Dating When Over Sixty.
Ok ladies, this is where you get off the bus again. This is for men only. I know a few cheated last time by slipping in by the back door, but this time there will be a short arm inspection. The devil help those who are caught without a decent piece. Of course, you’re still welcome to comment. You never read the blogs in any way.Hey you, with the snooker table legs! I know who you are, get out!
Now guys, today we’ll be discussing a dating kit for those over 60. If you’re not 60 yet, don’t go away, you’ll be here with us sooner than you think.
Let’s face it guys, we are well beyond our use before date and therefore we are going to need a few things to pave the way in case we should accidentally stumble into a woman stupid (or drunk) enough to be interested in us. When the occasion arises, we need to be prepared. There are a few things that we’re going to need.
I know some women like bald heads, but when it is full of wrinkles and creases, they will like it no more. Get a decent hair piece. One that sits tight that will not be blown off by the fan. Remember, she will, in all probability, be getting hot flushes.
Women don’t like a man to sit with a mouth full of teeth, but when there is nothing in there, they won’t like it either. Be sure to have a full set of well fitting dentures. We don’t want them to fall out when you laugh or cough, do we?
Then you will need a walking stick. Get one of those with the hook on top - like a shepherd’s staff. It serves a double purpose. It will be invaluable if you need to traverse one or two staircases to reach her dwellings and once there, it can be used to haul her closer if she sits too far away. She can probably outrun you.
A collapsible glass is another essential item so you can take your cholesterol and HBP medication in the bathroom without her knowing. This is very important. Never ask her for a glass to take medication. Women don’t like sickly men. If she should notice you popping tabs, tell her it is vitamin tablets. The glass can also be used for your dentures once the light is off. Oh yes, take care to swallow the Viagra tablet fast, otherwise you will be sitting with a stiff neck all night.
And have two or three condoms in your pocket. Women don’t like to use them but she will feel very special to know that you always use them when you date other woman. *!Wishful thinking, methinks!*
Right, that is about it. If you can think of something else that can make our lives easier, let me know. Just remember, this is not a ‘Larry' adventure game where everything can fit into the pockets. Grand! The ladies will be joining us in the next paragraph, so I’m trying to think what to say to get their attention away from the rest of the blog.
Hi Ladies, it is so nice to have you back. Don’t worry, you missed nothing. We were just talking politics.
Now enjoy your day and be prepared. I may happen today.
Comments (44)
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Of course it's true, cross my heart.
Hmm, much later, I hope. I'm catching a plane to the Antarctica. I'll be there for at least six months.
Because my mother put a dunce cap on my head. Pardon me for not looking around. She said that if I do, I will have to sit like this for another hour.
My daughter works with 65year old's and up...
From what I'm told.... There it hope for all of
us..
Yep, if I look at the old people at the retirement center where my father is, they're having a ball. Now here is some interesting statistic for you. At that place, the women outnumber the men by 16 to 1. No wonder my father likes it so much there.
then I guess I'd have to wait until I get wrinkles on my head before I will be able to enjoy your affections.
Please post name of retirement center
I don't like the odds....
Hold on if I get in there at 55...
I could be the young Bookie....(chick...squeeze...moose)
Need to thing about this more..
Please tell me I did right.
We have to spy to know what needs to be known...
Always be one step ahead in the game...
Actually, at that age, that is about the statistics all over. Men generally die earlier than women. The bad news is that most those woman are 80 or above. My father is the eldest male in the place while there are two ladies who are over 100.
I've been told that married men die first
because they want to.....
You liked it,
You did the right thing. We were just talking politics. Boring! I'm proud of you. Don't allow 2back to corrupt you. I have serious doubts about her.
wings and all...stolen but Possession is 9/10 of the law..
Yes, some may do so willingly.
A woman once told me if I was her husband, she would have poisoned me. I told her that if I was her husband, I would have taken that poison without her intervention.
But you did not get them from me...
I try ...Heaven help me if I'm not..
Well, I'm a
I think we'll make beautiful babies. I hear 'mixed' babies are unusually pretty. You wanna take a chance on me? I promise only to beat you up when you're wrong.
Did you also peep? I'm disappointed.
Spoken like a true gentleman...
I ss a lucky Bookie
@#$#*^%!!!, I am exactly that.
by then , if I ever go out. Good blog
Thank you. That's right. Keep on looking forward to getting here. Life only starts at sixty.
Think I might be in trouble with someone if I took a chance there Cat.
Nothing grey about the Devil. It is either scarlet red or pitch black. Nothing in between.
there I miss out again!
And from what I was told, it just reconfirmed my own convictions - the older I get, the younger the man.
You're only as old as (the man) you feel
You must please tell me who that traitor was so I can ban him from all future lodge meetings.
I must commend you for not reading the blog. It is a far cry better than
reading the last line of every star sign. It only serve to prove that modern women also have integrity.
This is getting very technical. Could you explain it to me in simple Japanese, please?