Dating When Older Than Sixty

When we were young, we paid a lot of attention to our looks in preparation for a date. Now that we’ve grown older (and hopefully wiser), we spend less time grooming ourselves. Having the right gear and equipment to go on a date is far more important now. Preparation is centered mainly on looking healthy and vibrant.

But before we get to the equipment, just a few preparation tips. If you suffer from diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure or something similar that requites chronic medication, be sure to take it before you leave. Empty your bladder too so you don’t have to run to the toilet the moment you get there. And never admit to being on medication or any supplementary vitamins. Women don’t like sickly men.

The first and most important piece of equipment is a good sturdy walking stick; preferably the type with a hook at the top, like a shepherd’s staff. This can be very handy to haul her in when you get tired of chasing her around the kitchen table. It is an indispensable aid if she does not live on the ground floor while it can be used to retrieve objects like stockings from the floor without bending down. It requires a bit of practice but you will soon get the knack of it.

The next is a good quality toupee of the kind that sits firm, but it must be easily removable. Many older women find baldheads attractive. With the limited opportunities that you may experience at this age, it is prudent to cover all your bases.

A fold-up drinking glass is something often overlooked. A small slim job that can easily be slipped into your pocket will be perfect. You never know if you’re going to sleep over. Just make sure that it is wide enough to accommodate your dentures.

Do not forget a spare set of batteries for your pacemaker. Lovemaking can be very exciting and your pacemaker’s batteries will run down much faster. And while on the topic of batteries, make sure that the battery in your hearing aid is good and strong. Women don’t like to repeat themselves.

And then the Viagra. Take enough for seconds and thirds. You don’t want to fade before she fades. You can use the fold-up glass to administer your dosage, but take care when swallowing the Viagra tablets. It has a terrible side effect; if you swallow it slowly, you may suffer from a stiff neck and only vigorous rubbing will cure it.

Ok, that is the most important. There may be a few other things to make dating a smoother experience, but this will do for now. Of course, if you know of a few other nifty tricks, let me know about it. Your input will be treated in the strictest of confidentiality.


Have a bumper of a day. Don’t allow small things to upset your day.