Hopeless

I'm always finding myself stuck in these situations where You know with every being of yourself that the One you're with is bringing you down! I care to deeply to hurt him!I Love to strongly to just walk away! I know I am good for him! He is a better man because of Me! I have given my all to him However, He gives NOTHING back! Everything is so One-Sided with him he talks in circles and drives me crazy!! He can be so mean at times that I actually feel Hate for him! But then, he always manages to sucker me back in! He can make feel like he loves me and he can make me so happy at times that the whole rest of the world just disappears!!! He's everything I want and Love!!! And... He's NOT!!! How can someone be so wonderful and so ugly!! How can someone Love another so much and turn around and be the most hateful and ugly person!!! How can one man make me so happy and so miserable at the same time?? I know he'll NEVER change!! He'll NEVER SEE or know what he does to me!! I swear He builds me up just to tear me down!!
I'm torn, twisted, shattered and most of all Hopeless!! Hope is everything! Without Hope, there's Nothing!!

I'm blogging this because I have no one to confide in! No one to help me make the choice! Is there even a right choice? I don't want or need perfection!! ALL I Want, ALL I NEED is to Matter!! I KNOW my worth! I Know I'm unique!! I'm NOT perfect! But I CARE!!! I LOVE!!! I BELIEVE in treating others the way You want to be treated!!! I want to be treated right!! I don't deserve the crap I take!! And I don't know what to do with it! I do know! However, I battle myself over it..................

I know Him!!! And I don't! I'll defend him and protect him because I believe in him!! Maybe I'm waisting my time, maybe time doesn't matter!
Maybe.... I'm just hopeless!!! Maybe this is my destiny! maybe I'll just be DONE!! I wish I would! I'm so tired of it all!!!