Tickets To Heaven!!

What will be next? A man and his wife were arrested in Florida for selling faked tickets to heaven to hundreds of people. They sold wood tablets (spray painted gold) on the street for $99.99 per ticket, told their patrons the tickets were made from solid gold and each ticket reserved the buyer a spot in heaven.shock

Apparently selling tickets to heaven is not against the law, but claiming that it was solid gold is.doh

In his police statement, the man said:
I don’t care what the police say. The tickets are solid gold… it ain’t cut up two by fours I spray painted gold. And it was Jesus who give them to me behind the KFC and said to sell them so I could get me some money to go to outer space. I met an alien named Stevie who said if I got the cash together he’d take me and my wife on his flying saucer to his planet that’s made entirely of crack cocaine. You can smoke all the crack cocaine there you want… totally free. So, try to send an innocent man to jail and see what happens. You should arrest Jesus because he’s the one that gave me the golden tickets and said to sell them. I’m willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up… uh oh

His wife said in her police statement:
We just wanted to leave earth and go to space and smoke rock cocaine. I didn’t do nothing. Tito sold the golden tickets to heaven. I just watched.innocent

The police confiscated over $10,000 in cash, five crack pipes, and a baby alligator.wow

Is this for real? Who buys wood thinking it is gold?confused
Post Comment

Comments (64)

This is sad and why I do not follow a religious path it just shows you that people are ignorant and selfish for the most part.
And why a baby alligator? lol this is the most confusing part of the story rolling on the floor laughing
Well as "a Euro Millionaire" I would want to invest in this lightweight gold, Cat is it Hallmarked? rolling on the floor laughing

The aligator was for lunch I think, maybe it too smoked crack?dunno
Cat

I live in Florida but haven't heard thislaugh so Jesus came

behind a KFC? they were high alreadylaugh

but listen to this one a woman from another state spent an hour eating at a local restaurant/she was arrested when she refused to pay the bill/she said to the reastaurant manager/God is coming to pay for what I just atewow
Hi Shaken
Beats me.dunno
But maybe Lan got it spot on.laugh
cheers wave
funny story and yes what a baby alligator doing there? as cheerleader ? cheering

hi love wave
Hi Amor yes strange story indeed, it why drugs are so NOOOOOO good for anyone, why do they do it!hug
Hi Lan
You may be right. Smoke meat is smoked meat.
laugh rolling on the floor laughing
rolling on the floor laughing stop it Cat lol
ow my poor head!!
Hi Harry,
When I read it last night, I remembered it was in your territory. I did not want to 'poach' your news so I waited for your blog. I thought you might have gotten the story. I think it happened last week. I was very relieved to see you blogging about the Beatles.
laugh rolling on the floor laughing
See this is what a blog is all about, fun, banter, laughter. and GOOD POSITIVE reactions that make us feel glad, and that reinforce friendship cheers

They had to be. Heaven is high.laugh
cheers wave
Cat my prayer tonight.rolling on the floor laughing laugh

Jesus, how come I don't have bragging rights for a wooden ticket to heaven. It's sooooo not fair but so be it.grin rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing doh
Lan,
Croc meat ain't bad. It taste very much like pork.

Embedded image from another site
Hi Amorn
One cannot live on drugs only. Sometimes you need something solid in the stomach.laugh
hug wave
Hi Usha,
I can organize you a ticket at US$99.99 plus shipping and a small admin fee.
laugh rolling on the floor laughing

Such pity all don't see it that way.
Hi Catfoot wave

Croc's meat is supposedly good for those asthmatic sufferers.

Regular eating of croc's meat can cure asthma thumbs up
Hi Z
Chairman of the standards committee?wow

What kind of standards.laugh
doh dunno wave
Something solid in my stomach, but baby alligator either... laugh
One has to assume he saw the job as "Keeping his end up rolling on the floor laughing "
Zman wave

I bet he looked really good wearing that orange bra, huh? uh oh doh

And those 2 prostitues were at least 45 years his junior?!? barf
Brilliant !!!! wow wow wow

Zman wine wave I
DC
I had it a few times but it is not available commercially here. I have never suffered from asthma though.
laugh wave
Amorn,
I was under the impression that crocs are protected in Florida. Harry will know better.
hug wave
Z
Well, he seems to cope with that in an admirable way. I'm envious of him.

rolling on the floor laughing doh wave
Croc's meat is readily available in a lot of Chinese eateries/restaurants in China.

It's a common sight in some of the local wet markets there and even in some supermarkets too!

Never had it before but I heard from friends that it's good dunno
But he was a moron to get himself set up like that. I suppose he did a course on the Internet.
laugh rolling on the floor laughing
laugh I bet his internet history would make interesting reading uh oh wow doh
Well Zman, they can both share the orange bra, I guess? wink
Oooohhhhhhh Catfoot, then you'd be loved by the Chinese!!! love smitten love smitten love smitten

They believe that anything that has its back faces the sky can be eaten doh
Well, DC
As long as it is not a rat, mouse, a dog or a cat. Won't bother eating birds smaller than a pigeon either.
laugh doh wave
Z
That is the norm. Do what I say, not what I do.
doh frustrated

than what should I say?
frustrated very mad
rolling on the floor laughing ermmm,, any tickets available on the black market?rolling on the floor laughing
When my grandma's eldest sister was a teenager, she was suffering from an ailment, I really can't recall what it was...anyway, she had to consume day-old white mice. Those mice still had their eyes closed.... Yikessssssss!! uh oh barf
Hi Luke,
I can organize you a ticket at US$99.99 plus shipping and a small admin fee (say US$200).
laugh handshake wave
Sounds like a way to turn an unwanted pregnancy into a few bucks.

Why settle for just some stem cells if you can eat the whole thing?

laugh
Ken

Right until now while we are talking, people are still consuming all these nonsense, especially in China where aborted foetuses are aplenty due to the one child policy and also the gender selection practice! doh
OMG! Ken, is that you!?
laugh rolling on the floor laughing
cat
Sounds like Rob Ford the former mayor of Toronto could have been the one they met at the KFC...lol...wouldn't be surprised...crack makes you wack...laugh roll eyes
Post Comment - Let others know what you think about this Blog.
Meet the Author of this Blog
Catfoot

Catfoot

Around here, Western Cape, South Africa

I know I cannot always have what I want, but that does not make me want it less. Otherwise I’m easy to please, flexible, accommodating and forgiving. I cool down as fast what I get cross. I hate it when people lie to me. I’m hooked to my laptop, but [read more]

About this Blog

created Jul 2015
2,661 Views
Last Viewed: 18 hrs ago
Last Commented: Jul 2015
Catfoot has 616 other Blogs

Like this Blog?

Do you like this Blog? Why not let the Author know. Click the button to like the Blog. And your like will be added. Likes are anonymous.

Feeling Creative?