I'm so shallow
What the hell is love, anyway? I spent the best part of a year feeling more and more affectionate towards a guy and he was more and more affectionate towards me and everything was lovely. This was it, I thought. Love! Yay! I would have quite happily gone the distance.Then he says bye.
And I say oh, okay.
I should be devastated. I do miss him, I miss the chatting and when things happen I think hmm, must remember to tell him that tonight before I remember no more tonights. But surely I should be weeping buckets and tearing my hair out.
I do wonder if I am in denial, convinced he will realize we had too much going for us to let it go. That would be handy, because by the time it sinks in that he ain't coming back, I'll be used to his absence.
Or I am really shallow. Scary thought.
Comments (29)
yup. Shallow.
you have no idea how I feel right now, Lady
2) Anger
3) Bargaining
4) Depression
5) Acceptance
5 stages of grief of course.
Could be denial, could be shock, might not have been that big of a deal, you might have just been through it too many times for it to put your world on tilt again, could be anything.
Yeah, I did eat...but I didn't gain any wait tho...
I did cry and didn't sleep for 48 hours...but when I woke up, I put on loud disco music, cleaned my house, laughed at myself for being such a weakling, I pulled myself together and told myself I'm ok and I can do anything I want and can have any man I want...I did promised myself that I will be happy...and that promise and other things important in my life kept me going...
Anyway, not looking for anyone else. Good grief. I said years ago I'd never bother again, then I bothered, and look what I got. A kick in the teeth.
Ooh. I think I just moved on to anger! Yay!
Besides, sometimes we can do a hefty chunk of grieving as the relationship unravels. Sometimes the end of the relationship happens when we accept it's over.
Ps, hope you give it back when next i need it
Maybe you are also comparing now with remembered teenage distress of loss? ("Oh, woe is meeeeeeeeeeee". Well, I was like that anyway... pathetic really )
Increasingly, we become more accustomed to those we love departing for one reason or another, and manage such times with more grace. Also with time, we learn that life is rarely written in cement like we used to think. Anything can still yet happen. Your heart know this.
Shallow you are clearly not.
And now I am fine as I met someone else and try to be happy with him now.
It was so bad once that I couldn't keep down food after a while. That's when I kicked myself in the bum and made me move on. Sometimes it simply isn't a big deal.
Take care of yourself Vivian.
Despite this blog suggesting it was all this fella's fault, he may also be suffering at having to do what he did and for all you know he may be the one weeping buckets whilst getting into a cold bed himself.
Regardless of what happened, am sad to read things didnt work out for the two of you.
Good luck!
I thought they were joking. I can see it anytime. I wrote it!
I had a poetry prize at school but was too embarrassed to collect the prize so they said I'd copied it.
No problem. I wrote it so I'll always have it.
Keep it in your heart and for those who truly appreciate it.
Re 'how's yer father?'
I think I know where that comes from.
All my friends mother's used to say that to me and never their father and they never asked how mum was.
I went on holiday to Spain with my dad when I was 14yrs old and they called him 'Le Grand Casinova!' and 'Como esta tu papa?'
He did PUT IT ABOUT rather a lot. Where does that COME from?
She sent me a huge email singing his praises. OMG if only they knew he was the subject of such an infamous phrase.
How long did it take the process in total, do you think?
Honestly hard to say. Somewhere between weeks and months. When I found I was writing for hours and hours again, totally happy and absorbed, that was the real recovery. And THAT took months, even though I was perfectly happy and cheerful in every other way.