Having a family
We are all on this planet because we were born from another human. If you do not already know, to naturally have a child/family, it takes two people of the opposite sex to procreate.I do not know how norms, culture, and society works across the globe, so I can only reference the country I live in and how it operates.
It has been always the man's duty to approach the woman and take the initiative on creating the harmonious bond, where the couple eventually make a family in many cases (average family size 2 1/2 kids).
The man brought home the bacon and the woman fried it up in the pan.
The woman, man, and children lived a life under one roof and given our human nature, they bonded.
In some cases, that did not happen. There were tensions, but not in all cases. At worse, the man knew he was a father and the mother knew she was a mother....very rarely did it happen that the parents did not recognize themselves as parents.
Fast forward to today with feminism....and in many cases life is not like it was 20+ years ago. The man has become less valuable to some feminist women. I do not know the numbers or percentages on this...but they have become less valuable.
Our human nature, both men and women, are to procreate...otherwise our s*xual urges would not exist. These urges are beyond our control...they are innate. So with that said, it is our nature, both men and women, to produce offspring.
Now in traditional days...I would argue even today (because some women like to have their cake and eat it too) the female gender was at an advantage for having the opportunity to have offspring. Because of the tradition of men approaching women, they had ample more opportunity to engage in practices to produce offspring. Does that make sense? If she is getting approached by men and she is feeling her natural urges at a particular time, she then chooses to "engage." Some women got approached by men hundreds of times a week...some maybe ten times a week. In everyone of these cases, if she wanted to "engage", she could simply oblige.
With men, they didn't have that luxury. They might approach hundreds of different women per week, or some men maybe ten per week...and not get any female takers. The bottom line is, women decide. He had to prove his worth to the woman. She needed to know that the man was going to be there for her and not leave her high and dry...fending for the care of the family on her own. In addition, if the woman was not in the mood..no go. In addition, if the woman was not attracted to him...no go. In addition, if her friends gave the thumbs down...no go. Most men had it fairly tough...that is even in traditional days.
Today we have feminism. Even in traditional days, a man had to get "lucky" to get a woman in his life. The feminist days are going to require even more luck.
Now what about abortion? Say there is a man and woman couple together in today's society and they engage in their nature given urges and procreate. The man wants a child but the woman does not. She has a right to end the pregnancy.
With more difficulty of man finding a mate and the female having a right to abort....
When coming to genders, does that give the female more power over life than the male?
If so, is it fair?
I don't know myself...but a question to ponder...I think anyway.
Comments (46)
First can I ask why the 2 and 1/2 if a child designation?
I think it's too early for me to think Johnny, but I don't think there's any complications just because women asserts more on everything these days. It's part of our progression from women of no rights to equal, I think.
SR
The topic is about the desire for each gender to have his or her own family...and which gender has more control over that happening.
I would think that with feminism, the woman has more control over the man on whether or not he has a child.
Both genders have the desire to procreate.
Therefore, both genders, by their nature, should have equal right (opportunity) to procreate??
The 2 1/2 I reference is the average child count in each family in the U.S. during traditional days.
If a man & woman decide to be together (married or not), shouldn't they discuss whether they want kids prior to that?
If the woman says she doesn´t, or can´t have any, then it´s up to the man if he still wants to be with that woman or not.
And also vice versa.
That is because they have to carry the baby for 9 months, and generally be the main caregiver for 18 years and beyond.
That is a major undertaking. Which is why they do hold more power in that arena.
Sure, lots of men are better dads than they once were, and I know some brilliant dads.
But there are also the ones who disappear at the first mention of pregnancy, or the baby's crying after 'a hard day's work' gets on his nerves, or a myriad of other reasons
The mother is nearly always the one holding the baby, literally. This is why the power is with the female.
I can relate to the decision making as to who has more control and yes in today's world, I can definitely sum it up that women has earned the greater control on this part.
My youngest daughter even decided all by herself and inspiteof some offers to get married, she opts not to.
She's raising my awesome grandson all by herself and very happy.
She had her without being married as her boyfriend then asked her to abort him. She was so mad, she broke up with him. After he was born, asked her to marry him and said, no.
My grandson is now 8 and very happy. Sees his dad on court arrangements and no problems.
Not my choice Johnny but in today's world, values have changed. Independence and choices combined had made our social values changed.
Seems like your Bah-logical clock is really ticking. All these blogs you've posted lately about Feen-a-mints-ism. Sheesh!
You better find yourself a lady pretty soon. You know, a guy could end up going out of his mind if he doesn't satisfy his bahlogical clock needs in time. Or he could up posting stories on the blogs. Know anyone like that? Anyways, I think I saw a movie like that on Twilight Zone or somewhere at one time or two others.
I'll start looking for a lady for you in the yellow pages or information or somewhere. They got them websites and clubs where they say, "Real ladies, real profiles, the lady even makes the first move."
But sincerely, if you find a lady or she finds you, and you get into a relationship.. before having a family or even getting married for that matter, be sure you both understand each other first. In other words, know what you're getting into and with whom you're getting into it with, before you commit.
Just my not humble opinion.
No CH, this blog is not about frustration, otherwise I would have titled as such and wrote about that. This is just something that occurred to me. My hormones are in balance.
BTW..and of course I am not saying you did this...
But your statement is a great way of diminishing a statement from somebody. Instead of addressing the issue, just minimize the person. Ask Trump, he got elected.
Thanks CH...nice to see your comment.
kinda busy with my Apha male here, I'll get back to you shortly...then we will have some serious talk about this sunject...one on one, that's is if you're up for it
If you are talking about talking on the phone, I cannot promise you my undivided attention. There is a huge car festival going on tonight I will be going to with a friend.
We could attempt a conversation if you would like.
Their natural father a musician,toured Europe. When he returned they refused him admission to California where he owned a studio eventually, met Sofia,had 6 sons! This was 1995,over child support I never filed for. His attorney contacted me with the LA court to send an notarized statement to correct their error.
We were both content with what life threw our way.Although letting him know I was pregnant with twins was a little daunting.The distance in our lifestyles combined with respecting each person's choices were NEVER
meant to be tampered with in a court. My adult children fully understand that there were stigmas that both
the man and woman faced,e.g. "deadbeat dad" or "seed sower" and for me,I was confronted by women
adament "he should pay".
The concept that our children are mistakes,unwanted debts,or to be fought over
is exactly the opposite of what we both believed. They know they were a blessing in both our lives.
With divorces in the '90's..many other children had 2 homes,stepkids or dating single parents.
We are a closeknit family of 3. Do FATHERHOOD your way Johnny!
It is a cherished relationship that allows your love to conquer any obstacles.
I see u for what u r, not the image on cs.
Carry on !
no, not on the phone...you make me giggle when you talk. I meant you post a blog about feminism and rights of men or the lack of it and I'll be there...
Ladies stop lauding cycles,birthing as reasons to elevate your esteem.
If you were blessed, you don't praise yourself,or expect him to see
it as reason for him to step aside.
Men instinctively
Their new love should be less dramatic.Taken seriously.
Thank you for the clarification, and you are right.
Regarding the obligation part for a man to have a child...I think it should be equal. If the woman has more power over the man for having a child, that is not equal.
Anyway, just something that happened to pop in my head and thought was worth pondering here on the blogs.
We are in an era where women are pushing for equal gender roles...and I say good for them. Should not men then therefore push for equal gender roles?
There is no way around the woman carrying the baby for 9 months before it is born. I get that. However, the argument that she is the caregiver for 18 years is completely not accurate.
Now days women bring home the paycheck as well; therefore, they are not the caregivers they once were.
I think if women want equal rights and men...the men should have equal rights to women...and that includes bringing life into this world.
It is not fair.
Good for your grandson. He is there for you and all. I am happy to hear that.
As you mentioned, women have earned to have more control over birth. That very well may be true...especially 20 years ago.
Can I ask you SR...how would you suggest to a man to "earn" more control over birth to be equal with women?
Thank you for your post.
Life supersedes any amount of money you can have.
Life is more cherished than any other man made thing that has ever existed.
Yet...men play second fiddle when it comes to procreating it.
So true about the biological clock thing.
But not to be confusing here. I have given it some thought, and I am not sure I would even want a child...maybe with the absolute right woman...maybe...but the likelihood of that happening...I may as well try and find a tall tree and hope for lightening to hit me.
This blog does not come from a selfish personal perspective.
I am talking about the male species in general.
...you, me, tim, joe, john, greg, bob, nick, carl.....every man....
The youngest female generation and male generation seem to be most susceptible to what feminism has brought to this era....but not solely exclusively to them.
What was the divorce rate a few years back 70%....or so?
What was the divorce rate about 20ish years ago...maybe 10%
Well, if we look at that with a little comparison to what has changed in society (feminism), we might be able to figure out the driving force behind the higher divorce rate.
Thanks Robert.
Very nice to see your lovely face grace this blog.
...but, something tells me I might be just getting started on this equal gender rights stuff.
Thank you for sharing your experience/situation. It sounds like something of an unusual set of circumstances. There is no doubt...life is not as simple as just black or white...there are many shades in between. It will not be a one size fits all.
All my talk here is in regards to, in general or the expected norm.
But you are so right about fatherhood. I was never a father, but I helped raise my ex-gf's son for 13 years and it was the most gratifying (if that is even the word to describe it)...feeling and sense of worth/accomplishment I ever felt. .....in one word, as you say...."love"
Thanks Ash
BTW...I am sorry it didn't work out for your children's father to be closer.
However, I doubt that can include men becoming pregnant and carrying the child though. .That is a little beyond the scope of legislation at the moment
My male friend used to always bemoan the fact he couldn't have a baby. Men are totally dependent on women in that sense.
As for women not playing the major role in child minding. I disagree with you that the majority still don't. Yes, they bring home a pay cheque as well, but many still take on more responsibility in the house as well.
Luckily more men are stepping up though, so there is hope for the future.
I was teasing you about duty but it is exactly the right word.It is Love,that is devoted to giving their future the best outcome with what you have,no matter what happens.If you saw Jimnastics' blog,that father was devoted.
Please send his son a birthday card to the address,and best inspiration for his daily struggle.
Johnny!
What kind of a place do you live??
I shall have to visit you to see these uzi-slinging; camouflage-wearing man-hating feminists patrolling the streets looking for unsuspecting men to terrorise
50/50 profits?
I'll get it written up. You can tell me yes or no, I will make the proper edits, get it to market, collect the money, and deliver you cash.
Boy....I will get myself into trouble yet here.
If you continue like this, I'll have to marry you.
(Note that you have not been given a choice here -start as we mean to go on
Take care Molly, thanks for the fun.