You don't choose who you fall in love with

“You don’t choose who you fall in love with.”

This is a little more difficult. Why exactly do we love the people we love? Moreover, do we not have any autonomy over why we feel the way we feel? Even mere attraction boggles my mind — sometimes we’re attracted to completely different
types of “looks” and personalities.

But I believe a lot of what we find attractive and the things we fall in love with about someone, have to do with experience as well as the messages we consume. To some extent, we can control those experiences and to some extent, we can’t. We can’t because we are brought up in a particular home in a particular city or town and consume our first messages of love from there.

Don’t even get me started on the media. Beyond this however, I think we need to recognize our autonomy in terms of who we choose to spend our time with, romantically. The reality is the more time we spend with someone in that way, usually, the more we want to fall in love with them.

This is where choice comes in. Even if you don’t choose who you fall in love with, you choose who you continue to love; you choose who you’re with... #Jt
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Comments (1)

Hi JJTau wave

Yup, I chose to be no longer with the father of my kids and it's one of the best decisions I've ever made and the only regret is that I didn't make it earlier.... doh
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