Just call me Fred
Hello it’s me and I know, you don’t usually see me this time of day.Usually? Ever. I’m awake an hour earlier than usual because my good buddy / LDR called me at sparrows to see whether we’re still on for Portugal or whether I had eloped.
Comedians at break of day, oh yes please.
Thing is, I dearly love having male buddies but right now I’m rich beyond the dreams of avarice with male buddies. I’m talking to four through the joys of social media, between texts, whatsapps, skype, emails and good ol’ CS. One is now mainly lunchtimes - since I re-wrote his dating profile he’s getting out a lot more in the evenings. I get to hear about every date. In detail. One is early evening, one is middle evening, one is late evening. I’m like Crazy, but without the sex! because every single one of them thinks of me as good ol’ Fred and tells me about this lovely female, or that not-so-lovely-but-keen female, or just general stuff. Elope? To be laughing.
My romantic interest is mainly phone calls and long chatty emails. Occasional phone calls and emails. Tell you what. The day he calls to say there’s this female who has said something and what does it mean, is she interested, I will rip his head off, shove gravel down his throat, start taking male hormones, grow a beard and become good ol’ Fred because that’s obviously who I was born to be.
Good ol’ Fred. Sheesh.
If anyone can tell me how to turn back into a female, that would probably be handy. Especially for Portugal.
Comments (35)
It cannot be that bad, can it? And you don't want a beard. Beards require daily attention.
Later xx
It was bloody brilliant I could not put it down, it is being past around now.
Some very good pointers in that for safety and what to look for.
Have good trip
This is your car we're talking about, right?
Have to go shopping myself.
Skin? Hmm. I was planning a neck to toes flannel goonie as a back-up for the t, but if you think it will help ...
Pedal, yup, and I flaunt it, baby. Pretty unbelievable, huh?
Did you buy anything today that's not made of flannel or do I have to go shopping with you?
BROWN. No. Brown trim? could work.
You can always mention it and delete it before you go to bed?