how the other half lives
My father had 3 sisters - one married very well, one married a successful but extremely Bohemian Jewish author (that was a bit shocking, back at the time) and one eloped with a ne'er-do-well. This weekend I went to the birthday lunch of the oldest cousin born of the very good marriage, in Oxford.There were 80 guests, all her branch of the family, or friends. My table had a Supreme Court judge, the birthday girl's brother (a retired QC), a retired Tory MP, and a semi-retired surgeon. They all have wives who paint, run book-clubs, support the arts and have raised brilliant children. There was a spare man, for me, but as the judge chatted me up throughout the lunch I never got to talk to him. (Have you ever tried to stop a judge talking? Conversation hogs of NOTE.) I'm guessing, though, that he was very eligible.
I think I was the only office-worker in the place, but my blushes were spared, my cousin introduced me to the others at the table as a writer.
Funny thing, if I had married the first man I was engaged to, he would have fitted in perfectly. My current fella would have been considered 'quayte a character' and maybe even 'a jolly good sport'. Nearly all the ones in between - phew. Not at all the thing.
Drove back to where I was spending the night thinking okay, now I know why my daughter wasn't invited. Not because numbers were tight. My own daughter wouldn't have fitted in. Wow.
Am I sorry my life turned off the track I was born into? I have no idea. I don't think I would have made a professional man a very good wife, but then I didn't make a very good wife anyway. It was odd wondering what it would have been like, though. And whether I should have shut the judge up and flirted discreetly with the single man provided for me. Just to see.
There's a sort of a point to this blog. Have you lived the life you were expected to live, or have you gone completely off-piste? And - looking back - do you have regrets about decisions you made?
I don't. Well, except about letting the judge flirt so much with me. Okay I would have had to get up and walk away
but I don't think his wife will follow up on my books for her bookclub now. 
Comments (32)
I am the youngest of 7 children, so, we didn't have a lavish up bringing, saying that, it was always fun , and being the youngest, I could sometimes, only sometimes get away with murder
My ex husbands family are snobs, I was never really good enough for their little boy - I don't regret any of my life, as the hard knocks have made me the person I am today
I recall back to when I was 21 yrs old and my mother used to tell people that I was her baby which made me want to say "Hey mom I'm not a baby". That used to embarrass the heck out of me.
Anyhow back to your questions.
Have I lived the life I expected to live?
Probably not back then and now.
Never ever in my dreams did I would had lived the life I lived back then and now.
I was never a materialistic person and still not to this day cause only people meant/mean a lot to me.
All I ever wanted was going up as a small child was to have a happy family to grow up in.
But all some of my older siblings were were a lot of betrayers,liars and back stabbers and thought they were much better than me.
Do I have any regrets about the decisions I've made.
Sure which includes back then and now.
I'm the cat that walks alone
Funny old life, wasn't it? You seem to be living the dream now, though. Where's my dream? I want a dream!!
And I have done all of those things, more or less
It was suggested to me by a sis-in-law of writing a book about my life but some may not of believed it and figured that I had made the whole this up.
My sense of humor keeps me going or I'd would had been in the loony bin long ago.
But I'm even more impressed by you now than I was before.
I do think he did it more to give people a starter-hook for conversation. He also said I was from Scotland, and that gave us some starter small-talk as well.
And this is the place everyone (well, all your Spanish lot) say is a good place for a holiday?
Molly, I saw you booked already. Did YOU know this???
And have cancelled tentative plans to relocate down to England
Scotland barged into England a gazillion years ago, apparently, hence all the impressive mountains along the Borders. Apparently we're made of pretty hard stuff, whether that will make an earthquake better or worse I have no idea. I shall NOT be researching it, I want to sleep nights.
I married someone below me, much to the horror of my family, of course.
Did I regret any of it?
Hmmmm......yes and no.
Yes for not finishing my degree coz I would have a better career path today instead of just being a waitress
No coz I wouldn't have both my cheeky monkeys with me today.
It's never too late to go back to Uni, you're so bright. Or do pretty much anything you set your mind on. Right now you're treading water. There's still years and years in which to start swimming
Everything I have seen or heard of your kids, they were and are worth it.
I think I've finally found my vocation....that is, writing to lonely old men throughout the four corners of the world!
You can't change what's done. You can only decide what you do want and live accordingly.
My parents raised me to be a good, kind person with room to follow my dreams and pursue my own idea of happiness.
I raised my children the same way and have no regrets
Respect for person is earned not just received because of money or title.
This has meant I can go into any company and not feel awkard because of status I dont see it
Probably shouldn't have said that, mind.