S E X on the First Date
There are as many answers for this as there are factors determining the result.I am a man. A man that has had no s*xual or intimate contact in years.
I was tested 8 months after my last s*xual encounter and I know I have no STIs. I want to remain in that condition. I already raised a family and I am not looking to raise another.
I know that sex feels great and want it again.
I am looking for a relationship with the right woman that includes sex but is not founded on sex. There are many things that are important to me, sex being one, but a major one.
On the first date, I know it can get really hot, burning hot. Unlike those men in the movies, I am not one to try to trick a woman into having sex with me. I could, but I don't. It is always up to the woman to determine how far it goes. If I don't want it - I will stop it, just as I would expect her to do.
At my age, sex is two consenting adults enjoying what feels good. It is not punishment or revenge. It is not a triumph or a tally mark. When I am with a woman that is wanting sex with me and I feel the same it is dishonest to her, and myself, if we do not act on our desires.
By the time sex is in the question on the first date there had to have been some kind of compatibility first. If that date leads to sex which leads to a second date the sex was also a compatibility factor in that relationship.
People change after sex. I have seen it. I am looking for compatibility after the sex. Once those urges are sated, do you still want to be with each other. Hold them, hear them talk and be intimate. Sex on the first date can tell much about the other person.
On the other hand, not having sex on the first date is good too. If you are not sure your date is being honest with you it could lead to more trouble than it is worth. If there is no connection between the two of you and the intimacy is being pushed, the sex probably means nothing to them.
Then there is the delusion that religion or morality keeps you from enjoying yourself. Someone that 'blames' "the way they were brought up" as a reason for not being an adult and making their own decisions will probably have other factors in their lives that they 'blame' instead of making their own decisions and knowing their own desires.
No sex on the first date says "I don't trust you with my desires" when that date gets hot. If it gets hot and they say "Not yet" and set up a second date it might be because they are not sure of something. If there is going to be no sex on the first date, do not let the encounter get intimate or hot.
The whole reason people date is to determine if the other is compatible with their desires. You are looking for someone to be intimate with, sex is but one form of intimacy. Before you agree to date someone your first instinct is to find someone that you would love to have sex with. If they repulse you when you look at them you will not go on a date with them. Unless you are looking for something else. Money, mannerisms or social status...etc. There is nothing wrong with dating for those reasons as long as you are honest about it and both of you agree on it. After all, we are adults.
If I date a woman and I find her attractive and she also finds me attractive and we want sex on the first date, why should either of us not be honest?
Could I have meaningless sex on the first date?
Sure, it feels good. If she can convince me that she is clean, free of blood-borne pathogens, not insane and wants me too.
