dad when I was 14yrs old and they called him 'Le Grand Casinova!' and 'Como esta tu papa?'

He did PUT IT ABOUT rather a lot. Where does that COME from?



roll eyes wink blushing help
Rain, haha, your father created a whole phrase, what a legacy hug
Yes and what a legend. Irish Charm is what his Solicitor told me when she summed him up. Still at it to the bitter end.

She sent me a huge email singing his praises. OMG if only they knew he was the subject of such an infamous phrase.
Interesting.

How long did it take the process in total, do you think?
Hello! you surprised me, was talking to myself laugh

Honestly hard to say. Somewhere between weeks and months. When I found I was writing for hours and hours again, totally happy and absorbed, that was the real recovery. And THAT took months, even though I was perfectly happy and cheerful in every other way. dunno
Post Comment - Let others know what you think about this Blog.

About this Blog

by VivianLee
created May 2015
1,049 Views
Last Viewed: 24 hrs ago
Last Commented: May 2016
VivianLee has 89 other Blogs

Like this Blog?

Do you like this Blog? Why not let the Author know. Click the button to like the Blog. And your like will be added. Likes are anonymous.

Feeling Creative?