Curtains

Curtains have been around since the Roman times, they were originally called toga's as the Romans wore them, at night when they fancied intercourse or an orgy they removed the togas and placed them over the windows to gain some privacy.

During the Edwardian and Victorian eras curtains were made from silk and other expensive materials, these days they are made from cheap synthetic material often the byproduct of Spaghetti and envelope factories.

They became fashionable during the Blitz in London and the colour choice was black, this is so they could watch TV without the German bombers seeing them and dropping a few bombs on them, this is where the American term “Cuytons” meaning death originates from.

The International Space Station has curtains made from gold and platinum as they had the money to do so, but the initial design and budget called for cardboard. Why they even need curtains is a mystery.

Most people use curtains at night, this is silly as it's dark outside; curtains should be used during the day when they are more effective.

In Ireland Curtains were used as a food source during the potato famine, The Slainte Museum in Cork City shows wonderful photos of families gathered at the table for a Sunday meal of pure cotton curtains, a practice still carried out the day after St.Patricks day.

The term “Blinds” as a window privacy item is rude and derogatory to blind people as the sign language for blinds is identical to “Asthmatic dog fart”, it’s hoped that someone will invent a braille version of the offending word.

I have no curtains on my windows but have some outside, my windows have integrated blinds because I am posh and they keep the monsters out.