Its Friday....

Whats the height of being intoxicated?
When you walk across the dance floor to buy another drink and you win the Singles Dance Competition..

You hear about the drunk catholic sitting in the confessional?
After a long silence the priest taps the divider to catch the attention of the guy.
"you're knocking for nothing, no toilet paper here either"



One day a farmer walks into a general dealer and buys a heavy Anvil, tin bucket, two chickens and a goose. The farmer stares at all his purchases and mutters. " "I wonder how i'm going to carry all this seeing that I walked into town." Some (SA farmers) are not too bright.
Not wanting to lose the sale, the Dealer sez, "Put the anvil in the bucket, one chicken under each arm and carry the goose in you other hand." It works out perfectly and off goes the farmer humming a tune....
A little way down the road a very prim and proper lady stops the farmer and asks " Could you please tell me where upper road is?" "Its not far" sez the farmer, "come and I'll show you a shortcut and you will be there in no time"
The petite lady clutches her chest in dismay and say: "I am just a lonely widow that has lost her husband a long time ago, so how will i K now that you won't abuse me in the ally?" The farmer is taken aback and says:
"Good Lord lady, how on earth could i do that with all my stuff in my hands, look at my load, are you crazy?"
She replies: "Easy. Put the goose down and cover it with the bucket with the anvil on top to keep it it place.... and I will hold on to the two chickens"

Enjoy the weekend. And dont win too many single competitions...