When/How Do You Introduce Your BF/GF To Your Kids?
Here's a very sensitive issue for me. I've been hiding my relationship from my ex-husband and my almost 11 years old son for a long time now. Few months ago, my son picked up my phone and read some messages exchanged between me and my BF. He took the whole thing really well and started teasing me about it, few days later, he grabbed my phone and started chatting to my BF. From that day on, they started talking , exchanged messages and photos. He likes to tease and joke with my BF and would often tell me to marry the guy.
Well, things are more complicated than it appears.
They have met already and often talked on the phone when my BF and I started dating years ago but for some reason, we had to keep the relationship secret after that. My son wants to see my BF, he likes him and that somehow makes me feel positive. Every few months my BF comes here but I never let them meet. My BF plans to spend a very nice Christmas with us, this time he is staying at my place...no more hotels. It would be a wonderful Christmas but I'm having second thoughts...I don't think it's a good idea for them to get too close.
it does give me a strange feeling that the relationship is getting serious...it scares the heck out of me
How did you introduce you BF/GF to your children ?
Was it a happy event ?
Comments (138)
I haven't forgotten that part...I will do that when the right time comes. I'm taking it slow, is all. So you're saying it's not a good idea for him to spend Christmas with me and Yazan ?
Have you ever brought a GF home to meet Louis?
That's my advice, anyway. I made the mistake of telling my grown-up daughter I was in something which I thought was forever, and then had to look an absolute idiot when I said um no not coming down to see you after all, in fact he's history. I'll never do that again. Any future Mr Biff is publicly a friend until we get married (which means a friend forever
Thanks!
They seem to get on very well on the phone...they have met before...4 years ago. I'm not worried about them getting on so well because I know they will. What worries me is when things won't work out between me and my BF, I don't think it would be good experience for my son to get close to him then lose him one day.
you agree with who?
Yes louis has met my last 2 GF...he don't give a hoot..he's 17.
It just seems that Adults make something that isn't that complicated complicated than they really are.
Obviously children view things less complicated.
My only advice to you would be to go with the flow.
Enjoy the holidays together.
why do you keep saying my relationship with him won't last? I hope it's not in one of your dreams too
The fact the he wants to spend Christmas with me and Yazan tells me the relationship is moving forward
Yes, I would want to go with the flow...but I'm kinda nervous
My son calls my bf "punk"
But talking over phone is different from meeting in person and spending days together...
I agree with Eleg..and Ian.
1 minute ago
CC,
Yes, I would want to go with the flow...but I'm kinda nervouslaugh Yes, they have met years ago, my son forgot about him till few months ago when he saw the messages on my phone then they started talking again...
My son calls my bf "punk"doh laugh he said it's an endearmentdoh laugh they tease each othergrin
But talking over phone is different from meeting in person and spending days together
CH It's obvious your son must like your BF and he wants to see him again so that is half the battle right there.
Be thankful that your son likes your bf cause not many men and women are lucky enough where their adult/minor children like who their moms and dads are seeing.
I fully understand that talking over the phone is different from meeting and spending time together.
While we were having lunch today, Yazan asked " when he's coming ? " I hinted "maybe next month" as I'm not sure about having this "family" Christmas. Yazan's reply was " what present is he going to bring me ?
I asked Yazan what he will say if they meet , his reply " Good to see you, Punk! Did you bring me something ?"
I actually want to find out if he can really call my BF "Punk" face to face
anyway, read my blog again...I asked about your personal experiences and how you introduced your Gf to your family! This is not just about me
yes, it's moving forward...which direction I'm not sure yet
a friend of mine here introduced her BF to her daughter over the phone...they were ok till they met face to face...her 24 years old daughter told her to leave her bf few days after meeting him!
When I post a blog I prefer to read others' stories and experiences...it gives me insights and more positive ideas
and your way of introducing your GF is funny but a little cowardly
The only way you will ever find out is too let them meet.Otherwise want will you do when the relationship really gets serious than it is now?
Have to get it done and over with, I guess
yes, I'm worried if will get serious...I guess I will have to go with the flow too
Meeting someone secretly every few months is completely different from taking him home with me, sleep with him in the other room while my son is in the other room, big step really. My BF is not a fun person who takes things like this lightly or meaningless...he is a very serious no-kidding around type of guy.
If that's the case you may insist that your son greets him by his proper name......
I'm taking "cowardly" back....Yes, it's a good way to break the ice. I guess, I'm just used to seeing people in movies bringing their BF/GF home and properly introduced to their family...then there's that awkward family dinner
When Yazan's dad introduced me to his family...he ran away! His mom called me one night and said she would love to invite me for dinner, I accepted. The next day Yazan's dad sent his bestfriend to pick me up because he got so busy at work. His bestfriend dropped me to the doorstep and left me there...my sister in-law opened the door and gave me a very warm welcome grin...few hours later Yazan's dad came and found us having fun conversation while helping his mom baking some cake in the kitchen...like we've known each other's for years...his family instantly liked me and his mother made me promised to give her name if we'll have a daughter one day...
very valid point
In my culture, we don't parade GF/BF in front of our children unless it's very serious
My BF is OK with Yazan calling him names, he laugh about it but blames me...said Yazan took after me and has my crazy sense of humor.
Well ..in my case I certainly wouldn't be introducing a "Bf" I only see 3 or 4 times a year . Unless I was actually living with him or we were about to get married.
NO..it won't last CH and you know it yourself but you're just in denial.
Wake up girl!!
As sands suggested then have your son refer to your bF by his name.
Or ask your BF what he would prefer your to call him.
One question, being your son Arabic muslim like you say, he celebrates Christmas? His father doesn't have problems with that?