What Do People Remember Best?

I wonder what part of a conversation is remembered best. Do people remember how you begin a conversation or how you end it? Or does it not work like that? Perhaps they remember the good part better than the bad part. Or is it the other way around?confused

Let’s assume that you need to reprimand somebody for some minor offense. Maybe it is your child, a student, or a junior at work. Do you first pay him a compliment to get him in a better receptive mood and then chew his balls? Or do you first cut him down to size and then pay him a compliment to insure that the meeting ends on a positive note? Of course, this is providing that the person took in what you said. Some people don’t listen to what you say.uh oh

And what if you cannot think of something good to say? It is easy to find a stick if you want to beat a dog but to find a brush for his coat is somewhat harder. I suppose one could make fun of it. I mean, if the person is sulking after you told him that he’s not using his head, you can always comfort him with a corny crack like telling him that for a dumb a**, he’s not really that dumb at all. It should cheer him up a bit.grin

I suppose one could argue that it may be best to start with something positive, do the unpleasant part, and then to pay another compliment but then the purpose of the meeting may be buried so deep between all the lip service that it may be missed altogether.dunno

I notice this phenomenon on the blogs as well. A large proportion of the comments deal only with the heading (often misconstrued), the first paragraph, or the last paragraph, while the body of the blog, that contains the juicy morsels, often gets very little or no attention.doh
cats meow cats meow

May you enjoy this day wherever you are.wave

Comments (37)

seagrit
Hi Catfoot,

Think everyone gets a dressing down from someone or other (some more than others!) but an old boss of mine used to say 'praise in public and berate in private'. Some people don't deal with criticism very well but if it's done in a constructive way it helps a person to grow and not keep repeating the same mistakes.

The praise bit shouldn't be overdone to save someone's feelings though, if they've cocked up they need to be told! Good day to you.
Catfoot
Hi Sea,
Thank you for your view. You're right of course. Red carpet affairs should be dealt with in the office. To be reprimanded in public is downright humiliating. Esp if it is in front of your juniorsdoh
hug wave
Seagrit and Cat,

You are both right.

When I was in management, I would always reprimand the person in private. I would always try and end on a positive note. Sometimes it is better to compliment someone on what they do right and then tell them where they can improve. I found using these 2 ways worked very well!thumbs up

May both of you have a fantastic day!yay
sands88
the only thing I remember this morning is 'Cat is back in the market again'rolling on the floor laughing cheers
BeaPatient
Cattie, I heard that you were notorious for telling your students' fortune in front of the whole class with a smile on your face. They say you did it in such a way that only you and the culprit knew who was in trouble. Is it true?::wow:
Catfoot
Hi Jim,
Thank you too for your view. We're getting somewhere.thumbs up
cheers wave
Catfoot
Hi Sands,
But remember, there are many ways to skin a cat.rolling on the floor laughing
hug wave
Catfoot
Hi Bea
I learned that in high school. I had a teacher like that (Slagos). He could demolish you without a single insult while smiling all the time. We used to look around to see who is red in the face to find out who he was talking to. You probably had him too before he retired. Remember him?
hug wave
Minerva88
Hiya.. Sometimes the conversation is irrelevant, only the person who is talking, or writing is.dunno

eg. I could be listening for hours to some gorgeous looking guy and be hypnotized by the sound of his voice or the look in his eyes, or even his lips moving that I loose complete track of the conversation.laugh

As for the blogs, usually the heading is what we pay most attention to.
Your last one for example "I´m back in the market"..
To tell you the truth, I can´t really remember the text you wrote, but I understand that you are looking for a woman again.. ah.. and also somebody French? Is that right?
Well, I am here Cat.hug
Catfoot
I Minerva
No, you are completely wrong. That blog is a satire making a mockery out of scammers. You should read it again. It really is not about me at all. It is exactly what this blog is trying to convey. People do not read the blogs properly. That point was also missed in this blog. laugh
hug wave
Hello Cat,handshake As for what I remember, I remember conversation, and blogs that get me thinking, learning something new. I always think there too much criticizing ,and dissecting in conversation, so I love to hear compliments.
I also believe a good part of having a good conversation is listening, a lot of people couldn't be bothered to hear anothers point of view.doh
Cat ,we re in the computer, texting era, the fine art of commuting and dealing with people is becoming a lost art, doh
When I was working, I had one young engineer,who AlWAYS ended a meeting ,or conversation on a bad note.He could never say anything good or positive about anything ,or anyone, You could imagine how much I spoke to him.
Oh Well, you have a Good Day,handshake
robrt787
Hi Cat,

I always try to bring the positives first.. such as a TV editing technician once edited a TV commercial, well not so well. The top Editor wanted to ring his neck.. but I asked if she would allow me to talk to him instead.

So, first I showed him everything he did right and how good his work was.. then I said, "But if you can just smooth out these little parts, then everything will be a lot better."

I did not mean to put doubt in his mind, only to encourage him to work with his positives and overcome the errors by doing so.

Soon, he was doing much better and his boss thanked me, so did he. lol laugh

So again, I like to point out or remember the positives and the good things, then try to use those positives to hopefully overcome obstacles and negatives.


Interesting blog. Have a good day.
tip hat
RainComeShine
Thank you catfoot, I hope you enjoy the day too!

laugh wink professor wave
Crazyheart38
Cat,

I'm a happy person...I love to joke and laugh...mess around just for some harmless fun...will forget about it afterwards.

When I'm quiet and serious...I bottle it up, won't let any words out as long as I can bottle them all up...but when I explode I could say words that will keep on ringing in their ears for a long time...doh
Catfoot
Hi 12121
I think it is a problem all round. If you start negative, you may put the whole meeting in reverse and if you end on a negative tone, you somehow negate the good stuff said before. You cannot always have positive talk. The problems must be addressed without mitigating too much. And what if it is only bad news on the agenda?
cheers wave
Catfoot
Hi Rob
I think the knack is to wrap the bad news in a very nice gift wrap and to try to embroid as much positiveness around it.dunno
cheers wave
Catfoot
Hi Rain
Entirely my pleasure.
hug wave
Catfoot
Hi Crazy
Don't bottle up. Kill the fires while they are small.grin
hug wave
Kittyjoy
Hi Cat.....I find most people hear only what they want to hear and the rest is lost on them...I believe its called selective hearing...or reading,.... what ever the case may be wink rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

....and yes I'm a boring old sock that actually reads each blog from top to bottom in case I miss anything blushing

Thanks for the many delightful and entertaining blogs wine
Catfoot
Hi Kitty
Thank you. I believe selective hearing is called 'East Indian Deaf'. I suspect it come from the Dutch when they still reigned Batavia. rolling on the floor laughing
hug wave
True be told it's probably the part of the conversation they contributed professor laugh rolling on the floor laughing laugh
Catfoot
Hi Z
Now that is a possibility that I did not think of. laugh
doh grin wave
Crazyheart38
Cat,

I wish I could "kill the fire while they are still small"

When I was married my husband would usually sit with me and coaxed it out of me...he would make me talk about it...he knew I could get crazy if he wait till I finally explodegrin

My BF is doing the same thing now...I guess they've come to know me wellgrin

I don't nag...evergrin
Hello Cat, wave , Back again, you mentioned having nothing but bad news on the agenda. Whenever I was involved with a bad news situation,I tried to remember a worse situation I was in, and say we ve been thru worse times, and we have the attributes to get thru this one. In a bad news conversation, drawing from previous experiences can soften any bad news scenario.
( I just hope the people being confronted by bad news, aren t the type ,who give up, and refuse to listen to any words of experience.)
Dreamcatcher99
Alright alright Catfoot, I'll admit it!

I just read the first and last line of all your blogs...drinking smoking
Calleis
Cat, I remember the compliments most. Especially those which I don't deserve.. bouquet laugh
VivianLee
The praise sandwich. I do editing, copy-editing and beta reading, always have to make the sandwich the same way.

I absolutely loved your book, such a fresh / traditional (delete whichever is not applicable) approach.

There were a couple of points .... (insert meat here)

It was an absolute pleasure to work on.

They know it's a praise sandwich. I know it's a praise sandwich. But you gotta do it.
Catfoot
Hi Crazy
Talking out and nagging are not the same. However talking about the same thing all day is a problem.grin
hug wave
Catfoot
Hi 12121
Yes, that is a good way to approach itthumbs up
hug wave
Catfoot
OK DC
Guilty as charged. You are hereby fined 50 cupcakes or 50 days solitary confinement in my bedroom house!

Next case please!
laugh rolling on the floor laughing
VivianLee
Ha, Catfoot, you've been reading up on the Kegels too. Mimi has broadened a lot of minds tonight. And focused a lot of others rolling on the floor laughing
Catfoot
Hi Calleis,
I never give compliments (except on linelaugh) when they are not deserved.
hug wave
Catfoot
Hi Viv
I won't make it in that job. I'm to used to using a red pen.laugh
doh wave
Catfoot
Viv
Sorry, saw this one too late.
Kegels? You lost me. The game or exercises? confused
hug wave
Catfoot
Viv
Sorry, saw this one too late.
Kegels? You lost me. The game or exercises? confused
hug wave
I love your blogs so much lol thats all i wanna say, they make me smile and gets me in a better mood, thanks alot @cathandshake
Catfoot
Hi Kandacy
You are most welcome and I'm glad that you enjoy them. It pleases me when my efforts are rewarded in this way.yay
hug wine
"PLAY NOW: Galagian"(meet us in the games)

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