When/How Do You Introduce Your BF/GF To Your Kids?
Here's a very sensitive issue for me. I've been hiding my relationship from my ex-husband and my almost 11 years old son for a long time now. Few months ago, my son picked up my phone and read some messages exchanged between me and my BF. He took the whole thing really well and started teasing me about it, few days later, he grabbed my phone and started chatting to my BF. From that day on, they started talking , exchanged messages and photos. He likes to tease and joke with my BF and would often tell me to marry the guy.
Well, things are more complicated than it appears.
They have met already and often talked on the phone when my BF and I started dating years ago but for some reason, we had to keep the relationship secret after that. My son wants to see my BF, he likes him and that somehow makes me feel positive. Every few months my BF comes here but I never let them meet. My BF plans to spend a very nice Christmas with us, this time he is staying at my place...no more hotels. It would be a wonderful Christmas but I'm having second thoughts...I don't think it's a good idea for them to get too close.
it does give me a strange feeling that the relationship is getting serious...it scares the heck out of me
How did you introduce you BF/GF to your children ?
Was it a happy event ?
Comments (138)
there is nothing worse than broken expectations of a 10-12 years old..
Good luck and let us know !!!
I don't see a problem with you spending the holidays with your BF...but be prepared if your son speaks about it with your ex...adults do try to get information out of their children...I hope your ex has moved on and will not try and sabotage your relationship with your son...custody for one...
Good luck and take care...
Could you and son not have say weekend together outing for son etc and all get to know each other as a group as it were. You may gell with BF your son may on phone but all together loyalties may get pulled. Rather find this out on friendship weekend than spoil a xmas which IF it goes pear shaped your sons xmas will be one he never forgets. JMO and this is said with hindsight as I made mistakes with my own kids when they were young and eldest son still holds anger in adult life
It seems that CH is held hostage in this situation...he can marry again...have another child...but still has control on his ex?...
She should be able to move on...irregardless of the financial situation...seems that women there have an impossible situation over there...
If things work out...I mean no problem from my ex-, I would love to have a happy future with my BF...things look bad and complicated at the moment but I think I care about my BF and I really love him. I'm just wary from all the problems that my ex- created before but I'm really happy when my BF is around.
I've tried to get out of this relationship many times but we always managed to sort things out and start all over again...it became a cycle so I simply give up and stop running away from it...sort of " whatever will be will be"
Yes, I intend to have a good long talk with my son about this...and I will also consider his thoughts and feelings about this...and he is the priority...if he says OK and feels good about having my BF in our place then all will be well..
I care, more than you think...no need to worry for him, I love him, a lot!
thank!
My son understands things...he talks to me about what he thinks and feels. He didn't know that his dad and I were divorced a long time until very recently, he came to me, asked me about it after he heard it from his cousins...he also talked to his father about it and his dad assured him that the problems are over ...
My son asked me why we didn't tell him, we wanted to protect him in our way...he said he understand things now...and glad that everything is ok. His father having a new family and him being a big part of it...he said he's OK if I will have someone too...
My son and I are very close, he knows what things that would displease his father, he knows what and not to tell him...he's protective of me in so many ways
I appreciate all the good advice
I was considering talking to my ex- about things...clear things up but it's not the right time yet...but I really want to...I guess a good time will come.
Yeah and this blog has become all about me...why others don't write about their experiences in line with my topic
it's crazy...realy sound crazy that I have to ask permission from my ex- to be with someone?
I know, I should have a talk with him sometime...things that would concern our son. My gut feeling tells me everything will be OK
I hope everything works out well for you and your son. Only you know the situation the best and what you should do.
It sounds like your son and you BF have a great beginning in progress. Now, you need to decide what you want.