In The Dog Box Again

I like children but only if they have good manners. Last Sunday I put my foot into it again. I should rather have put it in my mouth.help

My sister’s daughter and her husband relocated to Gauteng recently and, not to disrupt the children (aged nine and ten), they decided to leave them with their grandmother (my sister) until the end of the school year. For some reason my niece and her husband believe that good manners start and end with ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ while ignoring minor details like respect for adults and especially older people.frustrated

My father (88) asked the boy (9) to fetch a glass of water. He decided to ignore my father. When my father asked him a second time he laughed at my father, stuck his tongue out and walked out the house onto the veranda. That was when this Catfoot lost his cool and told him that I have peace about the way he talks to his own father but he is not going to treat my father, who is his great-grandfather, like that.very mad

Of course, he complained about it to his father when he called later in the evening, and it turned into an unpleasant exchange of words with his father. I have never reacted well to threats and told him to take a few days off from work to download and install some good manners in his children. My father and my brother-in-law think I deserve a medal, but my sister is not too happy with me. As I said, I like children but only if they have good manners.thumbs up
cats meow cats meow

A wonderful day to you all.wave

Comments (52)

teenameena
hi handsomekiss my darlinglips bouquet
Dreamcatcher99
Oooohhhhhh Catfoot, I can just so relate to this!

I agree, it's more than your usual 'P's and 'Q's.

When my kids were younger, I never allow them to join into adult's conversation. I'd tell them very sternly, when the adults are talking, DO NOT sit/remain in the same room and listen to their conversation unless being told to. scold scold scold

We had help until the kids entered primary school. Sue, the helper would do most of the house chores. One fine afternoon, I overheard my son who was only 5 years-old then, demanded water to be brought to him while he was watching the telly. Sue immediately stood up but I stopped her. Instead, I turned to my son, gave him my infamous murderous look and requested him to fetch the glass of water himself very mad very mad mumbling

Too many other incidents but as a stay-at-home mom, I managed to rectify a lot of 'ghastly situations' uh oh grin

Oh! One more thing, kid's behaviour is a reflection of their upbringing. The Chinese has this saying when any kids misbehaved, "The home never teaches" ( loosely translated from Cantonese ) meaning, good manners begin at home or something to that effect! cool
Catfoot
Hi Teena,
I demand to know who this secret beau is or else...
laugh rolling on the floor laughing
Catfoot
Hi DC
That is exactly what I'm talking about. These little brats will sit in adult company, chip into the conversation and even try to correct adults when they talk. Or they will turn the TV so loud that we cannot hear each other; this while the have a TV in their bedroom.frustrated

And my sister is too scared to open her mouth lest they go sulking and complaining to their parents.crying

It was about time somebody told them they have no manners. I was invited there for supper tonight but I have not heard from my sister since my chatty watty with their father and I don't even know if I'm still welcome.mumbling
hug wave
teenameena
oh darling...kiss hug who can it be my heart's dearest....it is you my sweetheartlips bouquet wink blushing
Catfoot
HiTeena,
Ah, it better be so. I was all up in arms, packing my suicase to come and sort this matter. I was not going to take prisoners, believe me.
laugh hug wave
Calleis
Cat, with children one has to relax. sleep If the parents live the good manners for them they will learn them automatically, otherwise no lesson else will teach them.
If one stays polite infront of them, they will also develop this behavior, maybe in a later time.wow love
Catfoot
Hi Calleis,
I hear what you say but they are not going to treat my father with such disrespect until such time. Neither my sister nor I treat him like that and and they won't either.
hug wave
Love_stick
You sound like you are well rooted in the 19th century, children should be heard and not seen and all that. 'Respect for adults and especially older people'? Respect is a two way street, although clearly you will never recognise that. Let's hope to God that attitudes like yours die out quickly.
Calleis
Cat, respect will always stay an important fact for us humans. What I meant was that the kids surely had been viewing grown-ups acting the same way. Unfortunately this happens alot. frustrated wine
luckyman1970
Like the old saying, spare the rod and ruin the child. uh oh
Catfoot
Hi Lovestick.
No, it will not die out. But if you believe that respect to adults is an outlived concept, you are welcome to your view. Your comment explains a lot.
cheers wave
Catfoot
Calleis
Quite so. And it also explains the lack of respect some people displays on the blogs.
hug wave
Pieceacake
Hi Cat. wave I don't blame you getting angry. I would be furious if a child was that disrespectful to my parents.
If children misbehave in my home, I will first look to the parents to correct them and if that does not work, I will make it very clear that it is my home and my rules. I don't care if they run to their parents complaining. At least they get the message.
I have been a child minder in the past and the parents have been very impressed with how their children have responded to being taught respect. Shame that they can't do it themselves.
Catfoot
Hi Luckyman,
I have this notion that if you discipline and bend your child in the right direction while still small, the rod becomes unnecessary. You have six or seven years to form the child and from there you're in for a torrid time if you failed the first part.
cheers wave
Catfoot
Hi Piece,
The sad thing here is that Calleis is correct in her assumption. My niece married into an family with slightly different values than what we have. I have seen one or two arguments (and heard of a few more) between their father and his parents. It's mindboggling.
hug wave
I agree with what you did Cat!thumbs up

The bible says in Proverbs 22:6

"Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it."

We see it every day where children have their way and turn out to be "bad characters" down the line! JMO
candykisses46
wave Hi Cat I fully agree with you regarding the manners and respect of the children of today. I am just grateful that my children are grownup and live healthy and respectful lives. If my children had to be going to school with the new laws of removing corporal punishment,I am afraid to say they would not be able to respect others,let alone their grandparents.My children have instilled and stick by their way of being brought up and am proud to say my grandchildren are a pleasure to have around.Then we wonder why there is all the pregnancies and drug abuse going on in the schools,with the parents turning a cheek. Hope you are wellbouquet
Ccincy
When my son was between 2 and 3 years old he knew enough to say Please and Thank You to anyone whether it be family members or not.

I guess he figured since his late father and I used the words it was the polite thing to do.
Pieceacake
Yes Cat, fully agree. As you and cal have said, it is the behaviour of parents that the children pick up on. Also, I find that a lot of parents today, seem to feel that it is up to the schools etc, to teach their kids how to behave. They don't seem to realise, that it is their job to raise their children and not someone else's. Yet, they are very quick to run to other parents complaining when their little darling has been bullied by another. They simply cannot see that they are training their own offspring in exactly the same way.dunno
Ccincy
Catfoot Around here, Cape Town South Africa
27 minutes ago
Calleis
Quite so. And it also explains the lack of respect some people displays on the blogs.




Gee how did I miss this above.

I show respect for people in the blogs up until they give me a reason not to.Then I stay clear of them.


How this went from the two children to the blogs I'll never know.
Catfoot
Hi Jim
A true piece of wisdom. I have retained the values that my parents taught me and I have passed it on to my children. Well, I probably failed somewhere because my children did not pass all of it onto their children.

But then my parents did not instruct me to pass it on to my children; I just did it because I thought it was the right thing. I wonder where I went wrong. Or maybe I just did not keep up with times, but I'd rather be old-fashioned before giving up the values that I was brought up with.
cheers wave
Hi Cat,

My grandparents, my parents set the example for me. I taught my children respect for others and to this day they have held onto those values. I have 7 grandchildren and they are all very respectful to their parents and grandparents!

I agree with Pieceacake's comment that to many parents leave the child rearing to the schools. WHAT A TERRIBLE MISTAKE!scold

Good blog.
Catfoot
Hi Candy,
I agree and have been lucky enough not to have been disappointed with my children. My grandson(18) is a little spoiled but still a pleasure to have around.
hug wave
candykisses46
wave pac I fully agree that it is not up to the teachers or school to discipline the children,but when you as a parent have strict rules and regulations at home and the school has removed the corporal punishment,which never harmed anyone,then you have a double standard playing out.Not that I have had that happen,but hear a lot of parents complaining about when the reports come home. They are gobsmacked to get a report of blatant rudeness and misbehaviour that had taken place at school.Now had I been the teacher I would be up in arms as they the teachers cant do anything and just have to take the flack.as the saying goes show me your friends and I will know who you are. The same goes for the parents.
Catfoot
Hi CC,
Now you touched something else. It is amazing how often I have to hear a parent having to tell their offspring to say 'thank you' after receiving something from somebody. Things like that came automatic when I was a child.
hug wave
Catfoot
Hi Piece,
You said it all. I know of two cases where preschool children were sent home not to return because of their bad manners and in one case the mother actually commented that she expected the preschool teacher to teach her child decent manners because she does not have the time or the patience.
doh hug wave
Catfoot

Easy to explain this one CC,

Unprovoked rude comments much more than likely started with childhood.
hug wave
Catfoot
Hi Jim
You are blessed indeed to have 7 grandchildren. I only have one grandson(18) and one granddaughter(1) and there will be no more.sigh
cheers wave
candykisses46
wave Cat My one grandson who is 23 is in the British army and is on some or other mission in Greece as we speak. I was very surprised that he joined up with the British army,but my daughter says had he not been brought up with discipline within the home he would not have been able to take instructions,which thinking about it is so true. He has a high rank and is well liked,so I am very proud. hug
hi catfoot, i love children too, but well mannered ones as well, you did the right thing in that situation, cause nobody i mean NOBODY whether young or old is gonna disrespect my father in my presence! they need to be taught manners but their parents!doh its so sad how some of my generation is growing up, it really grinds my gearsvery mad
Catfoot
Hi Candy,
Wow, what is happening in Greece that requires the presence of the British army? I must really catch up with the news.help
hug wave
Willow3939
Cat,
I totally agree with you. It is essential to teach children manners and respect. If they are not taught these things they grow up selfish and self-centered thinking the world revolves around them. I would be mortified if my children spoke to anyone with disrespect. I have seen a lot of disrespectful young people and I am shocked every time I see it. Why did the parents not teach them the proper way to behave? Why are there so many rude disrespectful people in this world?
candykisses46
dunno Cat waiting for my daughter in U.K. to inform us or my son in law in Australia.But if and when I know I will drop a hint.hug
Catfoot
Hi Kandacy,
I don't regret shutting him up but I did expect a little more support from my sister. Actually, I feel that as she is in charge of the lad at the present, she should have cut his wire before it became my plight.
hug wave
Catfoot
Anyway, before the debacle, my sister invited for supper tonight. I think I will mosey across and see how the vibes are today. She had two days to reflect on what happened.
wave
Catfoot
Hi Candy,
Thanks, I'm really inquisitive now.
hug wave
Catfoot
hi Willow,
Apparently some people think respect is an out-lived pre-20th century concept that no longer have a place in modern society. Thankfully they appear to be in the minority.
doh wave
usha123
Cat, I don't think you did wrong. I love children.

But I think some people have to deal with worse.laugh doh doh



Be glad you didn't have to deal her.comfort
Redex
doh doh oh cat I understand fully, that is sadly why I live in just phone distance from my kids and grandkids or frustrated frustrated murder would be done. Phone calls are better than full fall out. moping
Many of my friends here feel just the same. Funny generations we have in front of us, good job we are indendant peopleteddybear teddybear

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