Your Profile And You
Does your profile reflect the way you see yourself or the way other people see you? If you think that it is the same thing then you have another think coming. You are only who you think you are if most other people more or less agree with that view.
When you look in a mirror you only see what you want to see. Other people do not see what you see when you look in the mirror. And they do not notice the same things about you. Some will find certain characteristics more important than others. The things that you deem as important may be completely overlooked by them.
You may stand proud because of your honesty, but it is not written on your forehead. The fact that you never lie or cheat may go unnoticed to some. Your high morals may be taken for granted and they will be quick to notice your flaws while others may stare themselves blind into your virtues and not notice your shortcomings.
Some 20 years ago I asked a number of friends and family members to assess me and to write down my strong and weak points in order of importance. Both genders were represented and their ages varied from sixteen to seventy. I was about forty five at the time. I made a similar list.
It was an eye-opener. It revealed strong points (important to them) that I did not rate as worth mentioning and weaknesses that I was not aware of. Some of the points on my list appeared nowhere while some only showed up with the younger bunch and other traits were noticed only by the older people. The most similarities were among people of more or less my own age group.
So what was the purpose of the exercise? Well, it did give me a few things to work on.
You may believe that what other people think of you is not important, but if they see you vastly different than what you see yourself then you are mispresenting yourself.
So, I ask again. Who is represented in your profile? Is it the you that you see in the mirror or the you that other people see?
Not that it is important, I just wondered.
See, the weekend has arrived. Enjoy it!
PS
I cannot find the word 'mispresenting' in any dictionary. I nevertheless used it in my blog because I cannot think of a better word. If anybody can suggest the proper word, I'd be very grateful.
Comments (77)
Have a heart. I promise not to raid your cupcake warehouse again.
I'm young and naive....
therefor my perceptions about profiles I visit are based on what I've seen or known so far..
But I've learned something here on CS and what I do practice in life .... "Don't judge a book by its cover" !
I found that in the dictionary, but it does not quite say what I want to say. If nothing else comes up, that is probably the correct word. Thanks in any way.
Anyway, one thing everyone in the household, family and friends, even strangers, concur that on a scale of 1-10, my cooking is ...........,,...... -5
If it is not the cupcakes than what can it be.
Oh maybe because I did not steal a kiss. I was tempted but remember I came as a thief in the night and I could not dare to wake you.
theoretically, it's easier to misconstrue something when it's only being conveyed through mere text.
So agree with @Seri don't judge a book by its cover
Nice one.
About as true as it can get. What we think we are is more or less what we want others to believe we are.
My family doesn't hold back with feedback btw.
I think that trust and verify suit my lifestyle best.
But if you are disappointed with a new author, how do you proceed when his new book is published. In real life, when a person disappoint you, you may be reluctant to deal with him/her again, but is it really to say that the said person will disappoint you again? Circumstances change all the time and even normally solid people can disappoint you at times.
Yes, and even the age bracket and the social standing of the person determines how he sees you. You project a different picture to almost everybody. It is all a matter of what is important to the person appraising you.
An elderly woman once told me that she can see that I was raised properly because I always wipe my feet before I enter her house. See what I mean? What has wiping your feet to do with decency? But apparently it was important to her.
Cat what have you done to DC?
That is a mouthful. I will have to study and evaluate it. U'll respond to it later.
My ex had no profile description for himself. Instead he had written something like what you said, that it's better to get somebody else to describe us, or we will describe the person we think we are...
I wrote my profile description in a couple of minutes, and didn't put too much thought into it
But yes I agree, other people would add strengths and weaknesses that we would never think of.
Not that many people put any weaknesses on their profile anyway, they wait until they have landed their catch before those are introduced
I put no effort in mine at all. That is straight-forward what I think I am, though I have deflated a few things like job description and qualifications among others. That is nobody's business and I will divulge that only on a need to know basis.
But it is handy to know what other people think of you. It points the way to proceed in your self-improvement.
I don't think it really matters. As long as it is a true reflection on what you think you are (you must be correct at least in some of your thoughts), it is not a lie. The big thing is not to inflate anything. Rather deflate if you must.
Ps
By the way, is your handle somehow related to your job? I love maps, esp the old old ones. In fact, I love all old things. Ships, cars, buildings, any thing old and antique, with the notable exception of women.
That could be interesting
Molly...might be an idea thanks.
Don't you think we have enough turbulence on the blogs?
Let me know beforehand if it should happen so I can go fishing for three months until the dust settles again.
Ah, so you are to blame for my high property tax. I'll write that in my little black book.
And you can't go fishing, because it will be your blog
Not very likely my dear. I have retired from serious blogging. If I cannot go fishing I'll sit on the front porch sipping cold coffee while watching the debacle. If the nuclear fallout gets too heavy, Ill go into my bunker to keep ol' Adolf company. He's very erratic these days, but it will be safer with him.
Criticism we will always have. Some justified and some not, but is is still worth investigating it. What is unfounded you discard and the rest can be worked on.
No,no! I cannot really blame you, but now I'm highly suspicious. That was about the time our rates and taxes were revised and drastically increased.
You know, I'm like the taxman. When I get hold onto someone, I persist until the bitter end.
You cannot have that title. Somebody else have it and he won't relinquish it with out a fight. He is so well embedded, it is unlikely that you will get him lifted.
Anyways, I try to describe myself how I feel and think of who I am and I don't hate those who judge me wrong.
Now you're talking another debacle. Wow, but your (American) politics is in a mess at the moment. It would seem that you ran out of proper candidates. Is that job so bad that nobody wants it?
maybe you must try another pic. Somebody else using that pic caused some havoc here. Perhaps they think you're one and the same.