Egyptian Flu
This is a sexua11y transmittable disease where the host is always a woman. The virus has a gestation period of about 280 days. The host may be infected several times during her lifetime until later in her life when she will permanently become immune against this virus.
At the end of the incubation period, the host turns into a mummy (if she is not already in that condition); hence the term ‘Egyptian Flu. Though the virus had run its course and every thing may seem to be back to normal, nothing is ever the same afterwards. The consequences are far reaching.
This infection is normally first observed when the woman ‘skips’. Huh? And I always thought that skipping was something done with a rope to get fit.
The most typical symptoms include, among other, being nauseous, the swelling of the abdomen, the enlargement of the breasts, and an uncontrollable craving for certain foodstuffs at the most ridiculous times, sometimes for something that she does not normally like to eat.
The source of the virus is always a male. In certain cases the excessive presence of a toxin named testosterone, drives the male into a frenzy trying to infect as many hosts as possible. The male should not be chastised for this. It is beyond his control.
The best way to prevent being infected is for the female to keep a pea between her knees. As long as she keeps it there, she will not be affected.
There are several other ways to prevent infection but that is beyond the scope of this blog. You should Google ‘family planning’ for more information as this infection can have a negative impact on your personal finances and, if left unchecked, it may run havoc with the global population statistics.
Have a great day. Yea, I know it is only Monday. Enjoy it just the same!
As usually, you don’t have to thank me for this valuable advice. I render it as a free public service in order to promote better relations between men and women.
Comments (38)
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True, but I have to do my little bit. Every bit helps.
But I'm giving advice on that too. The pea does work. Besides, if you give each person in the world one quarter of an acre of real estate, you can fit all of them in Texas.
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Thank you. I like Alan Jackson but I have not heard this one.
By the time I was told about the Pea it was to late...
Good blog as always...
I'm glad you liked it.
Are you telling me that my advice came a few years too late?
Way way way to late...
Actually, on a point of order. I believe that my advice was very timely. It would seem that you were a bit early.
Gendarussa
Eppin
Clean Sheets Pill
Vasalgel
Thank very much! It is much appreciated... though I did expect a bit more. I thought you might have discussed the pros and cons of the various products. And any possible long term side effects.
There are lots of different contraception's, simply talk to your partner and make sure something is in place.
It do like infection attempts and you won't hear me complaining about someone's testosterone.
I don't know.
It happened quite some time ago. I only remember all the mud slinging.
Thank you. Will do and all the same to you.
Don't tell me. Tell her. It is my purpose to spread the virus.
Was that during the mid 1920s, or the mid 1820s?
Thank you for such knowledgeable input. Your suggestion regarding the aspirin in the stead of a pea makes perfect sense. Peas my be out of season at times while aspirin are always available.
Don't forget to mention that it should not be a frozen Pea..
While I can see the complications arising from using frozen pee, it may be an excellent deterrent against aspiring males if the female should display frozen pee stains on any garments worn below the waist. And it will require a very cool lady to pass frozen pee and keep the pee in that frozen state.
You said pea! What's happening to my eyes? Kindly disregard the gibberish in the previous comment.
All I can say Cat, is that I am at an age where any illness has been subdued and I am sure this is one of them. I have been told to die twice and still kicking like a 35 years old woman and can't ask for more.
I am happy and I hope others will not be infected and or affected by the negative impact of this illness.
Thanks for not only a valuable lesson, but a very entertaining one.
Take care Cat. Nice to read you always.
I fear I cannot make out what's on the pic. I googled it and it seems to be a profile photo on a blog site of one Dwight Schultz
Stay Blessed!!
Good.
Thank you very much to you too!
I did not know what to blog about today so I revamped one of my older blogs. I do it from time to time.
Stay Blessed!!
Goodenuph
I try to throw in a mixed bag, but even with the serious stuff, I sometimes cannot resist a quirk. Somehow I see humor in a serious situation as well.
It may be in the genes. I had old man's hands before I was 30 and yet my body has not changed much. I have and old face now and my six-pack may have depleted a bit but otherwise my body is still more or less the way it was when I was 25.
I'll come back later reply to any comments.
Good for you Cat. Keep up the good health.
I don't need a prescription for red wine. I volunteer that stuff.
You don't need a list of reasons to avoid it. Just tell whoever that you have a headache! It works most the time... unless if whoever happens to carry a packet of aspiring in his dating kit.