Hopeless
I'm always finding myself stuck in these situations where You know with every being of yourself that the One you're with is bringing you down! I care to deeply to hurt him!I Love to strongly to just walk away! I know I am good for him! He is a better man because of Me! I have given my all to him However, He gives NOTHING back! Everything is so One-Sided with him he talks in circles and drives me crazy!! He can be so mean at times that I actually feel Hate for him! But then, he always manages to sucker me back in! He can make feel like he loves me and he can make me so happy at times that the whole rest of the world just disappears!!! He's everything I want and Love!!! And... He's NOT!!! How can someone be so wonderful and so ugly!! How can someone Love another so much and turn around and be the most hateful and ugly person!!! How can one man make me so happy and so miserable at the same time?? I know he'll NEVER change!! He'll NEVER SEE or know what he does to me!! I swear He builds me up just to tear me down!!I'm torn, twisted, shattered and most of all Hopeless!! Hope is everything! Without Hope, there's Nothing!!
I'm blogging this because I have no one to confide in! No one to help me make the choice! Is there even a right choice? I don't want or need perfection!! ALL I Want, ALL I NEED is to Matter!!
I KNOW my worth! I Know I'm unique!! I'm NOT perfect! But I CARE!!! I LOVE!!! I BELIEVE in treating others the way You want to be treated!!! I want to be treated right!! I don't deserve the crap I take!! And I don't know what to do with it! I do know! However, I battle myself over it..................I know Him!!! And I don't! I'll defend him and protect him because I believe in him!! Maybe I'm waisting my time, maybe time doesn't matter!
Maybe.... I'm just hopeless!!! Maybe this is my destiny! maybe I'll just be DONE!! I wish I would! I'm so tired of it all!!!
Comments (31)
Don't be a martyr.
Love is not hurtful and you are letting him hurt you over and over.
What kind of a life would this be with this man.
You know the answer. Let him go............
Love/attraction is a mysterious thing, and it is not always good for us. It sounds to me like this guy has shifting moods so has problems of his own. You are right that he will probably not change unless he is the one who desires it.
Have you communicated to him "what he does to you"? You say he will never see or understand it. Why not?
There are a lot of questions you need answers to.
One thing I can tell you...time DOES matter.
Don't let these precious years of your life slip away when you might change things for the better.
You are not hopeless and it is not your destiny unless you want it to be so.
By posting this blog, I know you don't.
And Then.... Another Way ...At Other Times
Then Theres A Problem
A Problem That Is Not Going To Change
And Will Always Be There
You May Have Too Much Of Your Life Invested In This Situation Miss Fire
And Theres Just No Way Youre Going To Let Go
So It Seems That
"This Is It"..........................
I knew I could count on this site to help! :-) I do believe this is it. I just need to figure out how to help him. He is too ADHD and has severe panic/anxiety attacks to actually sit down with someone (professional) He would be willing, he's even said he would. I just needed to step back and catch myself. Thank you all for your encouraging words and just simply making a complete stranger Matter!!! :-D
You Are Not Hopeless
For If You Were Hopeless
You Wouldnt Be Here... Talking About Your Situation
Talking About Ones Problems
Is The First Step... To Finding Answer And Solutions
Which... Im Sure... You Are On The Right Road
To Your Destiny
...........................................
I know some counselors are not worth much. But there are some good ones...if not a counselor, a clergy person, friends, family, or some other respected individual that might lend you an ear.
You might also try meditation because reading your posts, you sound very excitable with thoughts jumping all over the place.
One thing you mentioned: you are afraid there isn't anything better, you have to take the bad with the good rather than nothing at all.
Not if you are in a lot of pain and stress.
Do you know what that does to a body?
Believe me, you should never have to put up with a relationship that makes you want to stop living at times.
Viking, women can do this, too. I suggest you all read up on it and be aware.
I agree it is serious issue, the OP really was asking for feedback...that's why she posted.
We may not have been lucky to have found the right one or be in a relationship at the moment, but that doesn't mean we haven't been through things in life or have experiences/insights to share.
-and to youre last comment, I`ve already lived it.
-maybe the guy doesn`t even have a clue what this is all about...?
-hearing a one-sided story, and everyone want`s to judge..?
As said before, blame the guy, it alwayes works...
few of you here that has been in an abusive relationship?
you are not stuck. You're holding yourself back from perhaps a brighter future.
A friend of mine felt so bad when he tried to keep one of his past GF's. It just wasn't working. He then told me, "She's the only one for me. There'll never be another like her. Never! And I don't want anyone else. I'm willing to go through all I have to to stay with her."
He then got drunk and cried when they split up.
About a year later, I saw him with a new lady. He said "Hi" and the next day, he called me. He said, "Rob, she is the best GF I've ever had. She is truly the ONE for me. There is no one else like her. She's the best!"
I then told him, "Wait! Didn't you say that about your last GF, that she was the ONE for you, and that there would never be anyone like her?"
He replied, "Hmm, did I say that? Well, you know? It's a good thing that I parted ways with her, because I never would have met my real happiness, my real love, THIS ONE.. She is the best. I thank God that I met this one."
I added, "And as you just said, if you had not had the courage to move on from your last GF, you never would have met this one, the one you are so happy with now."
Just thought I'd mention this.
Best wishes on your decision, whatever you choose to do.
Sincerely,
You're young and have no kids, get out, be happy with someone who doesn't make you feel this way, because it's not OK to feel the way you feel.
My mother always says...plenty of mothers have wonderful sons out there