Up early this morning , Another storm warning, taking my antibiotics. I was very taken with a blog I read, about being 'played' [it was Nams and that's obvious]...
I thought the poem was sad. The story was sad. We have all been 'played' 'used' unless we are very lucky.
Regardless of Age,, Race, Colour, Class, Education, Intelligence, [Emotional intelligence] we become Myopic when we fall for somebody.
The Red Flags are always there... Often we are so excited by the prospect of this great chemistry, [like a drug], the feelings within us like a shot of Heroin through our veins, the high the person gives us, the thought that 'this is the one ' we deliberately ignore those tiny little voices from the bottom of our stomach 'Our Gut Feelings'
Gut feelings are an animal instinct, how sad that as humans we tend to intellectualise, and rationalise everything in our heads all the time, ~ particularly in relationships. Oh, it's just her way, He says he is busy so must be,
Waiting for somebody to phone... somebody who is a game player.
Probably the most dangerous of all... the controller, the Narcissist. Those who take you up in the air like a whirlwind, you suck you in with a love that isnot love, but who play you, and things happen too quick, too fast, and before you know the person, you are in a relationship, beginning to feel pangs of pain, and making excuses for people.
So, when I read something like this . It makes me sad. Somebody broke my heart a few years back.
As you get older, things hurt us more . We don't bounce back that quickly, and if it is genuine love, we go through a period of grief, and self searching . Eventually, and I am ashamed to say this, It took me 2 years of absolute hell, when the man came back into my life to be 'friends' but tried too for benefits [no I am not that stupid].... but I was lonely, and I knew him well, we had so much in common.
Now I have come to realise , I am, like Nam said, an option,, not a priority, and when that becomes apparent, it is time to say goodbye, Just text, whatever feels right , but don't get sucked into an emotional debate.
This man said and says 'You were the love of my life ' but not so much that he even bothered to phone in the past 3 days knowing I am very ill with pheumonia [ok might seem ok on blogs but cannot speak and hard to breathe]..... no, nothing in it there for me.
So, to finish up... in the Beginning the Red Flags are there. We choose not to see them. I really believe that. We rationalise as I've said,make excuses. Love is very blind, infatuation gives you pink vision.
Somebody who plays games, talks about other women/Men she /he's had in glowing terms and speaks about their great looks, beauty is a game player, letting you know how lucky you are to have him.
Somebody who rushes the whole relationship thing... and wants intimacy emotionally, and sexually too fast, too soon and 'falls in love' too fast, isnot a healthy person emotionally and will be a control freak.
~Somebody who buys you too many gifts in the beginning and then it peters out completely [who wants lots of gits? ] is buying your love and winning you over. not healthy
So, regardless of age, looks, love is not beyond any of us. I have cut ties with my old 'friend' it became apparent that he phoned me when it suited. Never collected me to take me to his house but let me get the bus over nearly 2hours of a journey, why? coz he doesnot like driving. i am embarrassed writing this but sometimes, loneliness and the need for a friend who seems to truly share our hobbies [art and photography] in this case, and politics.... is hard to give up as a friend. But there is a time to say goodby