Old jokes - TGIF!
*I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.*We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
*My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife calls it the Dead Sea.
*The Doctor called Mrs. Smith saying, "Mrs. Smith, your check came back" Mrs. Smith replied, "So did my arthritis!"
*A doctor held a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?"
The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"
*Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears."
Doctor: "Don't answer!"
*Back when I was growing up, we always had two choices for dinner - Take it or leave it.
*Q: Where does a modern husband hide money from his wife?
A: Under the vacuum cleaner.
*Why do divorces cost so much?
They're worth it.
*Why do so many men die before their wives?
They want to.
*There is a big controversy in different cultures about when life begins. In some, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from law school.
And here's how to lay down a good guilt trip:
*A man called his mother in Florida . "Mom, how are you?"
Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak."
The son asked, "Why are you so weak?"
She replied, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
The son said,"That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?"
The mother answered, "Because, I didn't want my mouth to be full in case you should call."
I think I've managed to offend nearly everyone have a great Friday
Comments (12)
Happy Friday Viv, can't wait for the weekend.
Since I'm such a terrible + miserable + horrible cook, my kids, especially my 16 year-old boy, complains all the time about my cooking.
He likened eating my cooking to that of the contestants on the US reality show, 'Fear Factor'
Take It OR Leave It....I tell him all the time
Gold star and top of the class
Yup, wayyyyyyy past your bedtime, Viv.
Bidding you good night
My Friday has started and so are my list of house chores!