Life can change in a second

Yesterday I was attacked in my garden by a rabid butterfly, and at first I thought it was minor, but not long after the savage attack life seemed to change.

Now I want a baby and a cute matching woman, so if anyone is interested let me know, the ideal age is past the nappy stage, so perhaps 35 years and older.

I am somewhat house trained and although a messy person I’m willing to learn to put things in the right places, IE plates in the kitchen not in my desk drawers, I promise to stop mooning my fridge too.

I also want a clean cloth, eating at my desk I have bread crumbs and soggy tomato splashes, I cleaned it up with a lettuce leaf, surely that’s not the best thing to do.

So if you can either be a baby over 35 or tell me how to get a cleaning cloth I would be happy to hear from you.
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Comments (42)

Me! Meee! Pick meeeeeeeeeee!!!! applause applause applause
Hi Mimi!, As my baby?, I'm sure either art or the little boy wonder a few blogs down wont like that, but you are in!, now what about a cleaning cloth, do you come with one?hug
Yayyyyyyyy!!!! I'm in!! yay yay yay


Hmmmmm.....cleaning cloth......would my smelly blanket do? batting
Mimi, Smelly blankets are a passion of mine, Ive been collecting them for many years, you seem perfectkiss
Map, luckily for you, I have recently purchased a new packet of cleaning cloths
Obviously they are untouched by human hand, and likely to stay that way for the foreseeable future
I can either send it to you by post (COD) or else hand deliver it at the end of the summer.
Molly reunion


Cool for the summer, eh? cool
Molly, Postage is expensive, I will wait until the end of summer for a personal delivery, Lettuce is cheap so I will use that for my current cleaning needs, I will try using an iceberg lettuce in the washing machine and report my findings.
Molly


Imagine if I got it patented! Ka-ching! Ka-chinggggg!!!
Mimi, I can smell that wonderful rancid rotting blanket from here, my senses are overloaded with joy!
Ka-ching allows for many holidays and trips abroad, Mimi wink

Map, put the ice-berg in at a low heat, and do not tumble dry thumbs up
Get the strongest pesticide allowable in your country, saturate the whole place with it. Then use a long handled shovel to bust up all the birds nests in the trees. Since there's been problems already, you probably want to spray the place for bugs as well.
Map

I come with a cloth but I don't clean wave
Hi diova, Thats OK, I have a cleaner twice a week, she has been to college and has a diploma in cloth usewave
Its genetic. The same way migratory species can travel great distances, women are able to clean things up. Its great.
Pat, I would make a better migratory bird than a cleaning bird
Map, generally men do not clean to the same extent as women. I am not saying that is a bad thing, but women seem to see dirt more than men laugh
Women see more dirt for 2 reasons, firstly they are often shorter and nearer the dirt, secondly its a little game or should I say talent they have for spotting amassed particulate matter, men are trained to look for danger and so on so they see things bigger than molecules like tigers and bears.

But Its men who have amazing abilities to think on the spot, like myself this morning, I could have gone to get a cloth but instantly and without thought used a lettuce leaf to clean my spills up.
Map

With or without the cloth, the experience will bring a whole new meaning to 'life-changing'
diova, I think that is true, sod the cloth, its the baby I want more!hug
Maybe borrow a teething baby for a few hours, Map

You may prefer a cleaning cloth afterwards
Molly I distinctly said post nappy age from about 35 years old plus, unless some teethe at that age Im safe.
Map, if you want an Over-35 child, I suggest you get a man grin
Map, in that case, you should write a blog stating exactly what you are looking for professor

We can do online interviews to prospective partners that way cool
Molly, I might just do that, but like a baby I need my nap time before a bottle later.hug
Map, i will provide my usual response: "good luck with your search"
I'm 38, have lots of cloths and guess what I even have a mop too....but no good at being a baby....I grew up a couple of years back blushing but there are some funny websites where you can type in exactly what you want and they will ship it over wink
Free thanks im sure i will find a cloth soon.hug
Rough, cloths and a mop, perfect.

I dont actually want a baby as such, I started writing the blog with the desire for a child as i missed all that. Knowing it would not happen i veered towards just a woman with a cloth.hug
This is/was a fun conversation to read!!
laugh beer
Cham, This is why we blog, madness and education.
Pass the butterfly to me please map I get these mails from youguns and always say wow noway so maybe butterfly will change my mindrolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
Red, Young-uns looking for adventure will always be knocking at your doorhug
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing yep to ask me if i need some help roll eyes I NEED THAT BUTTERFLY grin
Red Ok then one rabid butterfly on its way to Northumberland as we speak.

Actually I now wonder if it was rancid butter with flies and not a rabid butterfly?



Embedded image from another site
No man, you need a cleaner! Actually, I do too....wanna share one? sigh
Hi Unla, I have re employed the one I fired, she has improved, If you pay for the flights you can have her for 8 euros an hour.
Done deal. I think I can find Ryanair flights cheaper than I can get a cleaner here laugh
Excellent Unla, Im sure your Spanish is at a standard where you can point at things and make washy/cleany movements with your handsrolling on the floor laughing
laugh Is that what you do?
Yoikes! You praat die taal, ne?
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Mapmaker

Mapmaker

Inland near Jaen, Andalusia, Spain

Can we be truly honest in self-description? This is my attempt. And to ensure it has some degree of truth, I’ve asked a female friend to give her opinion also. So here goes :

ME:
I’m not rich or very good looking; I’m overweight but working on th [read more]

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