Wasted relationship
This would be one of my rare personal topics in blog land. I wasn't going to share and let the world judge me and my situation but I thought I need it just to confirm whether my decision is right or wrong.Here's the situation: the ex of whom I'm having a relationship with got hold of him through "kik", they talked and from the transcripts (of which I won't go into detail), they're very excited and she still calls him baby. (She left him for a millionaire with multiple businesses world wide, married him and living in the high nines). They have 30 years difference and from what I gather she misses my partner so much specially in bed.
Imagine my shock reading their conversations.
This went on for a week. He never mentioned to me about it. The worst part is he acted as though I don't exist, let alone in a relationship.
Note: I terminated our relationship and he's fighting so hard to save it. Explaining that that isn't cheating.
We're just over three years and would have been married but thank God, we're not. We are planning on buying a house together. Just couldn't make up our minds if in California or in Mid West
How do you feel, if it were you? We've been together as a couple talking about forever.
Thanks all for your reads and comments if any.
2nd Note: he'd been confirmed cheater and womanizer. However, with me, professing to have changed.
Last NOTE: I accidentally discovered the conversation. He's in the living room while I was in the bedroom where he charges his phone. It beeped and in his business, it's important for him to respond right away. My shock to realize it's his ex. I'm not spying nor snooping. Lol I think when I trust a person, I trust and not worried about what they do to hurt the relationship.
Comments (63)
Sorry to hear of your situation! Would rather talk to you in a PM instead of on your blog!
Jim
The natural recruit would be to leave and walk out.....
But sometimes it's not easy as it is, not especially when there's deep feelings involved.
Whatever the outcome is, I wanna wish you 'less hurt and pain'
I just wanted to share for purposes of sharing.
It's cathartic and very enlightening.
No experience would ever be similar and therefore decisions are never the same.
But thanks much for your opinion, and comments.
If anything, I finally experience a relationship that made me feel like losing my self worthand self respect.
Maybe I am not getting the whole gist of the situation...which I think would be nearly impossible for me to get, because I am only hearing your side.
But what I am curious about is, how did he respond to his ex? I mean, if he responded by saying he missed her in bed too...that would be rather distasteful....I would think.
"This went on for a week. He never mentioned to me about it. The worst part is he acted as though I don't exist, let alone in a relationship."
The first part of that statement, maybe he was embarrassed or felt that it would not be accepted well if you knew about it (of it would not be accepted well) But, if she contacted him without him soliciting the conversation, maybe he thought that this was just going to be a one-off conversation and was taking action to prevent it from happening again.
The second part...that is a somewhat a subjective statement. Maybe you felt that way after finding out about the conversation.
What do I mean by bias coming into play...well, you broke off the relationship so you were upset and unhappy with him. That in and of itself is a sort of bias.
Anyway, perhaps some things to think about.
You're most welcome.
As long as you're happy...
Lol. .I'm really happy for you.
This is my last mail."
.I just texted him back this one.
I blocked his number and wouldn't prolong the conversation as nothing can change my decision.
I'm happy it's over.
Thanks Sea.
His response and of course I wouldn't continue as I said that was my last mail.
Forget and forgive. Or it's forgive and forget.
John I did.
His response and of course I wouldn't continue as I said that was my last mail.
Forget and forgive. Or it's forgive and forget.
John I did.
And if any bragging, they're millionaires and young and clean. One of them is a friend if 35 years, my ex client. Still waiting for me.
The point yes, there's many out there but now I wouldn't even attempt to consider the idea.
You're bulls eye in all your ideas.
But yes it's not like I was snooping on his phone. I was in the bedroom where he's charging his phone, he was in the living room watching news. It beeped and it was her.
One way or the other, I'll find out. I'm glad it's sooner.
Now I can travel again. Be myself and free.
Have not read all the other replies but I personally would not be over hasty to say 'farewell' to the guy..
Then again I'm not you'
How old is he?
Were you planning to get married?
If the relationship is more platonic then give the guy space. You know the old story of 'setting a bird free'.
How long will it take to find another guy that awakens the same feelings in you?
Im all for a open and honest relationship. Then thats me.
JMHO.
...I woulden`t like to live with somone spying on me, thats for sure....
Yes ,I m old fashioned, and firmly believe when in a serious relationship, ones attention, (all) should be given to their partner, not an ex. Lindsy ,sorry if I am blunt, but your situation sure brings back some similar memories.
Its seems once a person gets so old, we figure we ve seen a lot, and learnt a lot,, but life still manages to confuse us,
I'm not hurt as much as I feel betrayed. No one ever took my trust for granted.
How are you my friend.
I love that, the importance of focus is on the current. See? Never heard that before. I think he'll learn. That's why we say6"charge it to experience".
That's if he thinks he feels the astronomical effects of loss.
This whole thing to me seems shady, the fact he pretended you didn't exist alone is cause for concern and that he seems pretty eager to talk to and meet up with this woman is not the actions of a person who is supposed to be involved already.
Be careful.
I really don't know what to say...whatever makes you feel good, go for it
Thanks.
I'm too old to be fooled. My fault really. I went against all odds, knowing what I knew then.
But the experience, I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Thanks ading.
just keep the good memories...
Truly the real feelings of loving someone was that one. I was an emotional wreck on that and promise never to love again.
He, this man, made me relaxed, easy and I never really cried. If anything he made me laugh a lot, very smart and caring in a way.
Still - she has proved herself to be a money-grubbing gold digger, and knowing that, he still responded to her, he said nothing to you, he let the conversation develop, and yup, he blew it. If that's the sort of woman who rocks his boat, you are well out.
There are no accidents. If he had been desperate for you not to know, he would have kept his phone with him at all times, charging or not. Things work out as they are meant to.
But - ouch. Right now you must be madder than a wet hen.
Exactly Elle.
He's desperately explaining how it wasn't what looks like but by golly, yep, he blew it.
Now I blocked all communications with him and I'm happy.
Thanks Elle.
I get it.
Thanks, I read every word and I'm expecting to be on the grind if reality for a while.
Whatever it takes I'll be wiser, again, and life goes on.
Thanks Sea, a most needed guide to lead me on, the decision of ruther Next or No More.
Thank you Ed my friend. a while.