The Last Farewell?
A lifelong friend is getting married tomorrow. She spent a few months here with us and some of you may remember her as BeaPatient. I asked her to drop in some time but she declined the invitation and said that she will be removing her profile in due course. No, she did not meet him here.
Although she could never be more than a baby sister to me, I cannot help to feel a little pang of jealousy. I don’t know why it is, because I attended her first wedding and I did not feel like this then. I was invited to her wedding but I shall not be attending. The azzhole made her promise to ignore me in future. I cannot see her fulfilling that promise as her brother is my best friend and my sister is her best friend. Bumping into each other from time to time will be inevitable.
I don't know what kind of bozo extorts such a promise from his future wife. I can only hope that he’ll come to his senses as a marriage based on suspicion is doomed to failure. If I wanted her for a wife or a lover, she would have been years ago. What worries me the most is that, as with her first marriage, she is marrying for all the wrong reasons.
As a friend she will be very hard to replace. When I was sick she was always there to help me. Whether that be tidying up, bringing a plate of food, doing some shopping or anything else. When I had a few friends over for a barbecue or a party, I always asked her to act as hostess. A true friend in deed.
My father is furious with me for letting her ‘slip through my fingers’ for a second time, but he does not understand. I love Bea, but not that way.
And now, as I wrap up this blog, I feel a kind of emptiness inside. Such as if I have lost my old friend for ever. I should really call her to hear how she is and to wish her well in her new life, but I don’t want to be instrumental in her breaking her promise. Besides, I may just tell her not to marry him and that will be selfish.
Hey, it is Friday!!
Comments (33)
I have seen friends marrying for the wrong reasons and its not going well. In one case I was pondering if I should say something (drugs, don't think that mentally stable), but then they announced their engagement. The other friend never ask my opinion & I didn't say anything. Wouldn't have made a difference with them marrying, but I would have lost a friend.
They're adults & if they want an opinion, they'll ask.
She has made her choice & I wish her every happiness.
Btw. I would never be with someone (again) dictating who I could talk to or not.
I also I have friends that are not "like that". I wish them every happiness but would be sad to loose their friendship.
I myself had a friend of more than 40years, she remaried an a--h--e well as good as, partner is the word used these days.
Why she cared for him I will never know, but it stretched our friendship at times. It was sad to meet her only when her partner was not around.
She past away a couple of years ago
So yes you are left in a hard place.
Such is life. We can only hope for the best.
This guy is solid enough and I may even have liked him but he was hostile towards me since the very first day she brought him to me for an introduction. It was so important to her that I approve of him. It seems as if he does not approve of me.
Catfoot, I know she's no longer active on CS but I still want to congratulate her on her big day
This for you Catfoot
Yes, now that you mention it, I remember that the two of you chatted a few times on my blog. I regret my unwillingness to convey your good wishes to her, but maybe she peeps in, even if she does not comment.
I wish Bea lots of happiness
Haven't seen her around for a long time but yes, we did have some fun on your blogs then
Why the heck did you let her get away ?!
I did not let her get away. I have never been in love with her. She and my baby sister were just little nuisances with their running noses and wet nappies when they were small. Her elder brother was (and still is) my best friend. We had to mind our baby sisters. We developed a bond as children and as they grew up Bea and I became tight friends, but she was never anything but a sister to me.
I've read that before...just messing with you
Yes, it's difficult to see a a good friend marrying someone we don't approve of...her situation now reminds me of myself actually
I was very surprised to receive an invitation to the reception... until I learned about her silly promise. I think the promise was a trade-off to get me invited, but it was in vain. I won't be going. I cannot see her ignoring me and it is not going to make good reading in the local newspaper if the bridegroom got his nose smashed by the bride's old friend.
go...you have to be there...for her
at last, in case the groom would need some punching
Nope, Bea does not need me to protect her against a man. Both she and my sister did an apprenticeship under us. If he knows what is good for him, he will behave very smartly.
Besides, I have informed them a month ago that I will not be attending.
Not to worry. I'm just sorry for losing a friend.
Ja, lanklaas gesien.
Maybe this is a matter of """If you love someone, set it free".etc
Your feelings may run deeper than you care to admit and you might be scarred
I Want To Say!
Congrats! To BeaPatient.______
And To You! Bob.
Just Be Patient ! And Let Things Work Itself Out.
Who Knows! You and the husband to be. Might just becomes friends. Exspecially if you two get to know each other in a different way.
Time and patience! Help A Lot.
And my best wishes for the new couple.
Hang in there buddy! Hopefully your relationship with Bea and her new husband will have positive growth!
I remember her when she was on the blogs.
there is more to this than what i want to discuss in public but I can assure you that there is nothing like this. I the guy was not so hostile towards me and not so possessive on her, I would have liked him. He's not a bad guy. He just does not trust her. When she was married before we gave up our regular contact voluntary as we probably would have done here. We do not need a bozo to tell us so.
I don't have much problems with him. His problem is that he thinks Bea and I are or were lovers. He does not trust her and that is a big worry. You cannot build a relationship without trust.
Well, let's hope the thing pans more gild than dust. But I have many misgivings.
Yep, I remember, she used to frequent your blog. She loved your jokes. And then she suddenly lost interest in CS after a short visit to Zimbabwe. Actually I thought she met somebody there, but she denied it. Well, we never had many secrets.
Why does everybody console and comfort me.
I want Bea to be married and happy. It is just the guy that she is marrying and her reasons for doing so that disturbs me.
That's the one.
He's more likely hostile to the fact that she wanted more from you than you had to offer, and as he gets to realize she no longer wants more from you, that will sort itself out. Although if he's marrying her and still worried that he is her second choice, eek! She's got some convincing to do.
Long life and happiness, Bea. Make it so.
True friendship lasts forever. Bea is still one of your old friend.
Have a nice weekend!
If she was in love with him, I would have had no problem, but she is not and he knows it. Apparently he loves her enough to overcome it. Only, he did not start well by cutting me out when the two of us would have come to that decision in any way.
After all, we agreed not to see each other during her previous marriage. It is only fair. We only spoke if we met by chance. It is only fair. But it was by choice and not enforced.
She is making the same mistake as 25 years ago and it is going to end the same.
With this move he's set the norm of how he's going to do things. I know Bea and she is not a woman who is going to be told what to do and what not to do. She is a very independent person and She'll just walk out if this is to continue.
Yes, I got used to having her around, but bear in mind that we were just friends and did not see each other all that often. We had our own agendas and both of us went out with somebody else from time to time.
It is not as bad as it sound. I will respect his wishes by not mainlining contact but if we meet by chance there is no way in this world that can prevent us from talking. I know Bea and he better wakes up to that.