Cold on a hot afternoon.

I just gave myself a serious brainfreeze! Mango sorbet, soft and succulent , icy cold and golden, so sweet sliding down my throat then my! the instant and exquisite pain behind the eyes in perfect tempo with the ice cold shock behind the lungs on the way down; and now, pulse pounding, I want to do it all again!

Pain is an odd thing. If unseeing, you touch something hot or something severely cold, nerve endings just react, they cannot tell the difference and both will blister skin. Hypnosis can suppress the skin's reaction both in feeling and in injury while pain consented to is an unending pleasure. So is it all a judgment on our part? Emotional pain is still another story. Today should (I hate that word) have been my youngest sister's birthday. She died at thirty-five, aneurism in the brain switching off the lights instantly, no one at home. A brain freeze pain then nothing.

Five minutes ago I was down stairs installing a new internet connection for my mother and as she leaned into the light I saw her skull beneath the skin and her aura filled with greys and black and then it cleared. So I came up here to lose my self in sweetness and in cold, to hold the moment close and memorable and to feel pain shocking through my nerves, an anchor into life.

I have a choice, renew the flavour on my tongue more slowly this time or wash it away and have a cup of tea with a boring chocolate biscuit not even big enough to pose a threat to my waistline...or I could see what happens if I follow mango sorbet with a hot tea chaser, will I even notice if I burn? Life is always sweetest as you wander along the razor's edge unflinching. It only cuts and maims when you stop moving. Or that's my take on it.