Death
In the last 6 months, there were 4 death of friends. One was murdered, one killed herself, one was sick, and the last one had a motorbike accident.The man who died in an accident was divorced, and his wife has remarried but separated now. Her husband left her, and now live with another woman, but they're not divorced yet.
The motorbike my friend rode, has a sticker "666", that was his ex wife nickname "sweet 666". He died still wearing his wedding ring. My friend said he used to say "I love you till the day I die" to her. Only then she realized it was not just words.
My grandma and grandpa, for as long as I remember, never sleep in the same room. The day he died, my grandma found their photo taken when they were still in school, below his pillow. Since then my grandma put that photo under her pillow until she died.
My mom and dad never, for as long as I remember, also never sleep in the same room. They argued almost every day. I remember one night, my dad came into my room, waking me up saying "If I ever leave the house, know that it does not mean I don't love you. And please remember me, your dad even if I am not here anymore". And they remain sleeping in their own room until he died. When we cleaned up his room, we found many of my mom's photos kept in a box, my mom finding that. Now she keeps a box of those photos along with my dad's. And she talks fondly of him now.
Maybe it takes death to realize how much you love someone, or to put it another way you don't know how much you love someone until he/she's gone. But wont it be too late, to wait for his/her death, or when he/she's gone? Why not telling them while you can? Show them you love them, before it's too late.
It's too late for me.
Comments (15)
Every story in your blog post touches deeply, and brought tears to my eyes.
You are so right, Sarasvathy, there is no time like the present to be aware of life and of those around us that we cherish!
Even so, I can't help feeling it is never too late to acknowledge our love, and while you hurt to think it's to late for you to tell someone you love(d) them, I can't help thinking that (as silly as this might sound to some) they already know, because you know!
Sometimes I also wonder why we wait until it's to late to tell someone before it is too late.
I raise my kids without their father but one thing I will make sure, my kids will feel love at home.
Yes, it is respect (at the very least), mutual care and love that are the glue that hold people, family and communities together much more than marriage (as an institution) or family as a "unit" regardless of problems within.
A salute to loving parents around the world!
That is the reality of love, it is a perception, a choice and a decision. Sure we get 'feelings' or infactuation with others, we desire different to what we have, but it is only choice to either remain and love, or to divorce and hate that is the difference.
Relationships are complicated. Remorse is often what accompanies death, but as you said, then it is too late.
Human being must decide what they will do, and no matter what, change in another will always happen as we grown older and change.
But it is our decision to love that can remain strong and binding us to others.
All of us will one day die. This is reality. There is no avoiding this, and sometimes it helps to remember this so that we remember what really is important in life.
I have not yet met a dying person who ever said to me that they wished they worked more, or bought a bigger house, or had more holidays. I have heard many say that they wished they spent more time with their family, friends and relationships.
That is real perspective that unfortunately most do not come to until, as you say, it is too late.
But for us who are not yet there, we can learn now, change now, and begin a new perspective now. We can choose to love now, to accept others now, and to live now.
We just have to decide to do it. That's the real challenge and real choice we must make....
I know every time I have been in love (not often) if he had died while we were still in love, I would have loved him to the day I died, no-one ever taking his place. Yet when we break up, back comes my bounce!
Halv, I guess we don't stop loving someone just because when we are not with him/her anymore. Relationship is not just about love, it takes more than that.
It really is excellent that you have been able to achieve this with the fathers of your children, Sarasvathy!
When I was still married, I always said "I love you" every morning and before sleep to my husband. I could not hide my feeling when I feel love to someone but the problem I am not easy to fall in love..
I can say I love you to my friends as caring.. But I am very be careful when saying that to a guy.. I need time to realize that I fall in love with him... Can be months or even years...