~~ THE WORD AND LOGAS ~~6

And the poet has written, "Then I also started making sounds with the horse, because there was no possibility of language. Then, in communication with that horse, for the first time I became aware of sounds - their beauty, their feeling."

You cannot be aware with a man because he is dead. A horse is more alive, and he has no language.

He has pure sound. He is filled with his heart, not with his mind. So that poet remembers, "For the first time, I became aware of the beauty of sounds and their meaning. This was not the meaning of words and thoughts, but a meaning filled with feeling." If someone else was there, the horse would not make those sounds, so the child could understand that the horse meant, "Do not come in.

Someone is here and your father will be angry."

When there was no one, the horse would make the sounds meaning, "Come in. There is no one."

So the poet remembers that "It was a conspiracy, and he helped me very much, that horse helped me very much. And when I would go and love that horse, he would move his head in a particular way when he liked it. When he did not like it, he would not move his head in that way. When he liked it, then it was a certain thing, he would express it. When he was not in the mood, then he would not move in a certain way."

And this poet says, "This continued for years. I would go and love that horse, and that love was so deep, I never felt any affinity with anyone else so deeply. Then one day when I was stroking his neck and he was moving and enjoying it ecstatically, suddenly for the first time I became aware of my hand, that I was stroking, and the horse stopped. Now he would not move his neck." And that poet says, "Then for years I tried and tried, but there was no response, the horse would not reply. Only later on did I become aware that because I became aware of my hand and myself, the ego came in and the communication broke. I couldn't recapture again that communication with the horse."

What happened? That was a feeling communication. The moment ego comes, words come, language comes, thought comes, then the layer is changed completely. Now you are above sounds; then you were below sounds. Those sounds are feelings, and the horse could understand feelings.

Now he couldn't understand, so the communication broke. The poet tried and tried - but no effort is successful because even your effort is the effort of your ego.

He tried to forget his hand, but he couldn't forget. How can you forget? It is impossible. And the more you try to forget it, the more you remember. So you cannot forget anything with effort. Effort will simply emphasize the memory more. The poet says, "I became fixed with my hand; I couldn't move that horse. I would go up to my hand, and then there was no movement. The energy would not move into that horse and he became aware of this."

How did the horse become aware? If I suddenly start speaking some other language, then the communication is broken, then you will not be able to understand me. And if this language were not known to you, you would suddenly stop because now the language is unknown to you. Thus, the horse stopped.

Every child lives with feeling. First come sounds, then those sounds are filled with feeling. Then come words, then thoughts, then systems, religions, philosophies. Then one goes farther and farther away from the center of feeling.

This sutra says, come back, come down - down to the state of feeling. Feeling is not your mind:

that is why you are afraid of feeling. You are not afraid of reasoning. You are always afraid of feeling because feeling can lead you into chaos. You will not be able to control. With reason, the control is with you; with the head, you are the head. Below the head you lose the head, you cannot control, you cannot manipulate. Feelings are just below the mind - a link between you and the mind.