NJGirl
NJGirl
Jun 2015
1,066 Views
4 Comments

How to detach from a 3 year relationship

Hi All

Most of the woman out there can relate to loosing a loved one, or I should say breaking up after many years with the same man. I recently broke up with my on again, off again boyfriend of almost 3 years.

Long story, but he is not legally divorced, has 1 son living at home with him and has many problems, to say the least. For some reason we hit it off so well and stayed together for almost 3 years, but it was a shaky ride for both of us due to his responsibilities at home and work.

He was my best friend, lover and boyfriend, travel companion, computer repair guy LOL.

I am in the process of moving out of state and taking on the responsibilities of caring for my 83 year old mother all alone. This break up came at a bad time and I thought I would have his emotional support until I moved away.

He has found another woman, also with children, and since I am moving he decided to move on quicker than I hoped.

Does anyone out there have any suggestions to help me through this most difficult time? My friends have problems of their own and can not give me much support.

This is a very stressful time for me and I am so sad when I look at our pictures together and all the traveling we did. I will try and not look at the pictures but I feel like he is just another guy in my life that has let me down. I am divorced and haven't had any success in finding a meaningful relationship that would go long term.

Any suggestions would be appreciate.

Donna
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Comments (4)

Calypso51
Calypso51●Thurgau, Switzerland
Jun 8, 2015●800 Comments
#1
Donna...wave ....any break-up is hard...and the only healer is time itself. Its tough, especially with the responsibilities you now have concerning your mother.....life brings challenges...dunno
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VivianLee
VivianLee●Livingston, Lothian, Scotland UK
Jun 8, 2015●89 Blogs●796 Comments
#2
hug Donna, none at all. One day at a time. Some days will be worse than others.

They say here in Scotland we have all weathers in one day, and in breakups that happens too. Anger, denial, nostalgia, depression and relief, it's a roller-coaster.

All you need to remember is to avoid bitter / resentful, they will cripple you. You had the day and it was fun. Upwards and onwards! cheers

(I know, you can punch me now. But I know where you're coming from)

boxing
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Nidifugous
Nidifugous●Yap, Federated States of Micronesia
Jun 8, 2015●197 Comments
#3
Hi wave NJ Transplant here. It sounds as if he wasn't quite as committed as you were. I am sorry you're hurting, truly. The best advice I can give you is to get rid of the memorabilia, put the photos away, remove them from the computer, delete his email, remove his fb from yours, etc. Stop contact completely and think about him as little as possible. The longer you hang on, the longer you will hurt. Don't look to find out what he's doing or how he's doing. Cut the chord, completely. It's hard, I know, but you'll save yourself a lot of pain. hug You can always revisit the memories in a year or two or when you've found someone new.
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Solamente
Solamente●Adeje, Tenerife, Canary Islands Spain
Jun 9, 2015●87 Blogs●1,201 Comments
#4
You should look upon this as a phase of your life that has now turned the page, you have moved on to a new life in another state to care for your mother, this is now the important aspect of your life. Look upon this as a new beginning with new opportunities and perhaps even there will be a new relationship.

Do not wallow in the past, remember fondly your time with this man, take only the good that came from the relationship so that you may apply to a new relationship all the wonderful moments you shared.
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by NJGirl
created Jun 2015
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Last Viewed: Apr 20
Last Commented: Jun 2015
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