Baby Fever

Yesterday we had a little family gathering at my sister’s place and it was well attended by the younger generation; mostly the offspring of some of my cousins, naturally a few times removed.

We were privileged to have no less than fourteen children present; four of them between the ages of two and four years old. My two nieces were also present and, as usually, their offspring spend a lot of time with their favorite uncle. Very soon the other ankle biters followed suit and before long I had my hands full. Not that I minded, I love children, especially at that age.

And now I have baby fever. I want a baby! But when I thought about it for a while, I realized that I have some reservations. I don’t think I want to go through all the rigmarole of putting up with a woman suffering from morning sickness, cravings and what ever else. She must deliver immediately. And the baby must be born a two-year old. With all the teeth that is needed for that age, able to talk (not too much though), able to walk (definitely not too far) and fully potty trained. Oh yes, and immune against the normal child diseases. And lastly, it must remain at that age; no further growing or aging. Think it can be done?

On second thoughts, maybe I should just buy one of those walking and talking dolls - no, not the kind that wet their knickers. But that won’t be the same - those big blue eyes are dead and unresponsive.

Or maybe I should try the adult version of those dolls and call her ‘Baby’. I hear the top models even make the appropriate noises at the right times.

Shit! How did I get here? I was talking about babies.

Have a great Monday. I don't know why some call them blue.