The Manopause

We always hear about the female menopause, but never the manopause, normally between 40 and 65 years old its alleged that our testosterone levels drop, we do have some bad effects like moodiness, irritability but in general it makes us more positive, we develop more listening skills, we may not hear what’s being said but will nod at the right times and seem more patient with children and animals.

Its bollocks when people say our sex drive decreases, it increases and so does the frequency of our “male members” becoming engorged.

We suffer in different ways but strive to remain men, and be as manly as possible but are sensitive souls, I sobbed uncontrollably when I found a green and a white towel in my bathroom, but then went outside and beat up a rock as I am a man and it’s expected of me.

So women, please give men who maybe having a mid-life crisis a break as we don’t really know what we are doing or saying.
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Comments (34)

Oookay, it is to early for me to be reading about male members becoming engorged uh oh

Unless you are talking about a private club where the food is high in fats and carbs and there is a high rate of male obesity.
Molly, No, perhaps some tea and try again later, I am aware Tuesdays dont work well with you.hug
Molly giggle giggle giggle
Map, my Art seems to be handling his manopause pretty well I would say....wink
Mimi, judging by your happiness and the smiles on you and Arts faces I would have to agree!
I can only sympathise map..sounds like it's a tough time to go through..all that gorging must be hard wink the listening qualities and understanding side is a bonus....does life start at the manopause I wonder dunno
Rough, Yes it's hard, very hard and makes wearing certain types of trousers impossible, jogging pants seem to be more suitable.

I think life gets better during the Manopause, we man are happier, more compliant and not embarrassed to wear a trendy hipster flat cap in public.
Oh, Map!

I'll never look at men the same way again hug comfort
diova!, fabulous seeing you here, We are not animals and Im sure we will be appreciated more!
Well, we are animals but tamer.hug
Joogging pants and flat cap love now I know why I like an older man....do you have Velcro shoes as well laugh
The other one thats good, is when she's front on to the toddler, like tying a shoelace or something, and you get to see a bit of boxing glove.
Rough, Velcro shoes are a no no, but I will admit to slip on's, I never really learned to tie laces on civilian shoes.

But the height of fashion of flat cap, jogging pants and maybe a t-shirt are all the rage in the male fashion magazines, or I dreamt that, but Id say its true.
Thanks, Map hug

Though I have nothing against men, I do love animals more than humans grin
diova, Thats understandable, You should meet some real men who beat up rocks and not the innocent and just maybe you would put some of us on a par with animals, but not tortoises, they just slow us down.
I have to say I lost the will to live at green and white towels.


Commiserations comfort
Serene, You understand!, thats wonderful, Its a terrible thing to see in any bathroom, My sobbing was justified and I feel whole and manly again, thank you.hug
Mapmaker, also men have habits worse I not want mention when become elder. laugh
Map, don't mix the green and white one in with the others scold
Molly, being half deaf I do have an impediment, so cannot see what colour the towels are.

pat, That never came to mind, but it has now, thankfully I have many towels somewhere and will change them to purple or magenta, but I dont use them, just for show, I have a manly fluffy bath sheet hidden away from prying eyes.
You left out the bit about chasing young girls to make them feel youg again. Luckiy I am now old enough to date men who are over all that kind of problems. It is just the knee and hip repacements and the box full of chronic medication that get a bit in the way when they finally get back to normal again. laugh
Ek, you should tell them to save all their replacements and do them all together for a discounted rate laugh
Howzit Ek, Yes I should have added the fact those in the manopause do chase younger women to boost our egos, I dont have any hip or other issues yet, nor a box of medicine, but I do have matching clothes hangers and they all face hook inwards. (I have no idea why I said that)
Molly, I believe that smothering oneself with coconut oil 3 times a day and then once a week rubbing the bark from a tree felled in the autumn will stop the joints from going bad, I read it in a women's magazine so it must be true.
Map, you have diagnosed me, now I can be saved,...........laugh cheers
Map, old man stench?uh oh

You will cause me to lower my preferred age group by another 10 years laugh
Ha Ha map, I love that definition, and I like scented candles lol,.........laugh cheers
Scotty, I'm sorry to have to break some bad news, If you are using lavender scented candles you may as well just go and buy a nighty, take up knitting and begin shouting at the soap shows, Become a cardigan wearing member of the Jeremy Kyle studio audience and get a few dozen cats, You may have or will become.................a woman.

Change that buy buying chainsaw scented man candles, my particular favorite is tractor exhaust by Paco Rabanne
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing Hilarious but at least you admit to men going through the same thing....sans hot flushes!
Unla, We do but we just pretend we are welding or other manly things!hug
I know this, it's just nice to see a man admit to it laugh laugh
Unla, We normally just suffer in silence, sob at sad movies when alone and listen to Abba, however when the womenfolk are around or within a hundred km we act up, but its what we are supposed to do.

Sheesh I sound like a moffiedunno
Is that why so many men take to DIY in middle age, Map?

To cover up the hot flushes? laugh
Molly, yes, I will say that we do, not just to cover the hot flushes but our shaking hands make sawing wood easier to disguise, we can also swear more openly and get to wear nice DIY clothing like knee guards that help disguise the searing pain we have.
Map, I guess as long as you are happy, I'm happy bouquet


grin
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Mapmaker

Mapmaker

Inland near Jaen, Andalusia, Spain

Can we be truly honest in self-description? This is my attempt. And to ensure it has some degree of truth, I’ve asked a female friend to give her opinion also. So here goes :

ME:
I’m not rich or very good looking; I’m overweight but working on th [read more]

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