Reasons not to get married
Here's a couple, not young (knocking 60) in a really good relationship. One was very happily married, then widowed, and believes marriage is important. One was unhappily married and is still smarting after a stinging divorce, so marriage is not an option.It is becoming an issue. I'm hoping you lot can provide some really good stuff person B (I am not going to say he or she) can use to avoid being frog-marched to the altar yet still keep what really is a good relationship on an even keel.
Oh, and the first comment or two will be mine. It's what I do.
Comments (54)
You never know. You may need this blog yourself one day when your new and lovely partner starts getting a little sulky about the NOT going-to-the-chapel thing. There could be as many as 5 really good points to trot out ...
Sure, the one who loves you will never leave you because even if there are 100 reasons to give up, they will find 1 reason to hold on. But proving that without the commitment of marriage?
Person B needs to change Person A's point of view, not their living arrangements
Perhaps a pre-nuptial agreement?
Perhaps the Person who wants to get married should ask "if I was dying, would you marry me?" that actually worked for a couple I know. It got the Reluctant One to do a lot of soul searching! They've been happily married now for a long time.
They could move next door to each other. Perhaps the Reluctant One might start to question the point of paying for two places?
Perhaps the Reluctant One needs to be asked if he/she could live happily and contentedly without the other.
Very interesting conundrum!
Or claim you've been sleeping with her sister. Surely kicking any wedding talk right into touch.
I have found that the main factor in any relationship (that can be avoided tho)is familiarity. The way to go then, is to have a 2 or three month break away from each other every year.
In any case I would think that a great relationship would not pressurize either party to do what he/she isn't comfortable with.JMO
I have found that the main factor in any relationship (that can be avoided tho)is familiarity. The way to go then, is to have a 2 or three month break away from each other every year.
In any case I would think that a great relationship would not pressurize either party to do what he/she isn't comfortable with.JMO
interesting that you decided it had to be the female wanting marriage.
The issue isn't causing a breakup but it is causing a little tension, and the tension isn't going away. I know some couples are completely happy taking things day by day and others feel if it is REAL why not marry? The one who feels the most strongly about their point usually wins, but it can be a hollow victory. Or end things altogether.
I'll be back with coffee later to play on the blogs and hopefully be impressed as all get-out with your answers.
Not so formal as to frighten off the unwilling partner, but enough to satisfy the other partner?
it's happened to me with one.
I will not say "in relationship", but real close friend.
we like each other... sometimes we say "love".
we talked many things and feel comfortable...
but when I found that he is not marrriage oriented whilst I am..
I stop to let this feeling farer toward him, and keep as a friend only.
I know no solution for such a problem.
But in my view i believe the one who wants to get married should be the one to back off a tad.
Yes they believe marriage is a great and honourable thing (and i believe it still can be).
However,,the one who has suffered the hurt of the broken marriage is probably the most fragile regarding this matter,and based on that reason i reckon theyre wishes hold a little bit more value.
They should be mature enough to reach a compromise,which is necessary here.
It sounds like they potentially have a great relationship in the making,,would be a shame to spoil it with the pressure of marriage vows..
Theyres nothing to stop them getting married a little further down the track...Perhaps.
Then the following day ask her to go with him to the cooker again.
She'll say 'No, are you mad..I got burned last time I did that!'.
He can then say, 'now you understand '.
Hmmm ..
i'v not read any comments here, but why not just say I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED?